[Another non-proofed update, but at least I managed to get it out by Sunday night :-)]
Previously on All My Children
Edmund pounds a punching bag in fury, bloodying his hands as he remembers his stepfather, Alf refereeing the he and Dimitri (as young boys) in a fight: "The winner, and still champion, Dimitri!"
Rain wheedles Bianca into cutting her first day at school: "School's not going to miss you for one day, Bianca. Suppose you had an adventure instead.
Greenlee begs Leo to hurry climbing a rope out of the elevator: "Leo! Leo, hurry up! The cable's snapping! Leo!"
PINE VALLEY MALL
Rain and Bianca have been panhandling at the mall. Bianca spies Erica and Opal coming out of Lacy's and panics. Rain thinks fast and they duck into Lacy's. Erica is depressed about Bianca, and her heart just isn't in the shopping anymore. Her original intention was to buy a new wardrobe for Bianca, but she now realizes that it might not be a good move, since she's likely to dress Bianca like she's 6, not 16. Opal agrees it's a wise choice, then gets sidetracked by Halloween display back at Lacy's because Petey wants a particular kind of (chicken) mask. As they look over the display, Bianca and Rain try to sneak out, wearing monster masks (Bianca is also wearing a black cape wrapped around herself) and carrying a pumpkin pail. Opal thinks they work there and tries to enlist their help. Rain once again thinks fast and says no, they are collecting money for the PV Community Center Fund. Chumps that they are, Opal and Erica dig deep and toss $16 into the pumpkin. Erica offers advice on different costumes for them, since the ones they are wearing are likely to scare away the boys. Opal drags her off and tells her not to take out her frustration with Bianca on half the teenage population of PV. Bianca apologizes for her mother's comments, but Rain brushes it off as Erica being from a whole different scene. Rain is jazzed about the haul and offers to take the costume off Bianca's hands, assuming Bianca was now going to leave to avoid her mother. Rain is surprised to hear Bianca say she'd rather stay -- she has all afternoon! They grin.
Later on, they skip back into the food court. Rain is excited about the nearly $30 she's collected. Rain spies another pigeon and tells Bianca to hide her purse and put her head on the table. Rain rushes up to someone and says someone stole Bianca's purse with all her money AND her insulin -- they need money right away for a cab so she can go home and shoot up. Bianca puts on a pitiful face and turns to the pigeon, only to discover that it's Jack who is wearing his patented "Oh REALLY?" face. Her eyes grow big as she meekly says, "Hi, Uncle Jack." He wants to know 1) why she isn't in school, 2) when did she get robbed, and 3) how is it that she's suddenly developed diabetes?
CHURCH OF THE GOOD COLLIE
Edmund sits in a pew and remembers he and Alex in the church discussing their upcoming nuptials and how worthy their love was. Then he remembers a flustered (and very pregnant) Alex trying to explain her reunion with Dimitri, as Edmund notices she is no longer wearing his engagement ring. Reverend Taylor interrupts his reverie. He has such a deep, loud voice that both Edmund AND I jumped :-) He notes that Edmund is troubled and offers an ear, but mentioning that some workers are coming soon to knock down a wall. Edmund declines and they go their separate ways. Edmund gets as far as some orange curtains when he hears Alex and Dimitri entering the opposite side of the church. They are laughing and talking about renewing their wedding vows. He hears Alex tell Dimitri that they can't renew their vows at Wildwind, that's for sure. It would be too hard on Edmund.
Dimitri is upset -- he can't stop thinking about Edmund (who is leaning his head up against the curtain now). Alex sighs that she is too. They rehash Edmund's pretense of normality when they know he's suffering. Dimitri says it's hard on everyone -- he's happy, he's healthy and he's with the woman he loves. He wants to shout it out from the rooftops, but he can't share it with anyone. Alex: "Because of Edmund. I know." Dimitri: "Can't share it with anyone." Alex: "You can share it with me." Edmund is now looking heavenward [there's a crimp in the curtain that's really bugging me]. Dimitri loudly kisses Alex. She says that, when the time is right, they can be more open about their love for each other [dream ON!] Edmund once again flashes back to Alf tormenting him over the punching bag: "Come on! What was that, a wisp of wind? You barely made contact! Not like Master Dimitri. THAT boy could take you down without breaking a sweat! Bad enough he's Lord of the Manor! You want what he's got, you've got to suck it up and TAKE IT! (singsong) Oh, cry, baby, cry-eye, winker in your eye-eye! [huh?] Come on, boy, show me what you've got! Who's the REAL man around here? Is Dimitri your lord and master?" Edmund has had enough of his reveries and Dimitri and Alex. He turns to leave and discovers that the door next to the curtain is locked. Naturally he rattles it back and forth, making all kinds of noise. Dimitri and Alex wonder if someone is there and start to walk over and investigate. Edmund notices the construction stuff around him and zeroes in on a nasty mallet. He hears Alf yelling at him to "take the challenge and give him what for!"
Edmund turns and gives a calculating look to whatever is on the other side of the curtain. Alex says she doesn't think there's anyone there. Dimitri agrees he was probably just hearing things [if someone is rattling a door trying to get it open, you'd think people a few feet away could figure that out -- and these people outwitted the Bryn Wydd Bastile, not to mention worked for it?] Alex even says Dimitri was there before and Dimitri says: "Hiding in the shadows ..." [How dimwitted ARE these people?] It was when Edmund and Alex said they loved each other. Dimitri says it was very painful for him [not as painful as it's ABOUT to be]. Edmund's nostrils flare. They bill and coo and touch, saying how much they love each other ... always. They kiss and Edmund grips the mallet so heard that a pop is heard and a new bloodstain suddenly appears on the bandaged back of his hand. He grimaces HARD and stares back at the curtain, working his hands on the mallet with the practiced hand of someone who has done a considerable amount of masturbating over the last few years.
