Caveat: I'm very tired, so I'm not even going to proof this before posting it; please forgive any typos or nonsensical phrasing (other than my USUAL nonsensical phrasing).
Previously on AMC
Jake: "Now that I have you by my side, I can get through anything."
Greenlee: "You've been set up like a 10-pack of bowling pins, Mr. Lavery. You want know who did the racking?" Ryan: "Who?" Greenlee: "You're looking at her."
Liza: "Just a little something for you to chew on, Arlene. I don't know how many people you're going to have to answer to, but just know that I'm high on your list."
PV HOSPITAL
Arlene, disguised in green scrubs and a mask (but wearing HUGE dangling earrings), sneaks into Adam's room and attempts to play "nurse", saying she has something for Adam's pain. Adam's eyes FLY open in horror when he recognizes her voice. He tells her it's OVER! She agrees -- his suffering and her fear of losing him IS over! He tries over and over to tell her that this chapter of their life is OVER, the charade is OVER, adios, vamoose, scram, get lost, hop a plane, take a bus, crawl, just LEAVE! Arlene just keeps shushing him, putting her thumb over his mouth, saying, "Bup-bup-bup bup-bup! Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup!" like he's a little boy. Adam grabs her wrist and yanks her hand away, hissing that he can't stand the SIGHT of her! He tells her to take the $500,000 he offered her and get out of his life! She quietly questions his thinking that it would be that simple. Arlene is very understated and quietly heartfelt during this scene (from this point on). He says he knows she can make it hard for him, but for once in her life she's going to take the high road. For once in her life? She points out that SHE's the one who brought Stuart back to him! Adam looks at her as if she's lost her mind -- SHE had Stuart LOCKED IN THE ATTIC! Arlene: "And I could have left him there, but I let him go because I wanted you to know that your brother was alive." Incredulous, Adam says she knew Stuart was alive for MONTHS and didn't tell anyone! She continues to rationalize everything (she didn't tell anyone about Stuart because he was HAPPY in Nevada, she didn't know what she was doing when she hit him because she was drunk), totally oblivious to the seriousness of what she's done. Adam rolls his eyes and snorts at her delusions. Arlene sits on his bed and starts to cry, saying that she did the right thing in the end. He tells her to leave, but she stays and says that she knows he thinks getting together with her was some sick, disgusting thing, but it was GREAT for her, and not just because of the money. She is truly pathetic as she tells him that it was nice to have a roof over her head and not feel like she had to be nice to someone for her next meal -- but it was great for her because he NEEDED her! Adam says he needed her because he wanted people to think he was a lost cause. Arlene shakes her head and grimly smiles and says "I don't care." [Folks, she is totally debasing herself here -- so much so that I started watching and updating this last Friday, but stopped partway through this paragraph because I was so uncomfortable to see her degrade herself this way. I didn't pick it up again until 8pm Sunday night. THIS is great acting!] She says that when they were together and in each other's arms, they were both alive again and he can't deny it. He yells that he's not going to argue with her any more -- if she agrees to an annulment, he'll give her the money. Arlene: "The only bargain that I remember is 'till death do us part.' And the only way I'm going to leave this marriage is with feet first!"
Outside Adam's room, Marian looks through the glass. Arlene's back is to her. She turns and tells Liza that Adam seems to be getting stronger. Liza glances into the room and wryly says that Adam is bucking doctor's orders. Marian urges her to go back into the room, but Liza serenely says there's no need at this point. They wander a few feet away from the door. Marian expresses a desire to get rid of Arlene in some way more humbling than a one-way bus ticket out of town, something slow and excruciating. Liza isn't worried about Arlene -- her days in PV are numbered.
Tad walks around the corner and informs them that Adam has requested to see him and he wonders if they know why (they don't). They say Adam is fine -- look for yourself. Tad looks through the door glass momentarily and starts to turn back, but whips around for a second take. Arlene's back is STILL to the door. He looks over his shoulder and asks the Colby women why Arlene is dressed like a doctor. They run over and realize it IS Arlene. Rather than go in, Liza stomps away a few feet, saying Arlene is RELENTLESS. She's ready to buy into a revenge scheme with Marian.
GERMAN HOSPITAL
Gillian walks into Jake's empty hospital room (the bed is so severely made that a chunk of concrete would probably be more enticing). She's on her cell phone, which keeps ringing. She's calling Ryan, but he's not answering and isn't calling her back. She wonders aloud why Ryan isn't picking up his messages just as Jake is wheeled back into the room. He's wearing a short robe with nicely muscled legs sticking out [he looks to be very much in control of said muscled legs]. His hair is carefully coifed in what must be at least a $75 style, and his cheeks are becomingly shaded with blush and highlighter. He tells Gillian that the tests went well and the swelling has gone down [his head DOES look smaller -- oh wait, he meant his spine]. The nurse chimes in that they are also about to start physical therapy. Jake says Gillian won't be there, though, because she'll be out shopping and taking advantage of her visit to Germany. Gillian declines and Jake tries to enlist the help of the nurse -- the nurse says that she'd choose being with her husband the hero over shopping. Jake's mood changes and he tells the nurse that he'll stay in the chair for a bit (effectively dismissing her). She leaves, pulling the amazing soundproofed curtain closed.
Jake tells Gillian he wishes everyone would cool this "hero" bit -- it's getting old fast! She says he IS a hero. He demurs, asking what else he could do once he got there? Gillian insists that he IS a hero -- HE'S the one who decided to go to Chechnya in the first place and it was a very selfless thing to do. Jake says he went so he could do something that mattered -- to feel like HE mattered. Once he got there, he was just as selfish and manipulative as Adam Chandler -- he went there to impress Gillian. She doesn't care -- to her he'll ALWAYS be a hero. As ominous cymbal music sounds, he says he would be happier just being her husband. Gillian stares at him.
PV JAIL
Ryan continues to question Greenlee: "YOU'RE the reason I'm in here? YOU set me up?" Greenlee nods and smugly smiles. Ryan, ever a sharp tack: "WHY?" She briefly lists the chain of events that landed her in hot water and him in a jail cell. [At this point I notice that there is a light INSIDE the jail cell, albeit covered with tiny little bars as if the light bulb is doing time. Whose supremely stupid idea was THAT?] Ryan asks what the HELL she's talking about! Greenlee: "Focus, Ryan! While I was helping you, risking my life, you were carrying on with your Hungarian whore! Your secret is OUT!"
PV HOSPITAL
Arlene is now sitting on the couch in Adam's room. Adam tells her that $500K is a lot of money and she should take it. She says she doesn't know how to convince him that it's NOT the money! She could have left Stuart in the attic and let Adam die -- she would have inherited BILLIONS, but she'd rather be his wife, not his widow [like he would have let her inherit that much money]. She walks over and begs him for a chance. He says Stuart says he should forgive everything she's done. Arlene (softly): "That's right." Adam says he WILL forgive her -- IF they part amicably. If she wants a fight, she'll get one. Arlene reverts to form at this point (and Tad and Liza slip into the room unnoticed) saying: "All right, well, then bring it on, baby! If all you're going to give me is cash, then I'm going to make sure I get every cent that is coming to me. Get ready for the ugliest divorce this country's ever seen! [worse than Burt & Loni?]" Arlene notices the entering duo and yells at them to get out so she can talk to her HUSBAND! Tad tells her she has a lot of nerve, especially considering how she's dressed. Liza talks softly and soothingly to Arlene, saying that Adam isn't well. She knows this can't be easy for Arlene. Arlene is suspicious and pugnacious. Adam watches, wide-eyed, silently wondering what's going on as he watches Liza. Liza says she's NOT pitying Arlene -- Stuart talked to her and convinced her that she should be more grateful and gracious to Arlene. Arlene backs down a little, confused: "Stuart says I shouldn't be blamed for what I did because--" Liza: "Yes, because you did the right thing in the end." Adam's eyes are back to normal, and you can tell the gears are turning as he takes this in, looking back and forth between the 2 women. Arlene (tentatively): "And I saved his life." Liza mentally grits her teeth, but is outwardly polite and civil as she agrees and thanks Arlene. Arlene turns to Adam and, part challenging, but mostly contrite and pleading, says: "See? Stuart AND Liza both think I'm not a terrible person." Adam quickly looks at her and back to Liza, realizing that Arlene is still deluded and that Liza is probably up to something. He feigns pain and closes he eyes. Arlene's chin quivers as she looks down at the floor in abject guilt and contrition. Liza says Adam needs his rest and offers to take Arlene home. Arlene concedes that she's very tired, having been up since the building collapsed. But she wants to stay. Liza soothingly tempts her with nice, warm, tasty food from Lucretia's kitchen as opposed to the hospital. Arlene almost gives in, saying she IS hungry [for booze?] She is grimacing throughout this scene, fighting off the tears. As Liza says: "Let's go," Arlene gets some spine back, lifts her chin and challenges Liza: "Uh ... you're being a little too nice to me." Liza, still eerily gentle, tells Arlene that it's time to set the animosity aside [but it sounds like she says enema-sity]. She thinks they should all greet Stuart back into the family and they should all try to be a little bit more like him. Arlene tries to read Liza's sincerity, then bites her lip and turns to Adam. She tells him she'll be back tomorrow. Adam, eyes still closed in feigned pain, doesn't respond. As Liza ushers her out, Arlene tells Tad not to stay too long because Adam needs his rest. Liza gives a meaningful look to Adam and Tad. Tad purses his lips and raises his eyebrows at Adam, whose eyes have flown open as he says: "My GOD, what is Liza going to DO to her?!" Tad: "I have no idea, but if I were Arlene, I'd leave a trail of breadcrumbs and start praying NOW." Adam raises his eyebrows and smiles slightly.
