PREVIOUSLY ON AMC
Erica to Dimitri: "I won't apologize for needing you."
At the boathouse, Leo says to Laura and Bianca: "You never heard of a primal scream? It cleanses the soul." Laura: "Yeah, well, next time try yoga!" Leo: "Yoga's for the body, screaming is for the mind."
Dixie to Tad: "If our marriage means anything to you, you will tell me the truth! Did you sleep with Leslie Coulson?" Tad: "Yes." Dixie: "I want you to pack up your stuff and get out."
THE YACHT
Leo steps up to Laura, who is looking over the railing out to sea, and touches her arm. She jumps and he backs off, telling her to relax. The subject of Greenlee in assailant mode comes up and he insists that she wouldn't dare show her face around there again [not very bright, is he?] She asks him to show her how to do that primal scream thing he did earlier at the boathouse, since she's pretty stupid [hence her going back to high school two years after she graduated] and can't figure out what any infant knows how to do. [Why do all these people insist on hanging around damp places in freezing weather? Her sweater is open and his shirt is 1/2 unbuttoned. It's JANUARY in NEW ENGLAND in a HARBOR you IMBECILES!] After intently listening to his complicated instructions, she sucks in a big gulp of air and promptly swallows it, backing off of the therapeutic exhalation [but building a GREAT stockpile of potential burp material]. He says she can do better than that, but she glumly says that she can't. He offers to do it with her and they do so on the count of three.
Laura is pleased with her cathartic yelling. She wants to stay outside a little longer [why is she there in the first place?] to continue to chase her demons. Despite the freezing weather and her lack of proper winter attire, her nipples do NOT stand out against the silk of her blouse. She shivers and Leo comes up behind her bearing a blanket. He drapes it around her and she snuggles into it. He keeps his hands on her shoulders a little too long. They both look uncomfortable. Leo says she's had some tough breaks. She says it wasn't all bad, she has Brooke, Jamie & Aunt Pheebs -- still, the bad stuff keeps sucking her back: the fire at the SRO (single room occupancy) that killed her mom, these creeps that want to invade her life (pornographers, etc.) and then someone pushes her off a boat and she almost died -- but she refuses to let it rule her. He says she's doing a good job, but she demurs, saying she's trying to be brave. Leo clumsily hops up to sit on the railing [making me wonder if his butt got wet in the process] and says he thinks that she is used to things not working out for her, so it's safer to expect the worse. He knows how that is, but he can't do that anymore. Now he wants to think years ahead about his future, not just the coming weekend. Because of Vanessa's shallow views to reinforce his own, he used to think his destiny was to marry a wealthy woman, but now he doesn't know what he wants to do. He wishes he had some kind of talent that he could feel passionate about, like her photography. She says she does it because it's a way for her to hold onto what's real, what she thinks matters -- it's a way to stop and really look closely at people and catch them unguarded and beautiful. He says that's how he sees HER. She asks if he's kidding -- the walls she puts up around herself are higher than the ones she saw in China. He says she's wrong -- she tries hard, but she's wrong. She walks a few paces away and says she can't do this anymore because she'll start to cry.
She apologizes for being a downer. He says he lives by two rules: one, never explain, two, never apologize. Does she want to scream again? She says she doesn't need to anymore and he says to consider herself cleansed. She says he's really good at this. He glumly says he's a babe magnet for chicks in distress. She says it wasn't a slam -- she saw him with Bianca and he helped her through some rough ground. He isn't too sure about THAT. Look how things are now with Erica and Bianca. And Greenlee's a MESS. He says he should come with a label that says "Befriend at your own risk". She laughs and says not to blame himself for Greenlee's self- destruction, and Erica's problems with Bianca are Erica's loss, not his. He feels like there's something missing and he wishes he could have done something to make a difference. Laura: "I don't think so. I mean, you know that famous phrase 'It's Erica's world, we just live in it'? [she inexplicably climbs the railing and sits on it, despite having nearly drowned on Thanksgiving Eve because she can't swim] Well, Greenlee has become a planet in her own right!" He says his dear diabolical mom is the same way. He's detecting a pattern. Laura: "What? Too many toxic women?" He asks how he could shake them. She tells him to just walk away and not look back [take her advice NOW, Leo!] He's focusing on the future anyway now, right? He says he can't just erase the past. She says her theory is 'survival of the quickest' -- when the going gets rough, just hightail it and RUN. She says that's how she got away with it last time. It's how she dealt with her mom's death. It's how she got out of the porno mill. Leo: "Say what?" She realizes he didn't know and explains: Well, it's on my permanent record. I'm part of Pine Valley's folklore. I was a teenage porn princess. Yeah, you can download me on the internet." Leo: "No, that's ok. I'm not really into that stuff." She says she isn't either, but she was young and stupid. She RAN from it. She's ready to stay in one place now, though, with her family and friends. He asks if he can be on that list and she says he IS. Leo: "Well, whenever you need your soul cleansed, just let me know." He walks over to her and they kiss. [I wonder if she's going to fall overboard again due to the pressure of the kiss]
Leo pulls away and laments: "The boy does it again!" He's shameless! Her survival play is to turn and run. His is to catch and mooch. She climbs back onto the deck and tells him that HE didn't orchestrate that kiss -- she's got moves of her OWN. She wanted to kiss him and have him kiss her back. He says they both got what they wanted. She says she wants more. He says not tonight, not there and not like that. He walks away, saying he'll take her back to the shore.
WILDWIND
On the ugly green couch, Erica caresses Dimitri's face and tells him that she's always felt so safe with him. He says it's a difficult time for both of them and she suggests they can help each other. He says he knows her situation with Bianca has left her feeling fragile and unsure of herself. She doesn't want to talk about it. He says they can't hide in the past that they had together. She doesn't understand. He says he'll always be there for her ... as a friend for her AND Bianca. He and Alex will always open their home to her. Erica, compassionate and thoughtful person that she is, says: "Dimitri, look around you. Alex is gone." Dimitri agrees, but says when she comes back they'll resume their married life. Erica acknowledges the fact that they are married, although she can't fathom his commitment to her. Dimitri thanks her for that :-) She then says that Alex has been gone for a long time now with only that one cryptic phone call. Has it occurred to Dimitri that maybe Alex doesn't WANT him to find her?