Alex and Dimitri continue to kiss. With great difficulty, Edmund pries his hand off the business end of the mallet and leans back. Alex breaks suction and says she's changed her mind -- they'll have to find somewhere else to renew their vows. They caress each other and more lovey-dovey talk ensues. They hold hands and skip out. Edmund slowly pulls the curtain aside [why didn't he just step around it?] and lifts his head back to contemplate how close he came to starring in his own horror movie. Then he hears Alf taunting him again. As he stares at the wall, Alf's image appears (presumably this is the wall that's about to be knocked down). Edmund stares at it. A commercial about feminine itching appears.
PINE VALLEY INN
Paul is herding people out of the lobby, assuring them that everything is under control. Greenlee runs up in her now-filthy, 3-sizes-too-small blouse and breathlessly asks if he's all right -- did he survive? Paul has no idea what she's talking about. "Leo!" she screams, "Leo Du Pres!" Apparently the cable finally DID snap and the elevator fell. A fireman comes up and explains this to Paul and says they pulled Greenlee out just in time. Greenlee frantically says that Leo was in the elevator, but he was holding the rope when it fell -- she could hear him screaming! Woody runs up and hugs her. In a tiny voice, she says Wade was going to kill her! Woody says he knows -- he called and demanded a ransom, and Woody TOLD Millicent that he wasn't bluffing. Greenlee explains the means of her getaway (Leo) and the ensuing elevator catastrophe. Paul rushes over and assures Woody that they had put that elevator out of service. [2 things: Why does such an upscale hotel still have a cabled elevator instead of a safer, hydraulic one? How can the PVI get away with having a cable that's SHREDDED? Don't they have elevator inspections?] Greenlee keeps sniveling about Leo and yet another fireman tells Woody that they pulled Greenlee out of the elevator and then it hit basement level, whereupon it collapsed in on itself. Greenlee begs for news of Leo, then cries that she has to go to him -- she CAN'T lose him! Just then, Leo limps in, assisted by a Gillian lookalike and winces in pain as Greenlee launches herself into his arms, THRILLED that he is alive. Then she says she ought to KILL him!
Leo disentangles himself from her and says his entire body, except for his nostrils, is in complete agony! He teeters over to collapse in a chair. Greenlee wants to know what happened, then notices the woman with him and asks who SHE is. He wants to know which is more important to her :-) He explains that the elevator only went a few floors and then stopped at the 5th floor. [Then how did they pull Greenlee out just before it hit the basement level?] He started screaming like a big ole baby and then his magnificent guardian angel in shining armor rescued him, prying open the doors with a metal trash can and pulling him out just before the elevator fell again. Woody thanks her and she says the hard part was helping him down 4 flights of stairs [haven't they heard of a telephone?]. Greenlee gives her an extremely insincere thanks and tells her she can take it from here -- she can go now :-) She gives the evil eye to the guardian angel, who tells her that, whatever Greenlee is thinking, all Leo talked about down those 4 flights was getting to Greenlee.
[Tad and Dixie went to the Honeymoon Suite -- did they have to climb 20 flights of stairs to get to it?]
Later on, Leo stands and he and Greenlee lovingly hug. [Why haven't they been checked out by paramedics yet?] Woody beams and says that's the first time he's seen Greenlee really smile in weeks! He and the woman (Victoria) smile and she says Leo is looking a lot better, too. She chides them BOTH to keep their feet on the ground. Leo says he owes her one and thanks her. Greenlee, still plastered to Leo, squints and snaps "Me too." Her look clearly says "One step closer and DIE! Scram, you She-Devil!" Victoria makes a hasty exit.
Greenlee walks over to Woody and apologizes for dragging him into it. He questions her on why he didn't know anything and they tell him they were trying to protect him because of his heart condition. Woody says: "You ARE my heart, Greenlee." Leo asks why he knew to come to the PVI, and he says that Wade told him to bring the money to the boathouse. He said he would if Wade told him where Greenlee was. Wade agreed. Greenlee sadly points out that Wade expected Woody to find her dead at the bottom of an elevator shaft. Rather than sit down or stay in one place, Leo limps about 10' to the other side of Woody and asks to borrow his cell phone to call Lt. Frye so some cops can get to the boathouse and catch Wade before he takes off with Woody's money. Woody doesn't care about the money. Leo takes the phone and limps even farther away.
Paul, the sycophant who is unable to pry his lips off of Woody's ass for more than a couple of minutes at a time, asks if he can get them anything. Woody demurs, and Greenlee requests Wade Randall's head on a stick. Woody gets upset at the thought of Greenlee's near-death experience and Greenlee soothes him, saying she survived. Greenlee says they have her young man to thank for that. She agrees and says that, instead, she accused him of being a disloyal skirt- chaser. Greenlee: "Why can't I learn? I'm like one of those people with that swearing disease. I just can't stop myself!" He says it sounds like she's falling for Leo. She says it's more like falling WITH him -- about 10 flights! He wonders if getting into a relationship with Leo is in her best interests. She says Leo has rescued her countless times and Woody wonders why she keeps needing to be rescued. She says she's working on being more self-sufficient. They notice that Leo hasn't come back from making his phone call. (see THE BOATHOUSE below)
THE BOATHOUSE
Wade, holding a gun in firing position, scopes out the boathouse, cautiously stepping into it. He goes to a locker and finds the briefcase full of money. Leo creeps up behind him and snags the gun from the docking post, aims it at Wade and asks if he has change for a $20 :-) Wade turns partway and carefully holds up the briefcase in offering. He also pulls up a life jacket in his other hand (which Leo REALLY should have seen since it was done so slowly and obviously). Naturally, he whaps Leo in the head with it a couple of times. They scuffle and the gun skitters off to the side. As Wade bends to pick it up, Leo grabs a pole and thwaps his hands with it. They scuffle some more, turning in circles [which reveals that Wade has a REALLY nice ass]. Leo manages to jab the pole into Wade's belly and Wade falls to the convenient boathouse bench, holding the pole as if he's been impaled. Leo backs up, but leaves the pole with Wade [idiot!].