GERMAN HOSPITAL
The writers are working overtime to try to convince disillusioned viewers that Jake realizes what a jerk he's been and how reluctant he is to take the mantle of "hero". He tells Gillian he could have some something noble at home such as work in the inner city, but instead he jumped into the line of fire in Chechnya. [I notice something in the background that is probably supposed to be a big spotlight, but looks like a giant magnifying glass ala' "Fantastic Voyage" -- does Jake have boils that also need tending?] He tells Gillian that when he got there he was afraid and terrified that he was never going to see her or his family again [which must be why he mostly ignored her] and he wanted out of there quick! She says he stayed, though. He says it was because the kids desperately needed him. He talks about Paulina, the "little girl" they helped and says she reminded him very much of Colby. Gillian says he loved Colby very much, but he lost her -- he gave her up. He says he didn't have a choice, it was fate. But now he DOES have choices and has to start making the RIGHT ones. [One choice he should make is to instruct them to light him better -- there is a shadow just under the center of his nose that looks a little Hitleresque or, at minimum, like he's got a HUGE black booger hanging out] Gillian stares at him.
PV JAIL
The same graffiti that was on the wall the last time Adam and Tad were in the cell is still there. NOTE: Throughout the jail scenes, Ryan's eyes never stop bulging like Asok's in the Dilbert comics. Never one to figure out on which side his bread is buttered, Ryan yells at Greenlee to give him straight answers or GET OUT! [I didn't realize she was giving gay answers] She sweetly says all right, what does he want to know? He asks about the mob connections and she explains Mr. Midori's intent to bust Ryan, her borrowing money from Wade Randall to cover it, and the threats to her grandfather. Ryan yells that he had it COVERED [uh-huh] -- he KNEW what he was doing!!! [BWAHAHAHAHAAA!!!] As he rants and raves about it, Greenlee serenely nods -- she's actually subtly shimmying in delight as she relishes his predicament, still with that Mona Lisa smile on her face. The light dawns on Ryan as he realizes that Wade must have sent goons over to his apartment to trash it with baseball bats. Greenlee calmly tells him that it was an ax and that SHE did it. He is incredulous and demands to know why. She says she was angry at him for what he did, embezzling, taking that terrible risk and running off with Gillian, using "OUR company" to plan a future with HER. Ryan explodes: "***MY*** COMPANY!!" He shakes the bars to he cell, which move about 3" or more. He insists IncredibleDreams.com is HIS company -- it belongs to HIM! Greenlee: "As you never cease to point out to me." He says she never GETS IT, though! He asks himself why he ever kept her on board! She says it was because he needed a cover while he was carrying on with Gillian while her husband was in a war zone. He says he should never have rehired her when Midori insisted on it. Greenlee asks him why he thinks Midori wanted him on board, hmmmm? Furious, he ridicules her: "What, you think it's because of your brilliant resume, your entrepreneurial skills?" He asks that, if he's so smart, why doesn't HE figure it out. Smug and nasty, Ryan says: "Well, we know it had nothing to do with YOU!" [I am LOVING this!] He says it was obviously for her grandfather's name. She says he's close, but Midori didn't need HER to see the Greenlee name -- he could see it every week -- on his PAYCHECK. Ryan's smug look falters and he shakes his head a couple of times like a dog with a flea in it's ear and asks what she's saying. Greenlee is outright grinning like a Cheshire Cat now and tells him he might figure it out after 5-10 years. The light dawns on the dimbulb as he asks if the money to start his company came from her grandfather. With a look of grim satisfaction, Greenlee tells him that it's not HIS company, it's HER company -- it was bought and paid for by Greenlee money. Ryan stares at her.
Ryan protests that HE created ID.com -- it was HIS idea! [not the way *I* remember it -- it was GREENLEE'S idea and she let him THINK it was his idea] She said that's all it WOULD be is an idea if she hadn't pried a few million bucks from her grandfather -- who else would have bankrolled someone like HIM? He says she tried to buy him and it didn't work! She said it was because she loved him and believed in him. He says it didn't work, though, did it, because he NEVER loved her and never told her he did. She agrees -- he loved Gillian -- so much so that he dropped himself into a war zone for her. For what? To ask her husband for her hand in marriage? The light dawns on HER now as she realizes that she has hit upon the truth. He keeps telling her to leave Gillian out of it [shyeah, RIGHT!] Greenlee's pain surfaces as she says she doesn't get it -- when he was married to Gillian, she made his life a living HELL and now she's St. Gillian, Patron Saint of Goulash [BWAHAHAHAHAAA!!!] He yells at her to SHUT UP! [This phrase is getting a LOT of use on AMC these days] He doesn't even want her to say Gillian's NAME! Still hurt and bewildered, wondering what Gillian has that she doesn't, she says that he talks about Gillian the way she (Greenlee) used to talk about HIM, but Gillian is NOTHING - she cheated on her HUSBAND! [actually, she cheated on BOTH her husbands] He says she doesn't know what Gillian is like. Greenlee whines and asks what Gillian IS like. He says Gillian is NOTHING like HER. Gillian is kind, generous and tender and she makes Ryan want to be a better person and THAT'S why he would travel halfway around the WORLD for her! He backs away from the bars, which he's been gripping off and on like a deranged monkey, and wearily sits on the bed. Greenlee jeers at him, talking about how Gillian is with her HUSBAND the HERO orphan-rescuer now, not the jailed loser, Ryan. He says he's going to get out of this and all this is going to just GO AWAY. She tells him not to count on it. Ryan says Gillian LOVES him and will not turn her back on him.
GERMAN HOSPITAL
Jake tells Gillian she's changed since the last time he saw her in PV. There was something fragile about her (to him) and he felt a need to protect her. [Is that why you deserted her in the middle of the night, you COWARD?] He notes that she's more sure and confident in herself. [I note that the curtain keeps moving] He says she reminds him of Eugenia and she laughs deprecatingly and says she WISHES -- her grandmother has derived so much strength from so much that she's lived through. Jake says he, too, has survived something very tough and he wants to show her how he can use that strength to pull out of it. He takes her hand and pulls it toward him like he's trying to curl a 100lb weight and says he's ready to take a walk [I told you he had control of his legs] and he wants her to help him.
ADAM'S ATTIC
Arlene is being strong-armed into the attic by Liza, with Marian at their heels, weilding a baseball bat. The scrub suit is off and Arlene is in her silver lame' pants and charcoal halter top. She says she wants to go to her own room. Marian assures her that THIS is her NEW room. Arlene dives for the door, but a TOTALLY pissed off and truly frightening Liza grabs her by the back of her hair and spins her around, shoving her back into the room as Marian comes closer with the baseball bat poised for swinging. Arlene, having landed on something convenient for sitting, holds out her hand like a witch throwing a curse and they stop their menacing approach. Arlene haughtily asks whatever happened to being nice like Stuart? As Marian caresses and bounces the bat with grim glee, Liza says Arlene is going to be JUST like Stuart for a few days, locked in the attic, only this time it will be by 2 people who could care LESS if she lives or dies! Arlene stares at them like they are cobras, shrinking back slightly while trying to decide how serious her situation is.