The next time we see them, they are standing. Erica states that he's angry with her for what she said about Alex. He denies it and says he doesn't want to discuss his marriage with her. She says who better to discuss the fact that his wife has probably left him? He says her theory is way out there. Erica, caring, but firm about not being co-dependent to his misguided notions: "I don't think so." He says someone kidnapped her off the boat and is keeping her from coming home. She says she knows who it is: him and Edmund. Dimitri: "What?" She says they were at each other's throats during the weeks leading up to Alex's disappearance -- Alex pitted brother against brother! She and Edmund were engaged -- she cheated on Dimitri with his own BROTHER [tit for tat, so to speak] Dimitri has had enough and tells her it's time to go as she continues to natter on about about pushing Dimitri from the breaking point. Erica: "I mean, I was aware that she was trouble from the day I saw her, but NEVER as much as I was that night. And so I knew it was up to me to stop her before she completely destroyed you and Edmund!" Dimitri stops short at THAT revelation, pointing at her and asking what she did. Erica looks pityingly at him and sits on the ugly green couch. She confesses that she took Alex aside that night and told her that if she REALLY loved Dimitri, she would leave him and Edmund alone, in peace. Dimitri: "So you told Alex to leave me?" Erica: "***I*** just merely made a suggestion. I'm really rather surprised, given how she feels about me, that she seems to have taken it to heart." Dimitri stares, looks away, then swings his head back, biting his lip.
Dimitri is pissed now, and circles the couch for no apparent reason. Dimitri: "Erica, let me understand this. You told Alex that I would be better off WITHOUT her?" [Why is he so pissed off? It's not like Alex has ever paid attention to anything Erica ever said to her before.] Erica: "You and Edmund. Dimitri, she has been tainting everything since the day she walked into our lives. She resented me when I questioned her loyalty when she turned to Edmund when she thought you were dead." Dimitri: "But what RIGHT did you have to interfere?" Erica points to herself and says: "I was your wife -- that gave me some rights. She is also his friend. Dimitri, arms flapping and body moving like a backup go- go girl: "So you ORDERED my wife to leave town?" She says she merely SUGGESTED that Alex give Edmund and Dimitri a little space to heal the breach between them. He demands to know why she kept this from him, jabbing the air repeatedly as he pointed at her. She says it's because she didn't make the connection until now -- she thought Alex HAD been kidnapped. After all, her departure from the yacht was so abrupt! In a quintessential Erica-ism, she says: "What woman would leave town without a wardrobe, without her makeup?" Dimitri looks like he's sucking on a lemon as he shows us the size of the fish he caught as he demands to know what connection she is speaking of. She says it was the phone call -- if a woman had REALLY been kidnapped, she would have given some clues as to where to find her. In the LOD, she says: "Oh, look, Dimitri -- I hate to burst your bubble, but she's probably checked herself into some to spa for a complete overhaul, which could take MONTHS!" As he bites his lip some more [he should put something on that] she advises him to file for a divorce and get on with his life. Dimitri: "Uh-huh, the way you've gotten on with yours?" Naturally she doesn't know what he's talking about. He chuckles condescendingly and tells her to forget it. She pursues it -- after all, "Friends can tell friends anything". Dimitri: "Hey, all right! [he dips and then flings his arms out like a cheerleader] All right, let's get this clear -- Alex did not leave me because *YOU* BADGERED her into it, although I'm sure you gave it your BEST shot!" Erica: "Dimitri! What is about me that still gets to you?" He pulls his bottom lip over the top one, continuing to work that lemon in and apparently squirting some of the juice into his eyes.
He says if she REALLY wants to know, he thinks she's using Alex's disappearance to her own advantage. She says she's doing no such thing! He says he knows how she operates -- she's always working an angle. She demands to know what she could possibly gain from Alex's disappearance. He looks meaningfully at her. Susan Lucci has some great lines today as she say: "Oh, PUH-LEASE!! Does your ego know no BOUNDS?" He can't POSSIBLY imagine that she is pushing for the two of them to get back together! [Is it my imagination, or is water dripping down the castle wall? Mold maybe?] Dimitri: "Oh, you aren't?" Erica: "No, I -- I most certainly am NOT. I have come to you as a FRIEND, Dimitri!" Dimitri: "Erica, if you had said one generous word about Alex at some time I might believe you, but you haven't." Erica: "Dimitri, I've never PRETENDED to like Alex." She says she just wants to help him get get a sense of closure so he can get ON with his life! He says he'll have a sense of closure when Alex returns. She digs in that it will be so IF she CHOOSES to return. He says his wife did NOT LEAVE HIM! Erica points out that Dimitri hid himself in order to spare Alex any pain when he thought he was dying. He rightly points out that Alex is NOT dying. Erica says no, but Alex might be trying to make a clean break. He doesn't believe it. Erica says there's nothing to support his kidnapping theory -- no one has found her and there hasn't been any ransom note -- because there WAS no kidnapping. She says Alex has the background and resources to vanish without a trace. He says Alex would not do that to him -- she LOVES him. Erica suggests that perhaps Alex loves him enough to leave him alone.
Dimitri makes a tent of his hands and puts them to his mouth, then to his forehead -- he's either praying or about to have another one of his "spells". He orders Erica to leave, his driver is waiting. She tries to play the Alex leaving of her own free will card again, but he interrupts and yells: "THIS -- DISCUSSION -- IS -- OVER WITH! She stares, nods and starts to walk out. She stops, turns and tells him to at least THINK about it. IF Alex has left him, the sooner he gets over it, the better. Call her if he needs her. She leaves and he broods.