Leo taunts him about going to prison as Wade grips the pole and grunts in pain. He's faking, of course. He slowly pulls the pole outward to show Leo that he wasn't REALLY impaled, then lunges at Leo with the pole. Leo, miraculously recovered from his elevator shaft experience, nimbly leaves into the canoe, then out of it again, with nary a wobble. Leo dances over to grab another pole, then dances back again whereupon the joust (parry, parry, thrust, thrust ...). Wades gets the upper hand and knocks Leo down. Leo scrambles back up, but now Wade has the gun again. Leo steps backward in the sunlight [whereupon I notice he has really shiny shoes] and around to the other side. He drops the pole and puts his hands up in surrender as Wade stalks him and then orders him down to his knees. Leo says they can talk about this. [I notice that the back of his shirt is REMARKABLY wrinkle-free, all things considered] He nevertheless gets down on his knees with his back to Wade. Actually, he's on all fours. Wade turns the gun in his hands and pulls it back to slam it into the back of Leo's head. Leo is too quick, though, and slams backward with a paddle, knocking Wade down. Leo jumps to his feet and slams the paddle down on Wade so hard that the paddle breaks, apparently knocking Wade out.
Leo slumps to the floor, breathing heavily, his cheeks rosily flushed, giving the camera a buffalo shot [but it's too dark to really see anything]. He remembers telling Woody that he wanted to borrow his phone to call Lt. Frye. Then he takes the cell phone out of his pants and finally makes his call. He tells Derek that he's at the PVI, but thought Derek should know that Wade is probably at the boathouse. Wade is facedown on the pier. Still breathing hard, he gets up and walks over to the locker to pick up the briefcase full of money. He takes out a wad and stuffs it in his shirt pocket [Is he NUTS? Oh yeah, NO ONE will notice a huge wad of money flapping out of his shirt pocket!] He grabs the briefcase and ducks out.
PINE VALLEY INN
Greenlee and Woody chitchat about Derek being on his way to the boathouse to pick up Wade and the money, and her having finished giving her statement to the officers on the scene. They once again wonder where Leo has gone. Greenlee frets that Wade might have come back and taken Leo hostage. Woody says maybe Leo is fine and standing right behind her. She turns and rushes into Leos arms as he smiles beatifically. Then she backs up and hits him in the chest with both hands for scaring her like that. (The money is now at least folded over in his pocket) He swears he wasn't with Victoria as he rubs the sore spot where she hit him. She contritely says she knows that. She fills him in on Derek's new mission and says they need to give their statements -- is that where Leo was (giving his statement). He sheepishly says he was feeling a little shaky and had gone up to his mother's room to rest. She points out that there is a problem with the elevator and he says he took the service one. It's hard to say if she believes him or not, but he says he's feeling a LOT better, and they hug.
He suggests they celebrate surviving with a bottle of bubbly. He says he'll find a waiter and take care of it, then find her in a little bit. He stops a nearby waiter that he knows (Drew), chats him up briefly, then orders the champagne. The waiter knows him and scoffs, saying he can't put it on his mother's tab. Leo says he's paying cash tonight. Drew doesn't believe him and starts to walk away, but Leo stops him and flashes the wad of $100s. He counts off 3 of them and asks if that will cover it. Drew says it will and Leo tells him to keep the change. Leo turns back and beams (presumably at Greenlee and/or Woody).
ERICA'S HOUSE
Erica and Opal walk in with shopping bags [they met at the mall -- why is Opal bringing her bags into Erica's house?] Opal tells her to cheer up. Erica's is bummed because she couldn't find that jacket that Bianca wanted. Opal suggests Coral can make some brownies for Bianca, but Erica says SHE wants to do something special for Bianca, and she doesn't bake! Then she notices boxes in the living room -- the airline has FINALLY sent the rest of Bianca's things! Erica is thrilled because now Bianca will be happy! Opal suggests they unpack so that when Bianca gets hom, her room will be full of all her favorite things. The first thing they find are Bianca's journals. Erica realizes that, by reading the journals, she can find out more about Bianca and more about the boy who broke her heart. Opal chides her that that is rule numeral uno in the the parent/child handbook -- a parent NEVER looks in his child's drawers or journals or email -- it is VERBOTEN -- it's an invasion of privacy! Erica protests, but Opal takes the journals and puts them back in the boxes, saying BIANCA should unpack them, ESPECIALLY her journals.
Opal is going through her shopping bags and nattering on about Enchantment's new Mint Spa Mask. Erica is fondling one of Bianca's journal. Just as she's about to open it, Opal calls her name. [I just now notice that Opal is wearing an elegant suit in a fetching Gateway cow pattern] Opal reminds her that she cannot read the journals. Erica still thinks they will help her understand Bianca and then gets the bright idea that, while SHE can't read them, OPAL can! Opal refuses and tells her to back off of Bianca and chill out. Erica sullenly listens. Opal leaves to make a pot of tea, but stops to remind her not to touch the journals. Like a moth to a flame, Erica sidles over to them the second Opal leaves the room. She remembers Jack telling her about the possible romance with a boy in rehab; she lunges for the top journal and opens it. It JUST happens to be the one Bianca wrote while in rehab. Bianca's voice: "Going home soon. It's weird. I couldn't wait to leave when I first got here, but now I don't want to. And not because I'm afraid. I feel really good about my recovery, but something happened here, something I can't even put into words or write about. But I have to face it so I can face my life again." Erica: "Oh, my poor baby. What happened?"