[The 1/2-hour station break occurs and I'm really annoyed that they are STILL showing that STUPID montage of Mateo holding a rose -- don't think WE don't have suggestions as to what he can do with the rose, thorns and all!]
Arlene tries another lightning quick run for it, but Marian blocks the way with the bat as Liza yells at her like she's a recalcitrant horse. Arlene mutters that she was stupid to go with them. Liza agrees -- she was stupid because she was angry and frustrated, which made her vulnerable, not to mention an easy target. Marian: "Just like Stuart was, when you mowed him down." [Arlene keeps running her hands through her hair, and each time she does that it accentuates how painfully thin (but toned) her arms are and I wince each time!] Arlene starts to look scared as Liza adds Adam to the list of Arlene's targets -- she hits all her targets; she could be sitting on billions, but she choked and look at her now! Arlene acts bravely bored at their effort to lock her up to see the error of her ways. How long will it be? A day? Two? Liza and Marian pretend to mull it over, with lots of lip pursing and arm-crossing. Marian never lets up on emphasizing the bat in her hands. They back toward the door and Arlene says they can't do this to her -- people will miss her and start looking for her. Liza wonders who that might be? Hayley? Marian smugly tells Arlene that it's no use -- no one cares about her and they can do whatever they want to her. Arlene looks calculatingly at them for a moment, then makes another desperate lunge, this time for the leaded window and she yells for help. Marian tells her it's no use -- she and Stuart screamed their lungs out. Liza: "In the attic, they can't hear you scream." Arlene snorts in frustration and Liza chuckles. She tells Arlene to conserve her energy -- she'll need it in the morning. It dawns on Arlene that there's more torture to come. Marian suggests that she find something to cover herself with and a safe place to sleep because the attic is just RIDDLED with RATS! Great BIG rats! As Marian clomps out, Arlene tosses out that they can't scare HER -- she can take whatever they dish out. Liza sardonically says: "Really? Can you?" Liza walks out and Arlene's composure slips as she runs for the door calling Liza's name and ordering her to let her out! Liza takes grim satisfaction in hammering the deadbolt home. [Do these people EVER tire of kidnapping and imprisoning each other?]
PV HOSPITAL
[NOTE: MEK is having another one of his stiff, phoning-in-his-lines days] Tad walks back into Adam's room and Adam thanks him for waiting [what Adam had to take a leak?] Tad says he couldn't leave without knowing what Adam wanted. Adam wants to know what Tad is planning. Tad is puzzled. Adam elaborates and wants to know what Tad is going to do to punish him for his crimes. Tad says he'll have to talk to the board about it -- after all, the building is completely totaled. The D.A. probably has all kinds of things to charge him with, too, such as terrorism. Adam brushes those things off and says he's worried about TAD. TAD had been his enemy. [Had?] Tad says he has no need to go after Adam. He has to start thinking about Junior and Dixie -- Dixie was right all along -- there's nothing that they could do to him that he hasn't already done to HIMSELF. Adam: "So I've been granted a reprieve?" Tad wouldn't say that -- it looks Adam has completely destroyed his own life -- it looks like there's nothing left. Tad looks off into space and apologizes for enjoying saying that just a little too much. [Huh? He's acting so lifeless I'm amazed he hasn't collapsed into a puddle on the floor.] Adam tells him to be his guest [this docile Adam can't POSSIBLY last!] Tad says Liza may have been stringing Arlene along, but she's right -- it's a miracle that Stuart is still alive. They should all try to be a little more like Stuart. Adam: "By GOD, that's JUST what I need -- that's the only way I'm going to survive this!" He apologizes for his past transgressions. [Does anyone have any extra insulin -- I think I'm going into sugar-shock] Tad doesn't quite believe him, and gives a flash of grudging, yeah-whatever-you-say,-asshole smile in acceptance. Tad excuses himself, but Adam stops him and says it's not just his acts of violence -- he's been undermining Tad's work at Chandler Enterprises for MONTHS! Tad: "Oh jinkies, really?" Adam: "Really. Out of spite. Out of envy. But it didn't work. You're doing a terrific job. Profits are high. Morale is high. I acknowledge that. It's Liza's master stroke to have brought you in as a partner." [It's obvious now (to me) that Adam's head wounds have short- circuited his brain] Tad struggles with the once-in-a-lifetime compliment and says it's ... interesting ... to hear those words come out of Adam's mouth. Adam says that after he comes back, he wants Tad to stay on -- he'll make sure that Tad's position in the company is secure. MEK comes alive as Tad tries not to hurl as he tells Adam that it is very generous of him, but he's forgetting something -- the board ousted Adam MONTHS ago. Tad: "I'm in. And you're out. And that's ALL." Adam just lays there, nods and swallows in humble repentance and acceptance. [Fish and frogs rain from the sky as swarms of locusts attack all the plague victims streaming to the hospital -- people at the park run screaming in terror as Miller's Pond/Willow Lake turns blood red! Children point in wonder at the flying pigs and cows -- Tad rings for a nurse as monkeys fly out of Adam's butt!]
PV JAIL
Greenlee tells Ryan to stay in his dream world. Ryan says he's going get out and undo everything she's done to him. She says Wade Randall's a very scary man and she's going to sic him on Ryan. He wonders what he ever did to make her hate him so much. Greenlee she LOVED the company, but it didn't mean that much to HIM -- they created something together and he plundered it all for Gillian's sake and left her to clean up the mess. He turned his back on everything they made together and THAT'S why she can never forgive him! He asks what the company REALLY means to her and reminds her that she smashed the office to bits with an ax all because her FEELINGS WERE HURT! That's WHO SHE IS, and her precious "love" for him? If he had been foolish to love her back she would have SMASHED that too as soon as she got tired of it! She protests that she loved him more than anything in the WORLD -- she wishes he could know how much -- but now he never will!
ADAM'S ATTIC
Arlene stands on a chest and drops something breakable, then jumps down and stomps her feet, yelling hopefully for Winnefred as she hears something. Liza and Marian walk in, Liza bearing a tray of food and Marian bearing the ever- present baseball bat. Liza cheerily says it's just them -- they decided to bring her a little soup and a little book, "Jane Eyre" [since I've never read it, I'm sure I'm missing some delicious significance]. Marian sweetly adds that she's brought a box of rat poison for Arlene and holds out the box for emphasis. Arlene says she doesn't NEED them, and Liza caringly says they thought she might be cold and hungry and prey to rodents :-) Liza: "You know, I think you're going to like that book, especially that part about the crazy wife who's locked in the attic and burns to death." Marian: "Liza, don't give away the ENDING!" [BWAHAHAHHAAAAA!!!!!] Arlene crooks her finger and orders Marian to leave it [the rat poison] and GO. Marian smiles and does Arlene's bidding. Liza smiles at Arlene like a game show host and says: "You know, I think I'd rather be poisoned to death, but -- anyway, if we don't see you, good luck. Arlene picks up on the "if we don't see you" part and panics. Arlene asks if they are planning on going somewhere. Liza uber-innocently denies it and Marian off- handedly tells Liza not to give anything away as they start to walk out.