VALLEY INN - LESLIE'S ROOM
Tad kicks open the door to Leslie's room, further demonstrating the utter lack of security in the hotel. This is amply demonstrated by a side view of the door, which reveals that, although there is a knob for a dead bolt, it's just pasted onto the outside of the door without any bolt to it. Leslie is waiting, dressed in a black, extremely low-cut negligee, [revealing breasts so expansive that I wonder if they are made of a latex overlay] and posed provocatively on her side on the bed. She calmly says she's been waiting for him; why didn't he just use his key? He looks around in angry chagrin at the waiting champagne and his stuff in her room. He opens the wardrobe to see his shirts. In a daze, he picks up the wedding photo that Leslie pasted her head onto, then the perfume. Leslie takes it from him and gently sets it down, saying it's the perfume he gave her -- it has an musky animal quality to it and she'll never wear anything else. He stays silent, standing stiffly and frowning at her. She says it's was only a matter of time before Dixie found out about them -- she'll get over it. He still doesn't respond and she traces a finger slowly over his lips. She caresses his face and tells him to either say something or kiss her. He continues to stare and she falters, backing up a little. She is perplexed and wants to know why he's looking at her that way -- he's scaring her. He stares, his mouth slightly open.
She backs further away and begs him to talk to her. He breaks his silence and asks why -- she set up the whole thing, didn't she? He told Dixie point blank what happened. Leslie is thrilled with that news, but tries to repress it. She insincerely tells Tad that she's sorry. He doesn't believe that she's sorry. She says the whole thing got way too messy, and it's partly HIS fault. Leslie: "You could have made life a hell of a lot easier for all of us if you'd stopped fighting the inevitable." Tad squints and says part question/part statement "You and I belong together". She nods and says she's known it for years. He doesn't belong with Dixie, he belongs to HER. She LOVES him and wants him to love her back, PLEASE! He steps forward, caressing her bare chest and then her neck. She melts into it. His expression barely changes as he starts to squeeze. Her expression, on the other hand, is somewhat alarmed.
Tad jerks her away and yanks her back as she grunts and gasps. Tad spits out through gritted teeth: "You wouldn't listen, would you? Hmm? No. It didn't matter how many times I told you that I didn't want you, that it was a mistake, to stay away from me?" He walks forward in large strides, forcing her to march backwards. "No, no, no, you had to take my things, right?" He spins her around and pushes her head down close to the coffee table. Tad: "So you could set up this twisted fantasy, huh? HUH?" He yanks her back up, simultaneously tossing the coffee table across the room, still never letting go of her neck. She continues to gasp and squeak. Tad: "And torture my wife and ruin me and ruin my marriage. Well, guess what -- you didn't just steal my clothes or wedding ring. No, you stole my life, huh? And I'll bet it was fun for you, wasn't it? One big game. Well, guess what?" He slams her back into the wardrobe and puts his face close to hers. Tad: "Game's over, Leslie!" Whispering now: "And you lose." She's terrified now and breathes hard [well, as hard as one can with someone's hand squeezing the life out of it], closing her eyes and desperately trying to decide what to do next (or guess what HE'S going to do next).
Deciding not to antagonize him, she tells him he's crazy. He says that's high praise coming from her. He takes a running start and throws her HARD across the room and facedown onto the bed. She falls to the floor and starts whining: "I only wanted--" He says he doesn't give a damn what she wants and he never has. She eyes the phone and starts to crawl toward it. He beats her to it, yanks the phone out of the wall, then pulls is arm back as if he's going to do bodily harm to her with the phone, giving a new meaning to 'reach out and touch someone'. She scrambles back, putting her hands up and begging him not to hurt her. He tosses the phone aside and she demands to know why he's DOING this! He grabs, yanks her up and shakes her, saying: "I'm doing it for fun! The same reason you tore apart the only woman I've ever loved, someone who meant ***EVERYTHING*** to me. Leslie piteously whimpers that she loves him too, with all her heart! He lets go of her, walks over and picks up the doctored wedding photo. He shakes it at her and tells her to take a REALLY good look, because that's as close as she's ever going to get! He throws it against the wall, narrowly missing a cringing Leslie. He says from now one he's going to be living for one reason only -- to get his life back. He grabs her head on both sides and shakes it, saying she is going to help whether she likes it or NOT! She breathes heavily and gulps.
VALLEY INN - DAVID'S ROOM
Dixie stands at David's door staring at him after he answered it. He silently ushers her in. Dixie, her back to David [of course] flatly says that Tad confessed, he slept with Leslie and she (Dixie) asked him to move out. Their marriage is over. David looks at her, hesitating at her pain, then puts his hands on her and turns her around, pulling her into a comforting embrace.
The next time we see them, she's sitting on a loveseat and he's perched on an arm of the couch. Dixie is looking away and has her arms tightly crossed [which is only prudent, because if she doesn't hold on tightly, her arms are likely to pop apart from the pressure and violently fling outward, possibly causing grave damage to David's room (not to mention David]. She reiterates that Tad's moving out and their life together is over, and she really feels nothing [uh-huh]. She says she saw this couple walking across the street and they were holding hands and laughing, and she waited for her heart to break, but it didn't. She doesn't feel anything at all [uh-huh]. David says that's because she's in shock [I guess he should elevate her feet then and try to warm her up by any means necessary]. She hops up and paces -- she doesn't care what it is, but she hopes it lasts. She doesn't EVER want to feel anything again. Because feelings like love and homesickness and loneliness -- they clouded her thinking. They opened up her heart and led her right back to Tad. Feelings feed off your soul while you starve. David worriedly says maybe she should sit down. She continues and asks if he knew that Tad was a serial cheater. Dixie: "I knew that! I knew he wasn't capable of being faithful! What is more pathetic, the guy who can't keep his pants zipped or the woman who keeps forgiving him?" [can you say "Clinton"?] She remembers him cheating on her with Liza and how she went back to Pigeon Hollow, but she couldn't get him out of her system -- he was in her heart and her blood. One kiss and she was a goner -- what a SUCKER! But she needed to believe him. Then he went right back to working with Liza, but only to stick it to Adam, nothing personal. Then all those late hours and trips to New York. She KNEW he hadn't really changed -- she just didn't want to believe he would STICK IT to her AGAIN!