Erica gives a quick reconnaissance glance over her shoulder before continuing with the journal. Bianca's voice: "Somehow I have to try to put my feelings into words. My counselor says that's the beginning of understanding myself better. So here goes. It started when I was assigned to a new therapy group--" Opal walks into the room with a tray of tea fixings and startles Erica by asking what she's doing. Before she can answer, they hear a noise at the front door and Erica quickly snaps the journal shut and holds it behind her. Jack and Bianca walk in. Bianca looks like a condemned prisoner as Erica asks why she's home from school so early. Jack says he found her at the mall and orders Bianca to explain. Bianca insolently says she didn't go to school, she was at the mall. Erica: "You cut school to go shopping?" Jack, looking upward toward the 2nd floor windows and leaning back like he's trying to do the limbo: "Ohhhhh, she did a little bit more than SHOP, didn't you?" Bianca says she was with a friend. Is is someone Erica knows? Jack looking wryly downward now and scratching/tugging his ear: "Oh, I doubt it -- she's a young panhandler." Erica is shocked that Bianca would get mixed up with trash like that! Predictably, Bianca lashes out at Erica for being a snob and says they were just goofing off! Erica wants to know if expecting her to be in school not hang around with panhandlers makes her a snob. The light dawns on Erica and she realizes that the masked girls at the mall were really Bianca and "that stormy girl". Bianca corrects her and says the girl's name is "Rain". Erica doesn't CARE what her name is! Wait a minute -- they were collecting money for the Center. What did they do with the money? Bianca: " " Erica is very disappointed and says that was a VERY low thing to do. Bianca sneers that she'll make it up to the Center. Erica thinks that's a start -- but how is Bianca make it up to HER? She angrily talks about not being able to trust Bianca and says she WONT'T STAND FOR IT! Then SLAMS Bianca's journal onto the table. Bianca is horrified that Erica had her journal.
Undaunted, Erica admits they are Bianca's journals -- the airline sent them and she thought it would be nice if she unpacked the boxes for her. She and Opal thought it would be nice for her to find her things in her room when she returned home from SCHOOL. Instead, Bianca chose to cut school and spend the afternoon with a juvenile delinquent. [Why was Bianca having brunch with Erica at the PVI? Shouldn't she have ALREADY been at school?] That won't happen again, though -- from now on Erica plans to drive Bianca to school and pick her up again in the afternoon (Jack looks away and raises his eyebrows), and then Erica will drive her to Enchantment [Amazing! Erica actually remembers she has a business to run!] where she can do her homework and help Erica in the office. Bianca says it's COMPLETELY unfair. Erica says it's not up for discussion -- Bianca has exactly ONE semester to make it up to Erica and rebuild her trust -- after that, whatever happens is up to Bianca. Bianca turns and pleads to Jack for assistance, but he shakes his head and says she brought it on herself. Erica banishes Bianca to her room and says Jack will bring the boxes up when he returns later on. Bianca starts to leave, but stops and asks if Erica read her journals. Erica looks at her and feigns innocence.
[Frankly, I'm on Erica's side here. The punishment is not going to work, because it's too smothering, but I once banned my son from watching TV for 6 months (that didn't work, either). Any parent who has discovered that their child has cut school is tempted to not only take away all their privileges and watch them like a hawk, they're even tempted to sit in class and WATCH them! That's not practical and it's a major imposition on your OWN time, but that's the first inclination, IMO. There is also that embarrassed feeling, whether we like to admit it or not, that our child has made a fool of us.]
Erica stares a Bianca in disbelief: "Do you HONESTLY believe that I would read your PRIVATE journals?" [Bitch!] "Is THAT what you THINK of me?" Ashamed, Bianca says "Never mind, forget I asked, ok?" She rushes out of the room, journals in hand. Opal's arms are crossed as she sternly and disapprovingly looks at Erica. Erica thanks Jack for his support and he says he didn't much like being on the receiving end of a con job and seeing his niece on the other end of it [I notice he's wearing a boldly checked black & white tie]. Erica worries that she was too strict. More thanks ensue and he leaves. Erica plops [yes, PLOPS] into a chair that seems exceptionally wide for a single-width chair, making her look even tinier. As Erica ruminates that it's always SOMETHING, Opal continues to give her "the look". [I keep getting distracted by the stem with a couple of rosebuds that arc about a foot off to the side of Opal's hat] Opal knowingly says that it's a good thing Erica didn't read those journals or else that breach-of-trust speech she just gave Bianca would come right back and smack her in the face. Erica looks away guiltily, then defiantly looks back.
Bianca slowly walks into her room and shuts the door. She looks upward and, out loud, says: "I know that my words have power and that I should be brave enough to own up to them. But I can't EVER let my mother read this!" She opens the top journal and start desperately ripping out the pages, looking like her face is going to implode.
PINE VALLEY MALL
Alex and Dimitri are strolling through the mall. Dimitri questions her sudden urge to go shopping. She says it's not that -- she just wants to spend a pleasant afternoon like nice normal people. She suggests they go see a movie. They lapse into fake British accents (which is saying something for a British person) and joke about popcorn and making out at the cinema. They stand near a tree with leaves that are blazingly fall-colored, despite it being an indoor mall tree that doesn't know any better. Then she wants them to take goofy pictures together in the photo booth. He teases that she could NEVER take a goofy picture. She whines that she just wants to have some fun and not have to tiptoe around. He asks if she wants to forget about the world and she says yes. Carefree, Dimitri loudly says: "Goodbye world!" [He should REALLY be careful about saying THAT, all things considered] She does the same and they stroll way laughing and joking about the Halloween display. The camera pans in on a particularly gruesome mask, which fades to an image of Alf. [Wow, you can get ANYTHING at the mall, these days!]
Now Alf is standing in front of Edmund (as opposed to being welded to the wall), challenging Edmund and saying he is all grown up and dressed for success. Alf taunts him, saying it's all for show. He thought Edmund had finally gotten some backbone when he grabbed the mallet, but, as usual, he can't follow through. Edmund shakes his head and turns, wobbling and flailing, trying to banish the image of Alf, rubbing his eyes and grunting. Alf yells that he's still there, startling Edmund who turns back to him. Alf says he can help Edmund find the courage and spine to take on Master Dimitri and WIN!
On the next AMC:
Greenlee and Leo are sitting in a large bubble bath. Greenlee: "I am exquisitely happy!"
At Wildwind, Dimitri calmly says to Edmund: "I am as ready as you are." Edmund: "For what?" Dimitri: "That's your call."
As Gillian looks on, Leslie comes up and puts her arm in Ryan's and says: "Are you ready for dinner?"