As verbose as this update already is, the following is just TOO, TOO delicious not to quote directly, especially for people who missed the show:
Arlene: "Wait. What are you two planning?" Marian, fondling the bat: "You'll find out soon enough, Arlene! Soon enough. [quietly] Liza, is everything set?" Liza, almost whispering in daughterly, conspiratorial chit-chat: "Yeah. You know, it was good that we had that 20,000 in the safe!" Marian: "20,000?" Liza: "Yeah." Marian: "That's pricey!" Liza: "20,000 just for the kidnapping. And the rest --" Arlene: "Wait, wait, what?" Liza (ignoring Arlene): "The rest was MORE." Arlene: "Wait. What are you talking about -- kidnapping and 'the rest'? I mean, what are -- what are you planning?" Marian glares at Arlene and says: "Look, the less she knows, the better, Liza." Arlene: "The less I know about what?" Liza (acting like a shy, but hopeful little girl): "Well, actually, it might be more fun if she knows, Mama!" Marian: "You know, darling, you're right!" Liza grabs the bat and walks into the attic again, explaining: "You see, before the sun comes up, you are going to have a special visitor. A man from Singapore." Arlene laughs and nervously tries to appear amused: "Singapore?" Marian: "That's right, where they cane people for the slightest crime, Arlene." Liza, now acting like a game show host letting the guest in on what she's won: "Your crime is not going to be slight. You are going to be convicted of drug smuggling and sentenced to 30 years hard labor!" She grins and giggles. Arlene: "That's impossible." Liza: "It is? You know, I would've thought so. But I was amazed! Chandler Enterprises has so much influence, Adam could get an annulment from you and never have to lay eyes on you ever again!" She sits down and expansively marvels at their incredible luck. Arlene: "Yeah, well, it won't work. You -- you can't get rid of me that easily!" Marian frowns: "Darling, she's right. It won't work. It's too risky." Arlene: "Yeah, listen to your mother." Marian: "Why don't you just terminate her here." Arlene, baffled: "What?" Marian: "Or should I say EX- terminate her here." Liza, whining like a little girl who has to clean her room: "You want ME to kill her?" Arlene: "What are you talking about?" Marian: "Well, it's the safest thing for all of us. Then we can just rest easy, darling." Liza: "Mama, I don't want to be the one to kill her! I mean, she's a human being." Marian: "Darling, there's absolutely nothing HUMAN about ARLENE!" Liza pouts and gives in, turning to Arlene and cheerfully offering a choice: "All right, what do YOU want? You want to be dead before sunup or 30 years hard labor?"
Arlene laughs and says they are just playing with her head. Did they think she would BEG for their forgiveness and then take the next bus out of town? Liza: "She's too smart for us, Mama." Marian (ruefully): "Oh, I think you're right, darling." Arlene: "Ok, good. So I'm going to eat this hot soup that you've brought me, and then I'm going to go to sleep. Get this [the rat poison] away from me!" Marian: "Oh, be careful, Arlene, it's open. Oh, and I DO hope none of it spilled into your soup -- by accident, of course." Arlene (grinning): "Who do you think you're dealing with?" She picks up the soup, gives a sigh of God-I-don't-want-to-do-this and bravely takes a big mouthful. "Ladies, I hate to disappoint you, but I'm going to call your bluff." Marian grins and holds up the rat poison. Arlene grins even more widely and continues to spoon down the soup.
PV JAIL
Ryan asks Greenlee why she came to the jail -- to hurt him? To tell him about her grandfather's money? Well, she's done that and she can go now. Still wounded, she says that's not it. He asks if she thought that now that he was behind bars he would suddenly realize that he LOVES her? She says she knows better -- she just wanted him to say he was sorry. Ryan is incredulous. She wants an APOLOGY? For WHAT? She wants an apology after LYING to him over and over again? After her trying to ruin him and ID.com? Ryan: "This was the best idea that I've ever had, Greenlee! This was the only chance of making something for myself! What was it to you? What? A game? Control? Just a chance to lie at my expense? You went and begged your grandfather for millions the same way you would beg him for an ice cream cone or a pony!" She protests and he says she made the whole thing happen so she could tie to her and now she wants an APOLOGY from him? Ryan: "Are you INSANE? You have no idea -- no idea how human beings are supposed to communicate to each other, do you?" Greenlee's pain is palpable [and Rebecca Buddig acts circles around CM] as she tells him she loved every minute of it and so did HE! Ryan: "Not anymore! Greenlee, I am sorry this ever happened -- I'm sorry I ever met you! I want you out of my life! I never want to see you again! Get out!" She stares in horror as he figuratively slams the door on any hope of rekindled romance.
GERMAN HOSPITAL
Jake shakes as he plops back into his chair. Gillian urges him to wait until tomorrow after physical therapy [if she knew anything about PT, she'd know he's not going to feel much like walking after that session]. He shushes her and says he wants her to do this with him and he wants to try one more time. He's going to look right into her eyes and center himself on her as he pulls himself up. He slowly gets to his feet as they both concentrate really, really hard. Gillian lights up in a brilliant smile as she exclaims that he's STANDING! They hug [and I wonder if he's going to tumble to the floor, taking her with him]. Jake looks supremely relieved as they clutch each other.
PV HOSPITAL
Adam says he doesn't want to REPLACE Tad, he wants to WORK with him. Tad asks the question we are all thinking: "How much concrete landed on your head?" Adam says he LOVES the business and promises no dirty tricks or manipulations -- he wants people to know he's an honest man who runs an honest business. Tad looks at him skeptically with his hands on his hips and says Adam wants to do it for LIZA! Adam admits it. He loves her and thinks he could be good for her now -- and Junior and Colby and Hayley [no mention of Skye]. He humbly asks Tad to go to the board and ask them to reinstate him as part of a triumvirate. They can start over and benefit a lot of people if they do that. Tad: "Mostly YOU." He says he'll get back to him. Adam, at last, slips momentarily into his REAL skin and yells: "You'll get back to me? Who the hell do you --" Tad stares chastisingly at him with raised eyebrows . Adam grins and exhales, saying he guesses he doesn't have any more cards to play. Fine. Good. Tad will get back to him. Tad stares at him a little and then says he will. Adam stares at the closing door with subdued hope.
ADAM'S ATTIC
Liza takes the soup away and says it would be a good idea for Arlene to get some sleep. Arlene scoffs: "So I'll be all FRESH for Singapore Sam in the morning, right?" She tells them good night and says she'll be long gone by morning. Marian reads the rat poison and tells Liza that it's fast-acting and they should expect immediate results. She turns to Arlene and tells her she's right -- she'll be long gone by morning. Liza looks like this is a surprise to her and she's not happy about it. "Mother, you DIDN'T!" Marian says it's the only way and this way the remains will be quite easy to dispose of. Arlene continues to scoff at their efforts to scare her. Liza earnestly tells Marian that rat- poisoning is excruciatingly painful. Marian gives a flash of an evil smile as she looks at Arlene, then looks down and says she knows. She looks like thoughtful and suggests they leave because it won't be a very pretty thing to watch. She looks at Arlene and says she hopes it won't be too painful for her. She chuckles evilly and walks out. Liza gives an oops-my-bad look at Arlene and apologizes -- REALLY. She quickly leaves and loudly bolts the door.
Arlene sits down and tries to reassure herself that they are putting her on. She stands up and wonders why she's suddenly so dizzy. She takes a step, then doubles over in pain, gasping and gripping her belly. She looks at the rat poison box and exclaims that she's been POISONED! She makes heaving noises and grabs a convenient bucket a few steps away, then takes it over by the window and vomits her guts up.
PV JAIL
Greenlee is furious that Ryan won't apologize and snarls that she gave Ryan EVERYTHING and he BLEW it! He's too STUPID to know what he threw away! She should apologize to HERSELF for wasting a year of her life on him! He tells her she just wasted 2 more minutes since he told her to GET OUT! She tells him he'll REGRET this! When he finds himself picking up trash on the side of the road [isn't that for minimum security offenders?] he'll think of her and he'll BEG her to let him apologize to her. But she'll just tell to him ROT IN HELL! She flounces out and Ryan picks up a handy metal stool [shyeah, RIGHT!] and slams it to the floor.
GERMAN HOSPITAL
Gillian steps backward and Jake follows her. She is elated that Jake is walking! She wants to call for Joe, but Jake says he wants to savor the moment with just her. He tenderly kisses her forehead and pulls her into an embrace. She looks so guilty it's giving me a headache. The scene fades to Ryan sitting on the floor of his jail cell and whispering her name.
On the next AMC:
Adam, fully dressed and standing in the hospital corridor next to Mateo asks Liza: "What have you done to Arlene?"
Leo to Greenlee at the boathouse: "Why can't you just forget that Ryan Lavery exists?" Greenlee: "How am I supposed to forget him?" Leo grabs her face and kisses her.
Joe: "You're worried." Jake: "You bet I am."
Ryan to Gillian (through the cell bars): "Have you changed how you feel about us?"