She sits down again, arms still tightly crossed. Dixie: "Well, then there was YOU." David: "What about me?" Dixie: "You offered me a kind of sanctuary, a place where I could escape to. You know, I could work so hard, I couldn't think about what Tad was doing or with whom. I just buried myself in your problems. You helped me to forget that my husband was a serial cheater. You helped me forget my worst fear -- what Tad was feeling for Liza or Leslie or God knows who else." She starts to tear up. "See, these little feelings, they just really destroy you, you know? They're guilty with an excuse. I don't ever want to feel anything ever again." He walks over to her and says her name, accompanied by a short but keenly defined nose-whistle. He pulls her to her feet and tells her that what she feels is what sets her apart and makes her who she is. He says she wants to be numb, but CAN'T -- tell him what's REALLY in her heart [I hear another primal scream coming on]. She stares and blinks back her tears.
David urges Dixie to tell him what's REALLY in her heart. She thinks and starts to say something a couple of times before she flatly says: "Hatred. Hatred for Tad, for Liza, for Leslie ... and for herself for being so blind in believing he loved ONLY her -- how could she be so stupid?" [and thus begins another long, long, LONG list of why people think she's stupid] David tells her she had faith in her marriage. Dixie: "My marriage was a lie. I believed it. I thought we were good. I thought we were going to make it right. I thought we were the golden couple, you know? Christmastime, you know, we wished on a star, 'together forever'. By New Year's, he had a girl on the side and I was kissing you like there was no tomorrow." She's sitting on the bed now. [As you know, soap opera law decrees that 2 people having a SERIOUS, emotionally wrenching conversation must never look at each other or stay in one place for more than a few seconds] Dixie: "Well, Tad and I failed again. How many times did I tell you how happy we were? How many times did I say how solid our relationship was, how we were in it for the long haul? And you knew, didn't you? You could tell our marriage was falling apart, but you'd let me go on and on and on. You really must think I'm the world's biggest fool!" David strides over to her and gets on his knees in front of her: "No! No! The only fool here is Tad. Only a fool would betray a woman like you, Dixie. Only a fool would give your love away!" Dixie looks down at him with bemused eyes.
Dixie tells him not to make her out to be something that she's not. David (adoringly): "You're perfection!" Dixie: "I'm not. I'm -- I'm as guilty as Tad!" She brings up the New York hotel scene where Liza pretended to be having sex with Tad and Dixie jumped to the wrong conclusion. It proved that they had serious trust issues. Tad had explained what happened, but she still doubted him. David chimes in that with everything that has happened, he thinks it's reasonable. Dixie: "But it wasn't too late back then. I could have DONE something!" He asks what she could have done. She's already admitted that Tad is a pathological cheater! She says there must have been something that he needed, maybe, something that she could have given him. David: "Dixie, I'm not going to let you blame yourself for this." Dixie: "But I AM to blame for this, you know? I could have done something right. I could have gone to a marriage counselor. I could have confided my fears to my husband. But instead I turned to YOU [you mean like you're doing now?]. And when I told Tad that I kissed you, I practically gave him PERMISSION! I practically pushed him into Leslie's bed!" He says what they did was NOT the same as having an affair. She squinches her face up in pain and quietly says that what Tad and Leslie had was more than affair -- he saw their room. Dixie: "All of his things were there. It was their special place. How many afternoons did he leave the house and lie to me about where he was going? Did he laugh at me because I made it so easy for him?" David: "Dixie, don't do this to yourself." Dixie: "How many times did he make love to her and then come home and make love to me? Did he do the same things, do you think? Do you think he said the same things, tell the same stories? Did he take his ring off and put it by the side of the bed? [why did he take it off when they took a shower? Isn't it waterproof?] The ring that I gave him, the one that I put on his finger?" She starts to crack: "Oh. There's too many pictures in my head, you know? [her eyelids start to flutter and her eyes roll up in her head] I -- I can't stop thinking about him kissing her and telling her that he loves her!" She's breaking up, her voice coming out in high- pitched squeals squeaks. Neighborhood dogs try to cover their ears. Dixie: "I can't live with these things in my head. David, you have to help me. You have to make it go away! Her fluttering eyelids could fan a wet car dry as he comes up behind her and puts his arms around her and promises that it's all going to go away -- he's going to take away her hurt and pain and do everything in his power to help her. She turns back to him, her face contorted in pain as she melts into his comforting arms.
David rubs Dixie's back and tells her she WILL survive this and he'll help her. Everything within his power is hers. She pulls back, her eyes swollen with crying. She gets a heavy-lidded look of desire on her face and pulls him close for a passionate kiss and they start to devour each other. [Gosh, I never saw THAT coming!]
VALLEY INN -- LESLIE'S ROOM, DAVID'S ROOM, HALLWAYS
Leslie, dressed now and wearing a coat, asks where they are going. He says they are going to find Dixie and she's going to tell her the truth -- that there never WAS an affair and she's been stealing his things for weeks so she could set this up. She's going to tell Dixie what HE'S been saying from the very beginning, i.e., that he doesn't care about Leslie and he never HAS. He loves ONE woman, and one woman ONLY -- and THAT is his WIFE! He grabs her arm and yanks her out the door. He drags her forcefully through the hallway, practically wrenching her arm out of the socket.
Meanwhile, Dixie and David are still devouring each other. Saxophone music starts to play. He gulps and shudders, then offers to take her home. She doesn't want to go. She wants to stay with him. She wants him to make love to her. He looks her up and down like she's the cream center in a decadent pastry.
ON THE NEXT AMC:
Mateo holds a gift-wrapped package. Liza is holding a crying, pacifier-sucking Colby as Adam and Winifred look on. They are all in their bathrobes (except Mateo, who may or may not be in his jammies -- hard to tell). Liza shrieks as she gestures to the package: "THIS was in the crib! Somebody has been in the house!"
Leslie leans seductively forward and tells Tad: "Your wife is seeking comfort from the new man in her life. If you don't believe me, call David."
David, sitting on the bed with Dixie, says: "I can't picture my life without you, Dixie, and I'll do everything I can to take away your pain!"