Irreverently submitted,
Robin "Mmmmm ... bubble bath ... Leo ... mmmmmm ..." Coutellier
Previously on All My Children
Edmund pounds a punching bag in fury, bloodying his hands as he remembers his stepfather, Alf refereeing the he and Dimitri (as young boys) in a fight: "The winner, and still champion, Dimitri!"
Rain wheedles Bianca into cutting her first day at school: "School's not going to miss you for one day, Bianca. Suppose you had an adventure instead.
Greenlee begs Leo to hurry climbing a rope out of the elevator: "Leo! Leo, hurry up! The cable's snapping! Leo!"
PINE VALLEY MALL
Rain and Bianca have been panhandling at the mall. Bianca spies Erica and Opal coming out of Lacy's and panics. Rain thinks fast and they duck into Lacy's. Erica is depressed about Bianca, and her heart just isn't in the shopping anymore. Her original intention was to buy a new wardrobe for Bianca, but she now realizes that it might not be a good move, since she's likely to dress Bianca like she's 6, not 16. Opal agrees it's a wise choice, then gets sidetracked by Halloween display back at Lacy's because Petey wants a particular kind of (chicken) mask. As they look over the display, Bianca and Rain try to sneak out, wearing monster masks (Bianca is also wearing a black cape wrapped around herself) and carrying a pumpkin pail. Opal thinks they work there and tries to enlist their help. Rain once again thinks fast and says no, they are collecting money for the PV Community Center Fund. Chumps that they are, Opal and Erica dig deep and toss $16 into the pumpkin. Erica offers advice on different costumes for them, since the ones they are wearing are likely to scare away the boys. Opal drags her off and tells her not to take out her frustration with Bianca on half the teenage population of PV. Bianca apologizes for her mother's comments, but Rain brushes it off as Erica being from a whole different scene. Rain is jazzed about the haul and offers to take the costume off Bianca's hands, assuming Bianca was now going to leave to avoid her mother. Rain is surprised to hear Bianca say she'd rather stay -- she has all afternoon! They grin.
Later on, they skip back into the food court. Rain is excited about the nearly $30 she's collected. Rain spies another pigeon and tells Bianca to hide her purse and put her head on the table. Rain rushes up to someone and says someone stole Bianca's purse with all her money AND her insulin -- they need money right away for a cab so she can go home and shoot up. Bianca puts on a pitiful face and turns to the pigeon, only to discover that it's Jack who is wearing his patented "Oh REALLY?" face. Her eyes grow big as she meekly says, "Hi, Uncle Jack." He wants to know 1) why she isn't in school, 2) when did she get robbed, and 3) how is it that she's suddenly developed diabetes?
CHURCH OF THE GOOD COLLIE
Edmund sits in a pew and remembers he and Alex in the church discussing their upcoming nuptials and how worthy their love was. Then he remembers a flustered (and very pregnant) Alex trying to explain her reunion with Dimitri, as Edmund notices she is no longer wearing his engagement ring. Reverend Taylor interrupts his reverie. He has such a deep, loud voice that both Edmund AND I jumped :-) He notes that Edmund is troubled and offers an ear, but mentioning that some workers are coming soon to knock down a wall. Edmund declines and they go their separate ways. Edmund gets as far as some orange curtains when he hears Alex and Dimitri entering the opposite side of the church. They are laughing and talking about renewing their wedding vows. He hears Alex tell Dimitri that they can't renew their vows at Wildwind, that's for sure. It would be too hard on Edmund.
Dimitri is upset -- he can't stop thinking about Edmund (who is leaning his head up against the curtain now). Alex sighs that she is too. They rehash Edmund's pretense of normality when they know he's suffering. Dimitri says it's hard on everyone -- he's happy, he's healthy and he's with the woman he loves. He wants to shout it out from the rooftops, but he can't share it with anyone. Alex: "Because of Edmund. I know." Dimitri: "Can't share it with anyone." Alex: "You can share it with me." Edmund is now looking heavenward [there's a crimp in the curtain that's really bugging me]. Dimitri loudly kisses Alex. She says that, when the time is right, they can be more open about their love for each other [dream ON!] Edmund once again flashes back to Alf tormenting him over the punching bag: "Come on! What was that, a wisp of wind? You barely made contact! Not like Master Dimitri. THAT boy could take you down without breaking a sweat! Bad enough he's Lord of the Manor! You want what he's got, you've got to suck it up and TAKE IT! (singsong) Oh, cry, baby, cry-eye, winker in your eye-eye! [huh?] Come on, boy, show me what you've got! Who's the REAL man around here? Is Dimitri your lord and master?" Edmund has had enough of his reveries and Dimitri and Alex. He turns to leave and discovers that the door next to the curtain is locked. Naturally he rattles it back and forth, making all kinds of noise. Dimitri and Alex wonder if someone is there and start to walk over and investigate. Edmund notices the construction stuff around him and zeroes in on a nasty mallet. He hears Alf yelling at him to "take the challenge and give him what for!"
Edmund turns and gives a calculating look to whatever is on the other side of the curtain. Alex says she doesn't think there's anyone there. Dimitri agrees he was probably just hearing things [if someone is rattling a door trying to get it open, you'd think people a few feet away could figure that out -- and these people outwitted the Bryn Wydd Bastile, not to mention worked for it?] Alex even says Dimitri was there before and Dimitri says: "Hiding in the shadows ..." [How dimwitted ARE these people?] It was when Edmund and Alex said they loved each other. Dimitri says it was very painful for him [not as painful as it's ABOUT to be]. Edmund's nostrils flare. They bill and coo and touch, saying how much they love each other ... always. They kiss and Edmund grips the mallet so heard that a pop is heard and a new bloodstain suddenly appears on the bandaged back of his hand. He grimaces HARD and stares back at the curtain, working his hands on the mallet with the practiced hand of someone who has done a considerable amount of masturbating over the last few years.