Irreverently submitted,
Robin "looks like Arlene could really USE that soup" Coutellier
Previously on AMC
Jake: "Now that I have you by my side, I can get through anything."
Greenlee: "You've been set up like a 10-pack of bowling pins, Mr. Lavery. You want know who did the racking?" Ryan: "Who?" Greenlee: "You're looking at her."
Liza: "Just a little something for you to chew on, Arlene. I don't know how many people you're going to have to answer to, but just know that I'm high on your list."
PV HOSPITAL
Arlene, disguised in green scrubs and a mask (but wearing HUGE dangling earrings), sneaks into Adam's room and attempts to play "nurse", saying she has something for Adam's pain. Adam's eyes FLY open in horror when he recognizes her voice. He tells her it's OVER! She agrees -- his suffering and her fear of losing him IS over! He tries over and over to tell her that this chapter of their life is OVER, the charade is OVER, adios, vamoose, scram, get lost, hop a plane, take a bus, crawl, just LEAVE! Arlene just keeps shushing him, putting her thumb over his mouth, saying, "Bup-bup-bup bup-bup! Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup!" like he's a little boy. Adam grabs her wrist and yanks her hand away, hissing that he can't stand the SIGHT of her! He tells her to take the $500,000 he offered her and get out of his life! She quietly questions his thinking that it would be that simple. Arlene is very understated and quietly heartfelt during this scene (from this point on). He says he knows she can make it hard for him, but for once in her life she's going to take the high road. For once in her life? She points out that SHE's the one who brought Stuart back to him! Adam looks at her as if she's lost her mind -- SHE had Stuart LOCKED IN THE ATTIC! Arlene: "And I could have left him there, but I let him go because I wanted you to know that your brother was alive." Incredulous, Adam says she knew Stuart was alive for MONTHS and didn't tell anyone! She continues to rationalize everything (she didn't tell anyone about Stuart because he was HAPPY in Nevada, she didn't know what she was doing when she hit him because she was drunk), totally oblivious to the seriousness of what she's done. Adam rolls his eyes and snorts at her delusions. Arlene sits on his bed and starts to cry, saying that she did the right thing in the end. He tells her to leave, but she stays and says that she knows he thinks getting together with her was some sick, disgusting thing, but it was GREAT for her, and not just because of the money. She is truly pathetic as she tells him that it was nice to have a roof over her head and not feel like she had to be nice to someone for her next meal -- but it was great for her because he NEEDED her! Adam says he needed her because he wanted people to think he was a lost cause. Arlene shakes her head and grimly smiles and says "I don't care." [Folks, she is totally debasing herself here -- so much so that I started watching and updating this last Friday, but stopped partway through this paragraph because I was so uncomfortable to see her degrade herself this way. I didn't pick it up again until 8pm Sunday night. THIS is great acting!] She says that when they were together and in each other's arms, they were both alive again and he can't deny it. He yells that he's not going to argue with her any more -- if she agrees to an annulment, he'll give her the money. Arlene: "The only bargain that I remember is 'till death do us part.' And the only way I'm going to leave this marriage is with feet first!"
Outside Adam's room, Marian looks through the glass. Arlene's back is to her. She turns and tells Liza that Adam seems to be getting stronger. Liza glances into the room and wryly says that Adam is bucking doctor's orders. Marian urges her to go back into the room, but Liza serenely says there's no need at this point. They wander a few feet away from the door. Marian expresses a desire to get rid of Arlene in some way more humbling than a one-way bus ticket out of town, something slow and excruciating. Liza isn't worried about Arlene -- her days in PV are numbered.
Tad walks around the corner and informs them that Adam has requested to see him and he wonders if they know why (they don't). They say Adam is fine -- look for yourself. Tad looks through the door glass momentarily and starts to turn back, but whips around for a second take. Arlene's back is STILL to the door. He looks over his shoulder and asks the Colby women why Arlene is dressed like a doctor. They run over and realize it IS Arlene. Rather than go in, Liza stomps away a few feet, saying Arlene is RELENTLESS. She's ready to buy into a revenge scheme with Marian.
GERMAN HOSPITAL
Gillian walks into Jake's empty hospital room (the bed is so severely made that a chunk of concrete would probably be more enticing). She's on her cell phone, which keeps ringing. She's calling Ryan, but he's not answering and isn't calling her back. She wonders aloud why Ryan isn't picking up his messages just as Jake is wheeled back into the room. He's wearing a short robe with nicely muscled legs sticking out [he looks to be very much in control of said muscled legs]. His hair is carefully coifed in what must be at least a $75 style, and his cheeks are becomingly shaded with blush and highlighter. He tells Gillian that the tests went well and the swelling has gone down [his head DOES look smaller -- oh wait, he meant his spine]. The nurse chimes in that they are also about to start physical therapy. Jake says Gillian won't be there, though, because she'll be out shopping and taking advantage of her visit to Germany. Gillian declines and Jake tries to enlist the help of the nurse -- the nurse says that she'd choose being with her husband the hero over shopping. Jake's mood changes and he tells the nurse that he'll stay in the chair for a bit (effectively dismissing her). She leaves, pulling the amazing soundproofed curtain closed.
Jake tells Gillian he wishes everyone would cool this "hero" bit -- it's getting old fast! She says he IS a hero. He demurs, asking what else he could do once he got there? Gillian insists that he IS a hero -- HE'S the one who decided to go to Chechnya in the first place and it was a very selfless thing to do. Jake says he went so he could do something that mattered -- to feel like HE mattered. Once he got there, he was just as selfish and manipulative as Adam Chandler -- he went there to impress Gillian. She doesn't care -- to her he'll ALWAYS be a hero. As ominous cymbal music sounds, he says he would be happier just being her husband. Gillian stares at him.
PV JAIL
Ryan continues to question Greenlee: "YOU'RE the reason I'm in here? YOU set me up?" Greenlee nods and smugly smiles. Ryan, ever a sharp tack: "WHY?" She briefly lists the chain of events that landed her in hot water and him in a jail cell. [At this point I notice that there is a light INSIDE the jail cell, albeit covered with tiny little bars as if the light bulb is doing time. Whose supremely stupid idea was THAT?] Ryan asks what the HELL she's talking about! Greenlee: "Focus, Ryan! While I was helping you, risking my life, you were carrying on with your Hungarian whore! Your secret is OUT!"
PV HOSPITAL
Arlene is now sitting on the couch in Adam's room. Adam tells her that $500K is a lot of money and she should take it. She says she doesn't know how to convince him that it's NOT the money! She could have left Stuart in the attic and let Adam die -- she would have inherited BILLIONS, but she'd rather be his wife, not his widow [like he would have let her inherit that much money]. She walks over and begs him for a chance. He says Stuart says he should forgive everything she's done. Arlene (softly): "That's right." Adam says he WILL forgive her -- IF they part amicably. If she wants a fight, she'll get one. Arlene reverts to form at this point (and Tad and Liza slip into the room unnoticed) saying: "All right, well, then bring it on, baby! If all you're going to give me is cash, then I'm going to make sure I get every cent that is coming to me. Get ready for the ugliest divorce this country's ever seen! [worse than Burt & Loni?]" Arlene notices the entering duo and yells at them to get out so she can talk to her HUSBAND! Tad tells her she has a lot of nerve, especially considering how she's dressed. Liza talks softly and soothingly to Arlene, saying that Adam isn't well. She knows this can't be easy for Arlene. Arlene is suspicious and pugnacious. Adam watches, wide-eyed, silently wondering what's going on as he watches Liza. Liza says she's NOT pitying Arlene -- Stuart talked to her and convinced her that she should be more grateful and gracious to Arlene. Arlene backs down a little, confused: "Stuart says I shouldn't be blamed for what I did because--" Liza: "Yes, because you did the right thing in the end." Adam's eyes are back to normal, and you can tell the gears are turning as he takes this in, looking back and forth between the 2 women. Arlene (tentatively): "And I saved his life." Liza mentally grits her teeth, but is outwardly polite and civil as she agrees and thanks Arlene. Arlene turns to Adam and, part challenging, but mostly contrite and pleading, says: "See? Stuart AND Liza both think I'm not a terrible person." Adam quickly looks at her and back to Liza, realizing that Arlene is still deluded and that Liza is probably up to something. He feigns pain and closes he eyes. Arlene's chin quivers as she looks down at the floor in abject guilt and contrition. Liza says Adam needs his rest and offers to take Arlene home. Arlene concedes that she's very tired, having been up since the building collapsed. But she wants to stay. Liza soothingly tempts her with nice, warm, tasty food from Lucretia's kitchen as opposed to the hospital. Arlene almost gives in, saying she IS hungry [for booze?] She is grimacing throughout this scene, fighting off the tears. As Liza says: "Let's go," Arlene gets some spine back, lifts her chin and challenges Liza: "Uh ... you're being a little too nice to me." Liza, still eerily gentle, tells Arlene that it's time to set the animosity aside [but it sounds like she says enema-sity]. She thinks they should all greet Stuart back into the family and they should all try to be a little bit more like him. Arlene tries to read Liza's sincerity, then bites her lip and turns to Adam. She tells him she'll be back tomorrow. Adam, eyes still closed in feigned pain, doesn't respond. As Liza ushers her out, Arlene tells Tad not to stay too long because Adam needs his rest. Liza gives a meaningful look to Adam and Tad. Tad purses his lips and raises his eyebrows at Adam, whose eyes have flown open as he says: "My GOD, what is Liza going to DO to her?!" Tad: "I have no idea, but if I were Arlene, I'd leave a trail of breadcrumbs and start praying NOW." Adam raises his eyebrows and smiles slightly.