Irreverently submitted,
Robin "could use some holistic pain relief" Coutellier
Erica to Dimitri: "I won't apologize for needing you."
At the boathouse, Leo says to Laura and Bianca: "You never heard of a primal scream? It cleanses the soul." Laura: "Yeah, well, next time try yoga!" Leo: "Yoga's for the body, screaming is for the mind."
Dixie to Tad: "If our marriage means anything to you, you will tell me the truth! Did you sleep with Leslie Coulson?" Tad: "Yes." Dixie: "I want you to pack up your stuff and get out."
THE YACHT
Leo steps up to Laura, who is looking over the railing out to sea, and touches her arm. She jumps and he backs off, telling her to relax. The subject of Greenlee in assailant mode comes up and he insists that she wouldn't dare show her face around there again [not very bright, is he?] She asks him to show her how to do that primal scream thing he did earlier at the boathouse, since she's pretty stupid [hence her going back to high school two years after she graduated] and can't figure out what any infant knows how to do. [Why do all these people insist on hanging around damp places in freezing weather? Her sweater is open and his shirt is 1/2 unbuttoned. It's JANUARY in NEW ENGLAND in a HARBOR you IMBECILES!] After intently listening to his complicated instructions, she sucks in a big gulp of air and promptly swallows it, backing off of the therapeutic exhalation [but building a GREAT stockpile of potential burp material]. He says she can do better than that, but she glumly says that she can't. He offers to do it with her and they do so on the count of three.
Laura is pleased with her cathartic yelling. She wants to stay outside a little longer [why is she there in the first place?] to continue to chase her demons. Despite the freezing weather and her lack of proper winter attire, her nipples do NOT stand out against the silk of her blouse. She shivers and Leo comes up behind her bearing a blanket. He drapes it around her and she snuggles into it. He keeps his hands on her shoulders a little too long. They both look uncomfortable. Leo says she's had some tough breaks. She says it wasn't all bad, she has Brooke, Jamie & Aunt Pheebs -- still, the bad stuff keeps sucking her back: the fire at the SRO (single room occupancy) that killed her mom, these creeps that want to invade her life (pornographers, etc.) and then someone pushes her off a boat and she almost died -- but she refuses to let it rule her. He says she's doing a good job, but she demurs, saying she's trying to be brave. Leo clumsily hops up to sit on the railing [making me wonder if his butt got wet in the process] and says he thinks that she is used to things not working out for her, so it's safer to expect the worse. He knows how that is, but he can't do that anymore. Now he wants to think years ahead about his future, not just the coming weekend. Because of Vanessa's shallow views to reinforce his own, he used to think his destiny was to marry a wealthy woman, but now he doesn't know what he wants to do. He wishes he had some kind of talent that he could feel passionate about, like her photography. She says she does it because it's a way for her to hold onto what's real, what she thinks matters -- it's a way to stop and really look closely at people and catch them unguarded and beautiful. He says that's how he sees HER. She asks if he's kidding -- the walls she puts up around herself are higher than the ones she saw in China. He says she's wrong -- she tries hard, but she's wrong. She walks a few paces away and says she can't do this anymore because she'll start to cry.
She apologizes for being a downer. He says he lives by two rules: one, never explain, two, never apologize. Does she want to scream again? She says she doesn't need to anymore and he says to consider herself cleansed. She says he's really good at this. He glumly says he's a babe magnet for chicks in distress. She says it wasn't a slam -- she saw him with Bianca and he helped her through some rough ground. He isn't too sure about THAT. Look how things are now with Erica and Bianca. And Greenlee's a MESS. He says he should come with a label that says "Befriend at your own risk". She laughs and says not to blame himself for Greenlee's self- destruction, and Erica's problems with Bianca are Erica's loss, not his. He feels like there's something missing and he wishes he could have done something to make a difference. Laura: "I don't think so. I mean, you know that famous phrase 'It's Erica's world, we just live in it'? [she inexplicably climbs the railing and sits on it, despite having nearly drowned on Thanksgiving Eve because she can't swim] Well, Greenlee has become a planet in her own right!" He says his dear diabolical mom is the same way. He's detecting a pattern. Laura: "What? Too many toxic women?" He asks how he could shake them. She tells him to just walk away and not look back [take her advice NOW, Leo!] He's focusing on the future anyway now, right? He says he can't just erase the past. She says her theory is 'survival of the quickest' -- when the going gets rough, just hightail it and RUN. She says that's how she got away with it last time. It's how she dealt with her mom's death. It's how she got out of the porno mill. Leo: "Say what?" She realizes he didn't know and explains: Well, it's on my permanent record. I'm part of Pine Valley's folklore. I was a teenage porn princess. Yeah, you can download me on the internet." Leo: "No, that's ok. I'm not really into that stuff." She says she isn't either, but she was young and stupid. She RAN from it. She's ready to stay in one place now, though, with her family and friends. He asks if he can be on that list and she says he IS. Leo: "Well, whenever you need your soul cleansed, just let me know." He walks over to her and they kiss. [I wonder if she's going to fall overboard again due to the pressure of the kiss]
Leo pulls away and laments: "The boy does it again!" He's shameless! Her survival play is to turn and run. His is to catch and mooch. She climbs back onto the deck and tells him that HE didn't orchestrate that kiss -- she's got moves of her OWN. She wanted to kiss him and have him kiss her back. He says they both got what they wanted. She says she wants more. He says not tonight, not there and not like that. He walks away, saying he'll take her back to the shore.
WILDWIND
On the ugly green couch, Erica caresses Dimitri's face and tells him that she's always felt so safe with him. He says it's a difficult time for both of them and she suggests they can help each other. He says he knows her situation with Bianca has left her feeling fragile and unsure of herself. She doesn't want to talk about it. He says they can't hide in the past that they had together. She doesn't understand. He says he'll always be there for her ... as a friend for her AND Bianca. He and Alex will always open their home to her. Erica, compassionate and thoughtful person that she is, says: "Dimitri, look around you. Alex is gone." Dimitri agrees, but says when she comes back they'll resume their married life. Erica acknowledges the fact that they are married, although she can't fathom his commitment to her. Dimitri thanks her for that :-) She then says that Alex has been gone for a long time now with only that one cryptic phone call. Has it occurred to Dimitri that maybe Alex doesn't WANT him to find her?