Alex and Dimitri continue to kiss. With great difficulty, Edmund pries his hand off the business end of the mallet and leans back. Alex breaks suction and says she's changed her mind -- they'll have to find somewhere else to renew their vows. They caress each other and more lovey-dovey talk ensues. They hold hands and skip out. Edmund slowly pulls the curtain aside [why didn't he just step around it?] and lifts his head back to contemplate how close he came to starring in his own horror movie. Then he hears Alf taunting him again. As he stares at the wall, Alf's image appears (presumably this is the wall that's about to be knocked down). Edmund stares at it. A commercial about feminine itching appears.
PINE VALLEY INN
Paul is herding people out of the lobby, assuring them that everything is under control. Greenlee runs up in her now-filthy, 3-sizes-too-small blouse and breathlessly asks if he's all right -- did he survive? Paul has no idea what she's talking about. "Leo!" she screams, "Leo Du Pres!" Apparently the cable finally DID snap and the elevator fell. A fireman comes up and explains this to Paul and says they pulled Greenlee out just in time. Greenlee frantically says that Leo was in the elevator, but he was holding the rope when it fell -- she could hear him screaming! Woody runs up and hugs her. In a tiny voice, she says Wade was going to kill her! Woody says he knows -- he called and demanded a ransom, and Woody TOLD Millicent that he wasn't bluffing. Greenlee explains the means of her getaway (Leo) and the ensuing elevator catastrophe. Paul rushes over and assures Woody that they had put that elevator out of service. [2 things: Why does such an upscale hotel still have a cabled elevator instead of a safer, hydraulic one? How can the PVI get away with having a cable that's SHREDDED? Don't they have elevator inspections?] Greenlee keeps sniveling about Leo and yet another fireman tells Woody that they pulled Greenlee out of the elevator and then it hit basement level, whereupon it collapsed in on itself. Greenlee begs for news of Leo, then cries that she has to go to him -- she CAN'T lose him! Just then, Leo limps in, assisted by a Gillian lookalike and winces in pain as Greenlee launches herself into his arms, THRILLED that he is alive. Then she says she ought to KILL him!
Leo disentangles himself from her and says his entire body, except for his nostrils, is in complete agony! He teeters over to collapse in a chair. Greenlee wants to know what happened, then notices the woman with him and asks who SHE is. He wants to know which is more important to her :-) He explains that the elevator only went a few floors and then stopped at the 5th floor. [Then how did they pull Greenlee out just before it hit the basement level?] He started screaming like a big ole baby and then his magnificent guardian angel in shining armor rescued him, prying open the doors with a metal trash can and pulling him out just before the elevator fell again. Woody thanks her and she says the hard part was helping him down 4 flights of stairs [haven't they heard of a telephone?]. Greenlee gives her an extremely insincere thanks and tells her she can take it from here -- she can go now :-) She gives the evil eye to the guardian angel, who tells her that, whatever Greenlee is thinking, all Leo talked about down those 4 flights was getting to Greenlee.
[Tad and Dixie went to the Honeymoon Suite -- did they have to climb 20 flights of stairs to get to it?]
Later on, Leo stands and he and Greenlee lovingly hug. [Why haven't they been checked out by paramedics yet?] Woody beams and says that's the first time he's seen Greenlee really smile in weeks! He and the woman (Victoria) smile and she says Leo is looking a lot better, too. She chides them BOTH to keep their feet on the ground. Leo says he owes her one and thanks her. Greenlee, still plastered to Leo, squints and snaps "Me too." Her look clearly says "One step closer and DIE! Scram, you She-Devil!" Victoria makes a hasty exit.
Greenlee walks over to Woody and apologizes for dragging him into it. He questions her on why he didn't know anything and they tell him they were trying to protect him because of his heart condition. Woody says: "You ARE my heart, Greenlee." Leo asks why he knew to come to the PVI, and he says that Wade told him to bring the money to the boathouse. He said he would if Wade told him where Greenlee was. Wade agreed. Greenlee sadly points out that Wade expected Woody to find her dead at the bottom of an elevator shaft. Rather than sit down or stay in one place, Leo limps about 10' to the other side of Woody and asks to borrow his cell phone to call Lt. Frye so some cops can get to the boathouse and catch Wade before he takes off with Woody's money. Woody doesn't care about the money. Leo takes the phone and limps even farther away.
Paul, the sycophant who is unable to pry his lips off of Woody's ass for more than a couple of minutes at a time, asks if he can get them anything. Woody demurs, and Greenlee requests Wade Randall's head on a stick. Woody gets upset at the thought of Greenlee's near-death experience and Greenlee soothes him, saying she survived. Greenlee says they have her young man to thank for that. She agrees and says that, instead, she accused him of being a disloyal skirt- chaser. Greenlee: "Why can't I learn? I'm like one of those people with that swearing disease. I just can't stop myself!" He says it sounds like she's falling for Leo. She says it's more like falling WITH him -- about 10 flights! He wonders if getting into a relationship with Leo is in her best interests. She says Leo has rescued her countless times and Woody wonders why she keeps needing to be rescued. She says she's working on being more self-sufficient. They notice that Leo hasn't come back from making his phone call. (see THE BOATHOUSE below)
THE BOATHOUSE
Wade, holding a gun in firing position, scopes out the boathouse, cautiously stepping into it. He goes to a locker and finds the briefcase full of money. Leo creeps up behind him and snags the gun from the docking post, aims it at Wade and asks if he has change for a $20 :-) Wade turns partway and carefully holds up the briefcase in offering. He also pulls up a life jacket in his other hand (which Leo REALLY should have seen since it was done so slowly and obviously). Naturally, he whaps Leo in the head with it a couple of times. They scuffle and the gun skitters off to the side. As Wade bends to pick it up, Leo grabs a pole and thwaps his hands with it. They scuffle some more, turning in circles [which reveals that Wade has a REALLY nice ass]. Leo manages to jab the pole into Wade's belly and Wade falls to the convenient boathouse bench, holding the pole as if he's been impaled. Leo backs up, but leaves the pole with Wade [idiot!].