GERMAN HOSPITAL
The writers are working overtime to try to convince disillusioned viewers that Jake realizes what a jerk he's been and how reluctant he is to take the mantle of "hero". He tells Gillian he could have some something noble at home such as work in the inner city, but instead he jumped into the line of fire in Chechnya. [I notice something in the background that is probably supposed to be a big spotlight, but looks like a giant magnifying glass ala' "Fantastic Voyage" -- does Jake have boils that also need tending?] He tells Gillian that when he got there he was afraid and terrified that he was never going to see her or his family again [which must be why he mostly ignored her] and he wanted out of there quick! She says he stayed, though. He says it was because the kids desperately needed him. He talks about Paulina, the "little girl" they helped and says she reminded him very much of Colby. Gillian says he loved Colby very much, but he lost her -- he gave her up. He says he didn't have a choice, it was fate. But now he DOES have choices and has to start making the RIGHT ones. [One choice he should make is to instruct them to light him better -- there is a shadow just under the center of his nose that looks a little Hitleresque or, at minimum, like he's got a HUGE black booger hanging out] Gillian stares at him.
PV JAIL
The same graffiti that was on the wall the last time Adam and Tad were in the cell is still there. NOTE: Throughout the jail scenes, Ryan's eyes never stop bulging like Asok's in the Dilbert comics. Never one to figure out on which side his bread is buttered, Ryan yells at Greenlee to give him straight answers or GET OUT! [I didn't realize she was giving gay answers] She sweetly says all right, what does he want to know? He asks about the mob connections and she explains Mr. Midori's intent to bust Ryan, her borrowing money from Wade Randall to cover it, and the threats to her grandfather. Ryan yells that he had it COVERED [uh-huh] -- he KNEW what he was doing!!! [BWAHAHAHAHAAA!!!] As he rants and raves about it, Greenlee serenely nods -- she's actually subtly shimmying in delight as she relishes his predicament, still with that Mona Lisa smile on her face. The light dawns on Ryan as he realizes that Wade must have sent goons over to his apartment to trash it with baseball bats. Greenlee calmly tells him that it was an ax and that SHE did it. He is incredulous and demands to know why. She says she was angry at him for what he did, embezzling, taking that terrible risk and running off with Gillian, using "OUR company" to plan a future with HER. Ryan explodes: "***MY*** COMPANY!!" He shakes the bars to he cell, which move about 3" or more. He insists IncredibleDreams.com is HIS company -- it belongs to HIM! Greenlee: "As you never cease to point out to me." He says she never GETS IT, though! He asks himself why he ever kept her on board! She says it was because he needed a cover while he was carrying on with Gillian while her husband was in a war zone. He says he should never have rehired her when Midori insisted on it. Greenlee asks him why he thinks Midori wanted him on board, hmmmm? Furious, he ridicules her: "What, you think it's because of your brilliant resume, your entrepreneurial skills?" He asks that, if he's so smart, why doesn't HE figure it out. Smug and nasty, Ryan says: "Well, we know it had nothing to do with YOU!" [I am LOVING this!] He says it was obviously for her grandfather's name. She says he's close, but Midori didn't need HER to see the Greenlee name -- he could see it every week -- on his PAYCHECK. Ryan's smug look falters and he shakes his head a couple of times like a dog with a flea in it's ear and asks what she's saying. Greenlee is outright grinning like a Cheshire Cat now and tells him he might figure it out after 5-10 years. The light dawns on the dimbulb as he asks if the money to start his company came from her grandfather. With a look of grim satisfaction, Greenlee tells him that it's not HIS company, it's HER company -- it was bought and paid for by Greenlee money. Ryan stares at her.
Ryan protests that HE created ID.com -- it was HIS idea! [not the way *I* remember it -- it was GREENLEE'S idea and she let him THINK it was his idea] She said that's all it WOULD be is an idea if she hadn't pried a few million bucks from her grandfather -- who else would have bankrolled someone like HIM? He says she tried to buy him and it didn't work! She said it was because she loved him and believed in him. He says it didn't work, though, did it, because he NEVER loved her and never told her he did. She agrees -- he loved Gillian -- so much so that he dropped himself into a war zone for her. For what? To ask her husband for her hand in marriage? The light dawns on HER now as she realizes that she has hit upon the truth. He keeps telling her to leave Gillian out of it [shyeah, RIGHT!] Greenlee's pain surfaces as she says she doesn't get it -- when he was married to Gillian, she made his life a living HELL and now she's St. Gillian, Patron Saint of Goulash [BWAHAHAHAHAAA!!!] He yells at her to SHUT UP! [This phrase is getting a LOT of use on AMC these days] He doesn't even want her to say Gillian's NAME! Still hurt and bewildered, wondering what Gillian has that she doesn't, she says that he talks about Gillian the way she (Greenlee) used to talk about HIM, but Gillian is NOTHING - she cheated on her HUSBAND! [actually, she cheated on BOTH her husbands] He says she doesn't know what Gillian is like. Greenlee whines and asks what Gillian IS like. He says Gillian is NOTHING like HER. Gillian is kind, generous and tender and she makes Ryan want to be a better person and THAT'S why he would travel halfway around the WORLD for her! He backs away from the bars, which he's been gripping off and on like a deranged monkey, and wearily sits on the bed. Greenlee jeers at him, talking about how Gillian is with her HUSBAND the HERO orphan-rescuer now, not the jailed loser, Ryan. He says he's going to get out of this and all this is going to just GO AWAY. She tells him not to count on it. Ryan says Gillian LOVES him and will not turn her back on him.
GERMAN HOSPITAL
Jake tells Gillian she's changed since the last time he saw her in PV. There was something fragile about her (to him) and he felt a need to protect her. [Is that why you deserted her in the middle of the night, you COWARD?] He notes that she's more sure and confident in herself. [I note that the curtain keeps moving] He says she reminds him of Eugenia and she laughs deprecatingly and says she WISHES -- her grandmother has derived so much strength from so much that she's lived through. Jake says he, too, has survived something very tough and he wants to show her how he can use that strength to pull out of it. He takes her hand and pulls it toward him like he's trying to curl a 100lb weight and says he's ready to take a walk [I told you he had control of his legs] and he wants her to help him.
ADAM'S ATTIC
Arlene is being strong-armed into the attic by Liza, with Marian at their heels, weilding a baseball bat. The scrub suit is off and Arlene is in her silver lame' pants and charcoal halter top. She says she wants to go to her own room. Marian assures her that THIS is her NEW room. Arlene dives for the door, but a TOTALLY pissed off and truly frightening Liza grabs her by the back of her hair and spins her around, shoving her back into the room as Marian comes closer with the baseball bat poised for swinging. Arlene, having landed on something convenient for sitting, holds out her hand like a witch throwing a curse and they stop their menacing approach. Arlene haughtily asks whatever happened to being nice like Stuart? As Marian caresses and bounces the bat with grim glee, Liza says Arlene is going to be JUST like Stuart for a few days, locked in the attic, only this time it will be by 2 people who could care LESS if she lives or dies! Arlene stares at them like they are cobras, shrinking back slightly while trying to decide how serious her situation is.