The next time we see them, they are standing. Erica states that he's angry with her for what she said about Alex. He denies it and says he doesn't want to discuss his marriage with her. She says who better to discuss the fact that his wife has probably left him? He says her theory is way out there. Erica, caring, but firm about not being co-dependent to his misguided notions: "I don't think so." He says someone kidnapped her off the boat and is keeping her from coming home. She says she knows who it is: him and Edmund. Dimitri: "What?" She says they were at each other's throats during the weeks leading up to Alex's disappearance -- Alex pitted brother against brother! She and Edmund were engaged -- she cheated on Dimitri with his own BROTHER [tit for tat, so to speak] Dimitri has had enough and tells her it's time to go as she continues to natter on about about pushing Dimitri from the breaking point. Erica: "I mean, I was aware that she was trouble from the day I saw her, but NEVER as much as I was that night. And so I knew it was up to me to stop her before she completely destroyed you and Edmund!" Dimitri stops short at THAT revelation, pointing at her and asking what she did. Erica looks pityingly at him and sits on the ugly green couch. She confesses that she took Alex aside that night and told her that if she REALLY loved Dimitri, she would leave him and Edmund alone, in peace. Dimitri: "So you told Alex to leave me?" Erica: "***I*** just merely made a suggestion. I'm really rather surprised, given how she feels about me, that she seems to have taken it to heart." Dimitri stares, looks away, then swings his head back, biting his lip.
Dimitri is pissed now, and circles the couch for no apparent reason. Dimitri: "Erica, let me understand this. You told Alex that I would be better off WITHOUT her?" [Why is he so pissed off? It's not like Alex has ever paid attention to anything Erica ever said to her before.] Erica: "You and Edmund. Dimitri, she has been tainting everything since the day she walked into our lives. She resented me when I questioned her loyalty when she turned to Edmund when she thought you were dead." Dimitri: "But what RIGHT did you have to interfere?" Erica points to herself and says: "I was your wife -- that gave me some rights. She is also his friend. Dimitri, arms flapping and body moving like a backup go- go girl: "So you ORDERED my wife to leave town?" She says she merely SUGGESTED that Alex give Edmund and Dimitri a little space to heal the breach between them. He demands to know why she kept this from him, jabbing the air repeatedly as he pointed at her. She says it's because she didn't make the connection until now -- she thought Alex HAD been kidnapped. After all, her departure from the yacht was so abrupt! In a quintessential Erica-ism, she says: "What woman would leave town without a wardrobe, without her makeup?" Dimitri looks like he's sucking on a lemon as he shows us the size of the fish he caught as he demands to know what connection she is speaking of. She says it was the phone call -- if a woman had REALLY been kidnapped, she would have given some clues as to where to find her. In the LOD, she says: "Oh, look, Dimitri -- I hate to burst your bubble, but she's probably checked herself into some to spa for a complete overhaul, which could take MONTHS!" As he bites his lip some more [he should put something on that] she advises him to file for a divorce and get on with his life. Dimitri: "Uh-huh, the way you've gotten on with yours?" Naturally she doesn't know what he's talking about. He chuckles condescendingly and tells her to forget it. She pursues it -- after all, "Friends can tell friends anything". Dimitri: "Hey, all right! [he dips and then flings his arms out like a cheerleader] All right, let's get this clear -- Alex did not leave me because *YOU* BADGERED her into it, although I'm sure you gave it your BEST shot!" Erica: "Dimitri! What is about me that still gets to you?" He pulls his bottom lip over the top one, continuing to work that lemon in and apparently squirting some of the juice into his eyes.
He says if she REALLY wants to know, he thinks she's using Alex's disappearance to her own advantage. She says she's doing no such thing! He says he knows how she operates -- she's always working an angle. She demands to know what she could possibly gain from Alex's disappearance. He looks meaningfully at her. Susan Lucci has some great lines today as she say: "Oh, PUH-LEASE!! Does your ego know no BOUNDS?" He can't POSSIBLY imagine that she is pushing for the two of them to get back together! [Is it my imagination, or is water dripping down the castle wall? Mold maybe?] Dimitri: "Oh, you aren't?" Erica: "No, I -- I most certainly am NOT. I have come to you as a FRIEND, Dimitri!" Dimitri: "Erica, if you had said one generous word about Alex at some time I might believe you, but you haven't." Erica: "Dimitri, I've never PRETENDED to like Alex." She says she just wants to help him get get a sense of closure so he can get ON with his life! He says he'll have a sense of closure when Alex returns. She digs in that it will be so IF she CHOOSES to return. He says his wife did NOT LEAVE HIM! Erica points out that Dimitri hid himself in order to spare Alex any pain when he thought he was dying. He rightly points out that Alex is NOT dying. Erica says no, but Alex might be trying to make a clean break. He doesn't believe it. Erica says there's nothing to support his kidnapping theory -- no one has found her and there hasn't been any ransom note -- because there WAS no kidnapping. She says Alex has the background and resources to vanish without a trace. He says Alex would not do that to him -- she LOVES him. Erica suggests that perhaps Alex loves him enough to leave him alone.
Dimitri makes a tent of his hands and puts them to his mouth, then to his forehead -- he's either praying or about to have another one of his "spells". He orders Erica to leave, his driver is waiting. She tries to play the Alex leaving of her own free will card again, but he interrupts and yells: "THIS -- DISCUSSION -- IS -- OVER WITH! She stares, nods and starts to walk out. She stops, turns and tells him to at least THINK about it. IF Alex has left him, the sooner he gets over it, the better. Call her if he needs her. She leaves and he broods.