Leo taunts him about going to prison as Wade grips the pole and grunts in pain. He's faking, of course. He slowly pulls the pole outward to show Leo that he wasn't REALLY impaled, then lunges at Leo with the pole. Leo, miraculously recovered from his elevator shaft experience, nimbly leaves into the canoe, then out of it again, with nary a wobble. Leo dances over to grab another pole, then dances back again whereupon the joust (parry, parry, thrust, thrust ...). Wades gets the upper hand and knocks Leo down. Leo scrambles back up, but now Wade has the gun again. Leo steps backward in the sunlight [whereupon I notice he has really shiny shoes] and around to the other side. He drops the pole and puts his hands up in surrender as Wade stalks him and then orders him down to his knees. Leo says they can talk about this. [I notice that the back of his shirt is REMARKABLY wrinkle-free, all things considered] He nevertheless gets down on his knees with his back to Wade. Actually, he's on all fours. Wade turns the gun in his hands and pulls it back to slam it into the back of Leo's head. Leo is too quick, though, and slams backward with a paddle, knocking Wade down. Leo jumps to his feet and slams the paddle down on Wade so hard that the paddle breaks, apparently knocking Wade out.
Leo slumps to the floor, breathing heavily, his cheeks rosily flushed, giving the camera a buffalo shot [but it's too dark to really see anything]. He remembers telling Woody that he wanted to borrow his phone to call Lt. Frye. Then he takes the cell phone out of his pants and finally makes his call. He tells Derek that he's at the PVI, but thought Derek should know that Wade is probably at the boathouse. Wade is facedown on the pier. Still breathing hard, he gets up and walks over to the locker to pick up the briefcase full of money. He takes out a wad and stuffs it in his shirt pocket [Is he NUTS? Oh yeah, NO ONE will notice a huge wad of money flapping out of his shirt pocket!] He grabs the briefcase and ducks out.
PINE VALLEY INN
Greenlee and Woody chitchat about Derek being on his way to the boathouse to pick up Wade and the money, and her having finished giving her statement to the officers on the scene. They once again wonder where Leo has gone. Greenlee frets that Wade might have come back and taken Leo hostage. Woody says maybe Leo is fine and standing right behind her. She turns and rushes into Leos arms as he smiles beatifically. Then she backs up and hits him in the chest with both hands for scaring her like that. (The money is now at least folded over in his pocket) He swears he wasn't with Victoria as he rubs the sore spot where she hit him. She contritely says she knows that. She fills him in on Derek's new mission and says they need to give their statements -- is that where Leo was (giving his statement). He sheepishly says he was feeling a little shaky and had gone up to his mother's room to rest. She points out that there is a problem with the elevator and he says he took the service one. It's hard to say if she believes him or not, but he says he's feeling a LOT better, and they hug.
He suggests they celebrate surviving with a bottle of bubbly. He says he'll find a waiter and take care of it, then find her in a little bit. He stops a nearby waiter that he knows (Drew), chats him up briefly, then orders the champagne. The waiter knows him and scoffs, saying he can't put it on his mother's tab. Leo says he's paying cash tonight. Drew doesn't believe him and starts to walk away, but Leo stops him and flashes the wad of $100s. He counts off 3 of them and asks if that will cover it. Drew says it will and Leo tells him to keep the change. Leo turns back and beams (presumably at Greenlee and/or Woody).
ERICA'S HOUSE
Erica and Opal walk in with shopping bags [they met at the mall -- why is Opal bringing her bags into Erica's house?] Opal tells her to cheer up. Erica's is bummed because she couldn't find that jacket that Bianca wanted. Opal suggests Coral can make some brownies for Bianca, but Erica says SHE wants to do something special for Bianca, and she doesn't bake! Then she notices boxes in the living room -- the airline has FINALLY sent the rest of Bianca's things! Erica is thrilled because now Bianca will be happy! Opal suggests they unpack so that when Bianca gets hom, her room will be full of all her favorite things. The first thing they find are Bianca's journals. Erica realizes that, by reading the journals, she can find out more about Bianca and more about the boy who broke her heart. Opal chides her that that is rule numeral uno in the the parent/child handbook -- a parent NEVER looks in his child's drawers or journals or email -- it is VERBOTEN -- it's an invasion of privacy! Erica protests, but Opal takes the journals and puts them back in the boxes, saying BIANCA should unpack them, ESPECIALLY her journals.
Opal is going through her shopping bags and nattering on about Enchantment's new Mint Spa Mask. Erica is fondling one of Bianca's journal. Just as she's about to open it, Opal calls her name. [I just now notice that Opal is wearing an elegant suit in a fetching Gateway cow pattern] Opal reminds her that she cannot read the journals. Erica still thinks they will help her understand Bianca and then gets the bright idea that, while SHE can't read them, OPAL can! Opal refuses and tells her to back off of Bianca and chill out. Erica sullenly listens. Opal leaves to make a pot of tea, but stops to remind her not to touch the journals. Like a moth to a flame, Erica sidles over to them the second Opal leaves the room. She remembers Jack telling her about the possible romance with a boy in rehab; she lunges for the top journal and opens it. It JUST happens to be the one Bianca wrote while in rehab. Bianca's voice: "Going home soon. It's weird. I couldn't wait to leave when I first got here, but now I don't want to. And not because I'm afraid. I feel really good about my recovery, but something happened here, something I can't even put into words or write about. But I have to face it so I can face my life again." Erica: "Oh, my poor baby. What happened?"