[The 1/2-hour station break occurs and I'm really annoyed that they are STILL showing that STUPID montage of Mateo holding a rose -- don't think WE don't have suggestions as to what he can do with the rose, thorns and all!]
Arlene tries another lightning quick run for it, but Marian blocks the way with the bat as Liza yells at her like she's a recalcitrant horse. Arlene mutters that she was stupid to go with them. Liza agrees -- she was stupid because she was angry and frustrated, which made her vulnerable, not to mention an easy target. Marian: "Just like Stuart was, when you mowed him down." [Arlene keeps running her hands through her hair, and each time she does that it accentuates how painfully thin (but toned) her arms are and I wince each time!] Arlene starts to look scared as Liza adds Adam to the list of Arlene's targets -- she hits all her targets; she could be sitting on billions, but she choked and look at her now! Arlene acts bravely bored at their effort to lock her up to see the error of her ways. How long will it be? A day? Two? Liza and Marian pretend to mull it over, with lots of lip pursing and arm-crossing. Marian never lets up on emphasizing the bat in her hands. They back toward the door and Arlene says they can't do this to her -- people will miss her and start looking for her. Liza wonders who that might be? Hayley? Marian smugly tells Arlene that it's no use -- no one cares about her and they can do whatever they want to her. Arlene looks calculatingly at them for a moment, then makes another desperate lunge, this time for the leaded window and she yells for help. Marian tells her it's no use -- she and Stuart screamed their lungs out. Liza: "In the attic, they can't hear you scream." Arlene snorts in frustration and Liza chuckles. She tells Arlene to conserve her energy -- she'll need it in the morning. It dawns on Arlene that there's more torture to come. Marian suggests that she find something to cover herself with and a safe place to sleep because the attic is just RIDDLED with RATS! Great BIG rats! As Marian clomps out, Arlene tosses out that they can't scare HER -- she can take whatever they dish out. Liza sardonically says: "Really? Can you?" Liza walks out and Arlene's composure slips as she runs for the door calling Liza's name and ordering her to let her out! Liza takes grim satisfaction in hammering the deadbolt home. [Do these people EVER tire of kidnapping and imprisoning each other?]
PV HOSPITAL
[NOTE: MEK is having another one of his stiff, phoning-in-his-lines days] Tad walks back into Adam's room and Adam thanks him for waiting [what Adam had to take a leak?] Tad says he couldn't leave without knowing what Adam wanted. Adam wants to know what Tad is planning. Tad is puzzled. Adam elaborates and wants to know what Tad is going to do to punish him for his crimes. Tad says he'll have to talk to the board about it -- after all, the building is completely totaled. The D.A. probably has all kinds of things to charge him with, too, such as terrorism. Adam brushes those things off and says he's worried about TAD. TAD had been his enemy. [Had?] Tad says he has no need to go after Adam. He has to start thinking about Junior and Dixie -- Dixie was right all along -- there's nothing that they could do to him that he hasn't already done to HIMSELF. Adam: "So I've been granted a reprieve?" Tad wouldn't say that -- it looks Adam has completely destroyed his own life -- it looks like there's nothing left. Tad looks off into space and apologizes for enjoying saying that just a little too much. [Huh? He's acting so lifeless I'm amazed he hasn't collapsed into a puddle on the floor.] Adam tells him to be his guest [this docile Adam can't POSSIBLY last!] Tad says Liza may have been stringing Arlene along, but she's right -- it's a miracle that Stuart is still alive. They should all try to be a little more like Stuart. Adam: "By GOD, that's JUST what I need -- that's the only way I'm going to survive this!" He apologizes for his past transgressions. [Does anyone have any extra insulin -- I think I'm going into sugar-shock] Tad doesn't quite believe him, and gives a flash of grudging, yeah-whatever-you-say,-asshole smile in acceptance. Tad excuses himself, but Adam stops him and says it's not just his acts of violence -- he's been undermining Tad's work at Chandler Enterprises for MONTHS! Tad: "Oh jinkies, really?" Adam: "Really. Out of spite. Out of envy. But it didn't work. You're doing a terrific job. Profits are high. Morale is high. I acknowledge that. It's Liza's master stroke to have brought you in as a partner." [It's obvious now (to me) that Adam's head wounds have short- circuited his brain] Tad struggles with the once-in-a-lifetime compliment and says it's ... interesting ... to hear those words come out of Adam's mouth. Adam says that after he comes back, he wants Tad to stay on -- he'll make sure that Tad's position in the company is secure. MEK comes alive as Tad tries not to hurl as he tells Adam that it is very generous of him, but he's forgetting something -- the board ousted Adam MONTHS ago. Tad: "I'm in. And you're out. And that's ALL." Adam just lays there, nods and swallows in humble repentance and acceptance. [Fish and frogs rain from the sky as swarms of locusts attack all the plague victims streaming to the hospital -- people at the park run screaming in terror as Miller's Pond/Willow Lake turns blood red! Children point in wonder at the flying pigs and cows -- Tad rings for a nurse as monkeys fly out of Adam's butt!]
PV JAIL
Greenlee tells Ryan to stay in his dream world. Ryan says he's going get out and undo everything she's done to him. She says Wade Randall's a very scary man and she's going to sic him on Ryan. He wonders what he ever did to make her hate him so much. Greenlee she LOVED the company, but it didn't mean that much to HIM -- they created something together and he plundered it all for Gillian's sake and left her to clean up the mess. He turned his back on everything they made together and THAT'S why she can never forgive him! He asks what the company REALLY means to her and reminds her that she smashed the office to bits with an ax all because her FEELINGS WERE HURT! That's WHO SHE IS, and her precious "love" for him? If he had been foolish to love her back she would have SMASHED that too as soon as she got tired of it! She protests that she loved him more than anything in the WORLD -- she wishes he could know how much -- but now he never will!
ADAM'S ATTIC
Arlene stands on a chest and drops something breakable, then jumps down and stomps her feet, yelling hopefully for Winnefred as she hears something. Liza and Marian walk in, Liza bearing a tray of food and Marian bearing the ever- present baseball bat. Liza cheerily says it's just them -- they decided to bring her a little soup and a little book, "Jane Eyre" [since I've never read it, I'm sure I'm missing some delicious significance]. Marian sweetly adds that she's brought a box of rat poison for Arlene and holds out the box for emphasis. Arlene says she doesn't NEED them, and Liza caringly says they thought she might be cold and hungry and prey to rodents :-) Liza: "You know, I think you're going to like that book, especially that part about the crazy wife who's locked in the attic and burns to death." Marian: "Liza, don't give away the ENDING!" [BWAHAHAHHAAAAA!!!!!] Arlene crooks her finger and orders Marian to leave it [the rat poison] and GO. Marian smiles and does Arlene's bidding. Liza smiles at Arlene like a game show host and says: "You know, I think I'd rather be poisoned to death, but -- anyway, if we don't see you, good luck. Arlene picks up on the "if we don't see you" part and panics. Arlene asks if they are planning on going somewhere. Liza uber-innocently denies it and Marian off- handedly tells Liza not to give anything away as they start to walk out.