VALLEY INN - LESLIE'S ROOM
Tad kicks open the door to Leslie's room, further demonstrating the utter lack of security in the hotel. This is amply demonstrated by a side view of the door, which reveals that, although there is a knob for a dead bolt, it's just pasted onto the outside of the door without any bolt to it. Leslie is waiting, dressed in a black, extremely low-cut negligee, [revealing breasts so expansive that I wonder if they are made of a latex overlay] and posed provocatively on her side on the bed. She calmly says she's been waiting for him; why didn't he just use his key? He looks around in angry chagrin at the waiting champagne and his stuff in her room. He opens the wardrobe to see his shirts. In a daze, he picks up the wedding photo that Leslie pasted her head onto, then the perfume. Leslie takes it from him and gently sets it down, saying it's the perfume he gave her -- it has an musky animal quality to it and she'll never wear anything else. He stays silent, standing stiffly and frowning at her. She says it's was only a matter of time before Dixie found out about them -- she'll get over it. He still doesn't respond and she traces a finger slowly over his lips. She caresses his face and tells him to either say something or kiss her. He continues to stare and she falters, backing up a little. She is perplexed and wants to know why he's looking at her that way -- he's scaring her. He stares, his mouth slightly open.
She backs further away and begs him to talk to her. He breaks his silence and asks why -- she set up the whole thing, didn't she? He told Dixie point blank what happened. Leslie is thrilled with that news, but tries to repress it. She insincerely tells Tad that she's sorry. He doesn't believe that she's sorry. She says the whole thing got way too messy, and it's partly HIS fault. Leslie: "You could have made life a hell of a lot easier for all of us if you'd stopped fighting the inevitable." Tad squints and says part question/part statement "You and I belong together". She nods and says she's known it for years. He doesn't belong with Dixie, he belongs to HER. She LOVES him and wants him to love her back, PLEASE! He steps forward, caressing her bare chest and then her neck. She melts into it. His expression barely changes as he starts to squeeze. Her expression, on the other hand, is somewhat alarmed.
Tad jerks her away and yanks her back as she grunts and gasps. Tad spits out through gritted teeth: "You wouldn't listen, would you? Hmm? No. It didn't matter how many times I told you that I didn't want you, that it was a mistake, to stay away from me?" He walks forward in large strides, forcing her to march backwards. "No, no, no, you had to take my things, right?" He spins her around and pushes her head down close to the coffee table. Tad: "So you could set up this twisted fantasy, huh? HUH?" He yanks her back up, simultaneously tossing the coffee table across the room, still never letting go of her neck. She continues to gasp and squeak. Tad: "And torture my wife and ruin me and ruin my marriage. Well, guess what -- you didn't just steal my clothes or wedding ring. No, you stole my life, huh? And I'll bet it was fun for you, wasn't it? One big game. Well, guess what?" He slams her back into the wardrobe and puts his face close to hers. Tad: "Game's over, Leslie!" Whispering now: "And you lose." She's terrified now and breathes hard [well, as hard as one can with someone's hand squeezing the life out of it], closing her eyes and desperately trying to decide what to do next (or guess what HE'S going to do next).
Deciding not to antagonize him, she tells him he's crazy. He says that's high praise coming from her. He takes a running start and throws her HARD across the room and facedown onto the bed. She falls to the floor and starts whining: "I only wanted--" He says he doesn't give a damn what she wants and he never has. She eyes the phone and starts to crawl toward it. He beats her to it, yanks the phone out of the wall, then pulls is arm back as if he's going to do bodily harm to her with the phone, giving a new meaning to 'reach out and touch someone'. She scrambles back, putting her hands up and begging him not to hurt her. He tosses the phone aside and she demands to know why he's DOING this! He grabs, yanks her up and shakes her, saying: "I'm doing it for fun! The same reason you tore apart the only woman I've ever loved, someone who meant ***EVERYTHING*** to me. Leslie piteously whimpers that she loves him too, with all her heart! He lets go of her, walks over and picks up the doctored wedding photo. He shakes it at her and tells her to take a REALLY good look, because that's as close as she's ever going to get! He throws it against the wall, narrowly missing a cringing Leslie. He says from now one he's going to be living for one reason only -- to get his life back. He grabs her head on both sides and shakes it, saying she is going to help whether she likes it or NOT! She breathes heavily and gulps.
VALLEY INN - DAVID'S ROOM
Dixie stands at David's door staring at him after he answered it. He silently ushers her in. Dixie, her back to David [of course] flatly says that Tad confessed, he slept with Leslie and she (Dixie) asked him to move out. Their marriage is over. David looks at her, hesitating at her pain, then puts his hands on her and turns her around, pulling her into a comforting embrace.
The next time we see them, she's sitting on a loveseat and he's perched on an arm of the couch. Dixie is looking away and has her arms tightly crossed [which is only prudent, because if she doesn't hold on tightly, her arms are likely to pop apart from the pressure and violently fling outward, possibly causing grave damage to David's room (not to mention David]. She reiterates that Tad's moving out and their life together is over, and she really feels nothing [uh-huh]. She says she saw this couple walking across the street and they were holding hands and laughing, and she waited for her heart to break, but it didn't. She doesn't feel anything at all [uh-huh]. David says that's because she's in shock [I guess he should elevate her feet then and try to warm her up by any means necessary]. She hops up and paces -- she doesn't care what it is, but she hopes it lasts. She doesn't EVER want to feel anything again. Because feelings like love and homesickness and loneliness -- they clouded her thinking. They opened up her heart and led her right back to Tad. Feelings feed off your soul while you starve. David worriedly says maybe she should sit down. She continues and asks if he knew that Tad was a serial cheater. Dixie: "I knew that! I knew he wasn't capable of being faithful! What is more pathetic, the guy who can't keep his pants zipped or the woman who keeps forgiving him?" [can you say "Clinton"?] She remembers him cheating on her with Liza and how she went back to Pigeon Hollow, but she couldn't get him out of her system -- he was in her heart and her blood. One kiss and she was a goner -- what a SUCKER! But she needed to believe him. Then he went right back to working with Liza, but only to stick it to Adam, nothing personal. Then all those late hours and trips to New York. She KNEW he hadn't really changed -- she just didn't want to believe he would STICK IT to her AGAIN!