Erica gives a quick reconnaissance glance over her shoulder before continuing with the journal. Bianca's voice: "Somehow I have to try to put my feelings into words. My counselor says that's the beginning of understanding myself better. So here goes. It started when I was assigned to a new therapy group--" Opal walks into the room with a tray of tea fixings and startles Erica by asking what she's doing. Before she can answer, they hear a noise at the front door and Erica quickly snaps the journal shut and holds it behind her. Jack and Bianca walk in. Bianca looks like a condemned prisoner as Erica asks why she's home from school so early. Jack says he found her at the mall and orders Bianca to explain. Bianca insolently says she didn't go to school, she was at the mall. Erica: "You cut school to go shopping?" Jack, looking upward toward the 2nd floor windows and leaning back like he's trying to do the limbo: "Ohhhhh, she did a little bit more than SHOP, didn't you?" Bianca says she was with a friend. Is is someone Erica knows? Jack looking wryly downward now and scratching/tugging his ear: "Oh, I doubt it -- she's a young panhandler." Erica is shocked that Bianca would get mixed up with trash like that! Predictably, Bianca lashes out at Erica for being a snob and says they were just goofing off! Erica wants to know if expecting her to be in school not hang around with panhandlers makes her a snob. The light dawns on Erica and she realizes that the masked girls at the mall were really Bianca and "that stormy girl". Bianca corrects her and says the girl's name is "Rain". Erica doesn't CARE what her name is! Wait a minute -- they were collecting money for the Center. What did they do with the money? Bianca: " " Erica is very disappointed and says that was a VERY low thing to do. Bianca sneers that she'll make it up to the Center. Erica thinks that's a start -- but how is Bianca make it up to HER? She angrily talks about not being able to trust Bianca and says she WONT'T STAND FOR IT! Then SLAMS Bianca's journal onto the table. Bianca is horrified that Erica had her journal.
Undaunted, Erica admits they are Bianca's journals -- the airline sent them and she thought it would be nice if she unpacked the boxes for her. She and Opal thought it would be nice for her to find her things in her room when she returned home from SCHOOL. Instead, Bianca chose to cut school and spend the afternoon with a juvenile delinquent. [Why was Bianca having brunch with Erica at the PVI? Shouldn't she have ALREADY been at school?] That won't happen again, though -- from now on Erica plans to drive Bianca to school and pick her up again in the afternoon (Jack looks away and raises his eyebrows), and then Erica will drive her to Enchantment [Amazing! Erica actually remembers she has a business to run!] where she can do her homework and help Erica in the office. Bianca says it's COMPLETELY unfair. Erica says it's not up for discussion -- Bianca has exactly ONE semester to make it up to Erica and rebuild her trust -- after that, whatever happens is up to Bianca. Bianca turns and pleads to Jack for assistance, but he shakes his head and says she brought it on herself. Erica banishes Bianca to her room and says Jack will bring the boxes up when he returns later on. Bianca starts to leave, but stops and asks if Erica read her journals. Erica looks at her and feigns innocence.
[Frankly, I'm on Erica's side here. The punishment is not going to work, because it's too smothering, but I once banned my son from watching TV for 6 months (that didn't work, either). Any parent who has discovered that their child has cut school is tempted to not only take away all their privileges and watch them like a hawk, they're even tempted to sit in class and WATCH them! That's not practical and it's a major imposition on your OWN time, but that's the first inclination, IMO. There is also that embarrassed feeling, whether we like to admit it or not, that our child has made a fool of us.]
Erica stares a Bianca in disbelief: "Do you HONESTLY believe that I would read your PRIVATE journals?" [Bitch!] "Is THAT what you THINK of me?" Ashamed, Bianca says "Never mind, forget I asked, ok?" She rushes out of the room, journals in hand. Opal's arms are crossed as she sternly and disapprovingly looks at Erica. Erica thanks Jack for his support and he says he didn't much like being on the receiving end of a con job and seeing his niece on the other end of it [I notice he's wearing a boldly checked black & white tie]. Erica worries that she was too strict. More thanks ensue and he leaves. Erica plops [yes, PLOPS] into a chair that seems exceptionally wide for a single-width chair, making her look even tinier. As Erica ruminates that it's always SOMETHING, Opal continues to give her "the look". [I keep getting distracted by the stem with a couple of rosebuds that arc about a foot off to the side of Opal's hat] Opal knowingly says that it's a good thing Erica didn't read those journals or else that breach-of-trust speech she just gave Bianca would come right back and smack her in the face. Erica looks away guiltily, then defiantly looks back.
Bianca slowly walks into her room and shuts the door. She looks upward and, out loud, says: "I know that my words have power and that I should be brave enough to own up to them. But I can't EVER let my mother read this!" She opens the top journal and start desperately ripping out the pages, looking like her face is going to implode.
PINE VALLEY MALL
Alex and Dimitri are strolling through the mall. Dimitri questions her sudden urge to go shopping. She says it's not that -- she just wants to spend a pleasant afternoon like nice normal people. She suggests they go see a movie. They lapse into fake British accents (which is saying something for a British person) and joke about popcorn and making out at the cinema. They stand near a tree with leaves that are blazingly fall-colored, despite it being an indoor mall tree that doesn't know any better. Then she wants them to take goofy pictures together in the photo booth. He teases that she could NEVER take a goofy picture. She whines that she just wants to have some fun and not have to tiptoe around. He asks if she wants to forget about the world and she says yes. Carefree, Dimitri loudly says: "Goodbye world!" [He should REALLY be careful about saying THAT, all things considered] She does the same and they stroll way laughing and joking about the Halloween display. The camera pans in on a particularly gruesome mask, which fades to an image of Alf. [Wow, you can get ANYTHING at the mall, these days!]
Now Alf is standing in front of Edmund (as opposed to being welded to the wall), challenging Edmund and saying he is all grown up and dressed for success. Alf taunts him, saying it's all for show. He thought Edmund had finally gotten some backbone when he grabbed the mallet, but, as usual, he can't follow through. Edmund shakes his head and turns, wobbling and flailing, trying to banish the image of Alf, rubbing his eyes and grunting. Alf yells that he's still there, startling Edmund who turns back to him. Alf says he can help Edmund find the courage and spine to take on Master Dimitri and WIN!
On the next AMC:
Greenlee and Leo are sitting in a large bubble bath. Greenlee: "I am exquisitely happy!"
At Wildwind, Dimitri calmly says to Edmund: "I am as ready as you are." Edmund: "For what?" Dimitri: "That's your call."
As Gillian looks on, Leslie comes up and puts her arm in Ryan's and says: "Are you ready for dinner?"
Irreverently submitted,
Robin "Mmmmm ... bubble bath ... Leo ... mmmmmm ..." Coutellier
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