As verbose as this update already is, the following is just TOO, TOO delicious not to quote directly, especially for people who missed the show:
Arlene: "Wait. What are you two planning?" Marian, fondling the bat: "You'll find out soon enough, Arlene! Soon enough. [quietly] Liza, is everything set?" Liza, almost whispering in daughterly, conspiratorial chit-chat: "Yeah. You know, it was good that we had that 20,000 in the safe!" Marian: "20,000?" Liza: "Yeah." Marian: "That's pricey!" Liza: "20,000 just for the kidnapping. And the rest --" Arlene: "Wait, wait, what?" Liza (ignoring Arlene): "The rest was MORE." Arlene: "Wait. What are you talking about -- kidnapping and 'the rest'? I mean, what are -- what are you planning?" Marian glares at Arlene and says: "Look, the less she knows, the better, Liza." Arlene: "The less I know about what?" Liza (acting like a shy, but hopeful little girl): "Well, actually, it might be more fun if she knows, Mama!" Marian: "You know, darling, you're right!" Liza grabs the bat and walks into the attic again, explaining: "You see, before the sun comes up, you are going to have a special visitor. A man from Singapore." Arlene laughs and nervously tries to appear amused: "Singapore?" Marian: "That's right, where they cane people for the slightest crime, Arlene." Liza, now acting like a game show host letting the guest in on what she's won: "Your crime is not going to be slight. You are going to be convicted of drug smuggling and sentenced to 30 years hard labor!" She grins and giggles. Arlene: "That's impossible." Liza: "It is? You know, I would've thought so. But I was amazed! Chandler Enterprises has so much influence, Adam could get an annulment from you and never have to lay eyes on you ever again!" She sits down and expansively marvels at their incredible luck. Arlene: "Yeah, well, it won't work. You -- you can't get rid of me that easily!" Marian frowns: "Darling, she's right. It won't work. It's too risky." Arlene: "Yeah, listen to your mother." Marian: "Why don't you just terminate her here." Arlene, baffled: "What?" Marian: "Or should I say EX- terminate her here." Liza, whining like a little girl who has to clean her room: "You want ME to kill her?" Arlene: "What are you talking about?" Marian: "Well, it's the safest thing for all of us. Then we can just rest easy, darling." Liza: "Mama, I don't want to be the one to kill her! I mean, she's a human being." Marian: "Darling, there's absolutely nothing HUMAN about ARLENE!" Liza pouts and gives in, turning to Arlene and cheerfully offering a choice: "All right, what do YOU want? You want to be dead before sunup or 30 years hard labor?"
Arlene laughs and says they are just playing with her head. Did they think she would BEG for their forgiveness and then take the next bus out of town? Liza: "She's too smart for us, Mama." Marian (ruefully): "Oh, I think you're right, darling." Arlene: "Ok, good. So I'm going to eat this hot soup that you've brought me, and then I'm going to go to sleep. Get this [the rat poison] away from me!" Marian: "Oh, be careful, Arlene, it's open. Oh, and I DO hope none of it spilled into your soup -- by accident, of course." Arlene (grinning): "Who do you think you're dealing with?" She picks up the soup, gives a sigh of God-I-don't-want-to-do-this and bravely takes a big mouthful. "Ladies, I hate to disappoint you, but I'm going to call your bluff." Marian grins and holds up the rat poison. Arlene grins even more widely and continues to spoon down the soup.
PV JAIL
Ryan asks Greenlee why she came to the jail -- to hurt him? To tell him about her grandfather's money? Well, she's done that and she can go now. Still wounded, she says that's not it. He asks if she thought that now that he was behind bars he would suddenly realize that he LOVES her? She says she knows better -- she just wanted him to say he was sorry. Ryan is incredulous. She wants an APOLOGY? For WHAT? She wants an apology after LYING to him over and over again? After her trying to ruin him and ID.com? Ryan: "This was the best idea that I've ever had, Greenlee! This was the only chance of making something for myself! What was it to you? What? A game? Control? Just a chance to lie at my expense? You went and begged your grandfather for millions the same way you would beg him for an ice cream cone or a pony!" She protests and he says she made the whole thing happen so she could tie to her and now she wants an APOLOGY from him? Ryan: "Are you INSANE? You have no idea -- no idea how human beings are supposed to communicate to each other, do you?" Greenlee's pain is palpable [and Rebecca Buddig acts circles around CM] as she tells him she loved every minute of it and so did HE! Ryan: "Not anymore! Greenlee, I am sorry this ever happened -- I'm sorry I ever met you! I want you out of my life! I never want to see you again! Get out!" She stares in horror as he figuratively slams the door on any hope of rekindled romance.
GERMAN HOSPITAL
Jake shakes as he plops back into his chair. Gillian urges him to wait until tomorrow after physical therapy [if she knew anything about PT, she'd know he's not going to feel much like walking after that session]. He shushes her and says he wants her to do this with him and he wants to try one more time. He's going to look right into her eyes and center himself on her as he pulls himself up. He slowly gets to his feet as they both concentrate really, really hard. Gillian lights up in a brilliant smile as she exclaims that he's STANDING! They hug [and I wonder if he's going to tumble to the floor, taking her with him]. Jake looks supremely relieved as they clutch each other.
PV HOSPITAL
Adam says he doesn't want to REPLACE Tad, he wants to WORK with him. Tad asks the question we are all thinking: "How much concrete landed on your head?" Adam says he LOVES the business and promises no dirty tricks or manipulations -- he wants people to know he's an honest man who runs an honest business. Tad looks at him skeptically with his hands on his hips and says Adam wants to do it for LIZA! Adam admits it. He loves her and thinks he could be good for her now -- and Junior and Colby and Hayley [no mention of Skye]. He humbly asks Tad to go to the board and ask them to reinstate him as part of a triumvirate. They can start over and benefit a lot of people if they do that. Tad: "Mostly YOU." He says he'll get back to him. Adam, at last, slips momentarily into his REAL skin and yells: "You'll get back to me? Who the hell do you --" Tad stares chastisingly at him with raised eyebrows . Adam grins and exhales, saying he guesses he doesn't have any more cards to play. Fine. Good. Tad will get back to him. Tad stares at him a little and then says he will. Adam stares at the closing door with subdued hope.
ADAM'S ATTIC
Liza takes the soup away and says it would be a good idea for Arlene to get some sleep. Arlene scoffs: "So I'll be all FRESH for Singapore Sam in the morning, right?" She tells them good night and says she'll be long gone by morning. Marian reads the rat poison and tells Liza that it's fast-acting and they should expect immediate results. She turns to Arlene and tells her she's right -- she'll be long gone by morning. Liza looks like this is a surprise to her and she's not happy about it. "Mother, you DIDN'T!" Marian says it's the only way and this way the remains will be quite easy to dispose of. Arlene continues to scoff at their efforts to scare her. Liza earnestly tells Marian that rat- poisoning is excruciatingly painful. Marian gives a flash of an evil smile as she looks at Arlene, then looks down and says she knows. She looks like thoughtful and suggests they leave because it won't be a very pretty thing to watch. She looks at Arlene and says she hopes it won't be too painful for her. She chuckles evilly and walks out. Liza gives an oops-my-bad look at Arlene and apologizes -- REALLY. She quickly leaves and loudly bolts the door.
Arlene sits down and tries to reassure herself that they are putting her on. She stands up and wonders why she's suddenly so dizzy. She takes a step, then doubles over in pain, gasping and gripping her belly. She looks at the rat poison box and exclaims that she's been POISONED! She makes heaving noises and grabs a convenient bucket a few steps away, then takes it over by the window and vomits her guts up.
PV JAIL
Greenlee is furious that Ryan won't apologize and snarls that she gave Ryan EVERYTHING and he BLEW it! He's too STUPID to know what he threw away! She should apologize to HERSELF for wasting a year of her life on him! He tells her she just wasted 2 more minutes since he told her to GET OUT! She tells him he'll REGRET this! When he finds himself picking up trash on the side of the road [isn't that for minimum security offenders?] he'll think of her and he'll BEG her to let him apologize to her. But she'll just tell to him ROT IN HELL! She flounces out and Ryan picks up a handy metal stool [shyeah, RIGHT!] and slams it to the floor.
GERMAN HOSPITAL
Gillian steps backward and Jake follows her. She is elated that Jake is walking! She wants to call for Joe, but Jake says he wants to savor the moment with just her. He tenderly kisses her forehead and pulls her into an embrace. She looks so guilty it's giving me a headache. The scene fades to Ryan sitting on the floor of his jail cell and whispering her name.
On the next AMC:
Adam, fully dressed and standing in the hospital corridor next to Mateo asks Liza: "What have you done to Arlene?"
Leo to Greenlee at the boathouse: "Why can't you just forget that Ryan Lavery exists?" Greenlee: "How am I supposed to forget him?" Leo grabs her face and kisses her.
Joe: "You're worried." Jake: "You bet I am."
Ryan to Gillian (through the cell bars): "Have you changed how you feel about us?"
Irreverently submitted,
Robin "looks like Arlene could really USE that soup" Coutellier
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