She sits down again, arms still tightly crossed. Dixie: "Well, then there was YOU." David: "What about me?" Dixie: "You offered me a kind of sanctuary, a place where I could escape to. You know, I could work so hard, I couldn't think about what Tad was doing or with whom. I just buried myself in your problems. You helped me to forget that my husband was a serial cheater. You helped me forget my worst fear -- what Tad was feeling for Liza or Leslie or God knows who else." She starts to tear up. "See, these little feelings, they just really destroy you, you know? They're guilty with an excuse. I don't ever want to feel anything ever again." He walks over to her and says her name, accompanied by a short but keenly defined nose-whistle. He pulls her to her feet and tells her that what she feels is what sets her apart and makes her who she is. He says she wants to be numb, but CAN'T -- tell him what's REALLY in her heart [I hear another primal scream coming on]. She stares and blinks back her tears.
David urges Dixie to tell him what's REALLY in her heart. She thinks and starts to say something a couple of times before she flatly says: "Hatred. Hatred for Tad, for Liza, for Leslie ... and for herself for being so blind in believing he loved ONLY her -- how could she be so stupid?" [and thus begins another long, long, LONG list of why people think she's stupid] David tells her she had faith in her marriage. Dixie: "My marriage was a lie. I believed it. I thought we were good. I thought we were going to make it right. I thought we were the golden couple, you know? Christmastime, you know, we wished on a star, 'together forever'. By New Year's, he had a girl on the side and I was kissing you like there was no tomorrow." She's sitting on the bed now. [As you know, soap opera law decrees that 2 people having a SERIOUS, emotionally wrenching conversation must never look at each other or stay in one place for more than a few seconds] Dixie: "Well, Tad and I failed again. How many times did I tell you how happy we were? How many times did I say how solid our relationship was, how we were in it for the long haul? And you knew, didn't you? You could tell our marriage was falling apart, but you'd let me go on and on and on. You really must think I'm the world's biggest fool!" David strides over to her and gets on his knees in front of her: "No! No! The only fool here is Tad. Only a fool would betray a woman like you, Dixie. Only a fool would give your love away!" Dixie looks down at him with bemused eyes.
Dixie tells him not to make her out to be something that she's not. David (adoringly): "You're perfection!" Dixie: "I'm not. I'm -- I'm as guilty as Tad!" She brings up the New York hotel scene where Liza pretended to be having sex with Tad and Dixie jumped to the wrong conclusion. It proved that they had serious trust issues. Tad had explained what happened, but she still doubted him. David chimes in that with everything that has happened, he thinks it's reasonable. Dixie: "But it wasn't too late back then. I could have DONE something!" He asks what she could have done. She's already admitted that Tad is a pathological cheater! She says there must have been something that he needed, maybe, something that she could have given him. David: "Dixie, I'm not going to let you blame yourself for this." Dixie: "But I AM to blame for this, you know? I could have done something right. I could have gone to a marriage counselor. I could have confided my fears to my husband. But instead I turned to YOU [you mean like you're doing now?]. And when I told Tad that I kissed you, I practically gave him PERMISSION! I practically pushed him into Leslie's bed!" He says what they did was NOT the same as having an affair. She squinches her face up in pain and quietly says that what Tad and Leslie had was more than affair -- he saw their room. Dixie: "All of his things were there. It was their special place. How many afternoons did he leave the house and lie to me about where he was going? Did he laugh at me because I made it so easy for him?" David: "Dixie, don't do this to yourself." Dixie: "How many times did he make love to her and then come home and make love to me? Did he do the same things, do you think? Do you think he said the same things, tell the same stories? Did he take his ring off and put it by the side of the bed? [why did he take it off when they took a shower? Isn't it waterproof?] The ring that I gave him, the one that I put on his finger?" She starts to crack: "Oh. There's too many pictures in my head, you know? [her eyelids start to flutter and her eyes roll up in her head] I -- I can't stop thinking about him kissing her and telling her that he loves her!" She's breaking up, her voice coming out in high- pitched squeals squeaks. Neighborhood dogs try to cover their ears. Dixie: "I can't live with these things in my head. David, you have to help me. You have to make it go away! Her fluttering eyelids could fan a wet car dry as he comes up behind her and puts his arms around her and promises that it's all going to go away -- he's going to take away her hurt and pain and do everything in his power to help her. She turns back to him, her face contorted in pain as she melts into his comforting arms.
David rubs Dixie's back and tells her she WILL survive this and he'll help her. Everything within his power is hers. She pulls back, her eyes swollen with crying. She gets a heavy-lidded look of desire on her face and pulls him close for a passionate kiss and they start to devour each other. [Gosh, I never saw THAT coming!]
VALLEY INN -- LESLIE'S ROOM, DAVID'S ROOM, HALLWAYS
Leslie, dressed now and wearing a coat, asks where they are going. He says they are going to find Dixie and she's going to tell her the truth -- that there never WAS an affair and she's been stealing his things for weeks so she could set this up. She's going to tell Dixie what HE'S been saying from the very beginning, i.e., that he doesn't care about Leslie and he never HAS. He loves ONE woman, and one woman ONLY -- and THAT is his WIFE! He grabs her arm and yanks her out the door. He drags her forcefully through the hallway, practically wrenching her arm out of the socket.
Meanwhile, Dixie and David are still devouring each other. Saxophone music starts to play. He gulps and shudders, then offers to take her home. She doesn't want to go. She wants to stay with him. She wants him to make love to her. He looks her up and down like she's the cream center in a decadent pastry.
ON THE NEXT AMC:
Mateo holds a gift-wrapped package. Liza is holding a crying, pacifier-sucking Colby as Adam and Winifred look on. They are all in their bathrobes (except Mateo, who may or may not be in his jammies -- hard to tell). Liza shrieks as she gestures to the package: "THIS was in the crib! Somebody has been in the house!"
Leslie leans seductively forward and tells Tad: "Your wife is seeking comfort from the new man in her life. If you don't believe me, call David."
David, sitting on the bed with Dixie, says: "I can't picture my life without you, Dixie, and I'll do everything I can to take away your pain!"
Irreverently submitted,
Robin "could use some holistic pain relief" Coutellier
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