[Hi everyone! Due to the annual Labor Day Jerry Lewis Telethon, Cat and many others missed Monday's show, so I'm stepping in to do this week's Monday update.]
Previously on AMC
In the Valley Inn lobby, Greenlee asks Leo if Vanessa is on board and he says it's full-steam ahead. She thanks him and says she owes him her life.
On the plane to Chechnya, Ryan tells Gillian she is NOT coming to Chechnya with them -- as soon as they can land they are going to find the nearest Red Cross station and turn her over to them.
Marian tells Scott she felt a shiver pass through her and it felt like Stuart was right there in the room with them.
At Pine Valley Park/Willow Lake/Grand Canyon/Lake Huron Stuart and the man who gave him a ride walk into a courtyard area and the man says: "Here we are!"
CHECHNYA
The camera opens op on an Icon on a wall. It appears to be an under-seige church. There are men trying to protect people on cots as bombs are heard exploding. Suddenly Gillian and Ryan burst into the door [which they don't bother to close behind them]. Two men spring up as Ryan and Gillian keep their distance and yell that they are Americans and are looking for a doctor. Ryan motions and yells that the gun at his belt is only for protection. [The other 2 men don't appear to have guns, anyway] Does anybody speak English? One of the men starts to speak French. Fortunately, Gillian speaks French [think she mangles French as much as she does English?] Gillian asks if he speaks French [didn't he just say something to you in French?] He says aye, but he speaks English. [Then why did he answer them in French?] Introductions are made (the man is named Luc [and he's wearing a wedding ring -- I wonder if HE writes to his wife]) and Ryan asks if the guy is with the Red Crost. He says no, he is an Independent and he stayed behind with some others to help. Ryan says he's trying to get Gillian over the border -- can anyone help? Luc says he cannot leave the wounded to help ONE healthy person! Someone moans and Luc excuses himself to help.
Gillian drags Ryan off to the side and yells at him to STOP IT! She's there and he should get used to it! She's not going back -- she's there because she WANTS to be there. He yells that it's not what HE wants! He tells her not to dare fight him on this. "Or what?" she says.
VALLEY INN LOBBY
Greenlee (wearing a dark lavender short sweater over a matching dress -- both the sweater and the dress are trimmed with a red horizontal stripe) again thanks Leo and asks for confirmation that Vanessa is on board. He says Vanessa has been looking for an "in" with him and this fills the bill. Don't thank him, though, until this is all over with. She tells him not to forget that this is all RYAN'S fault and he says they'll torture him for it later. They walk into the dining room and have a seat as Greenlee anxiously asks if Vanessa is set to make her entrance on cue. To recap for us, Greenlee says Wade (Campbell) is definitely out to use her grandfather's business as a cover and is already dreaming up new scams. Leo says that's good -- then if Wade buys this con, he'll get off Greenlee's back and they can resume their lives already in progress. He's suddenly startled and asks Greenlee what the hell her GRANDFATHER is doing there! They both stand up, horrified. Greenlee had told Wade that her grandfather was too sick to get out of bed -- if Wade sees him, they are TOAST!
CHANDLER LIVING ROOM
Arlene (wearing a rather drab blackish-gray patterned wrap-around top and matching flared pants of some chiffon-like fabric), is holding a drink and talking to Frank on the phone. She tells him he knows how "appreciative" she is -- he just thinks of the next step of the process and she'll think of the right way to thank him. She listens, then asks if he actually has people that would DO THAT? She LOVES the idea (whatever it is), but stipulates no work riots -- just something that would bring down Col-Mar. Adam walks into the room behind her as she whispers "Hmmm. Well, if that's what turns you on ... it'll be our secret." She hangs up, notices Adam and gushes a "Hi Sweetie!" He asks what the HELL she thinks she is doing? She gives him a sardonic "Who, me?" look.
MARIAN'S COTTAGE
Marian is pacing around the cottage that has somehow grown to near-stadium size over the last couple of years. Scott tells her to stop it. She does realize, doesn't she, that this is a long shot and a total leap of faith? She says: "What if Stuart is NOT on the other side?" Scott can't even CONSIDER that. They discuss whether or not the fishing lure was a sign from beyond. Maybe it was a sign from STUART! After all, WHY couldn't Frederick find Stuart on the other side? Scott: "Maybe he's a lousy psychic!" [You'd think a psychic would know how to get rid of lice] Marian says she's checked and everyone says he's the best there is. She thinks maybe Stuart is NOT DEAD! They both turn at a sound to see Liza at the front door looking appalled and saying "STOP IT, Mother -- PUHLEASE!!!"
CHURCH IN CHECHNYA
Ryan and Gillian continue to argue about her leaving. He asks if she wants to die there and she says she's not planning on either one of them dying. As a bomb hits close to the church, Ryan swings her around up against a wall [the bomb didn't injure them, but that slam into the wall had to hurt]. They continue to inanely argue about her presence [by now most of us are screaming "GET OVER IT!"] and how they can find Jake and tell him the truth and they can be free. They completely ignore the wounded people all around them [these are the two most selfish people on the PLANET]. Adrian, BTW, is nowhere in sight, nor is he mentioned. Two GI's with Red Cross armbands burst into the room bearing a wounded GI on a stretcher. Luc rushes over to them and speaks French to the patient. Gillian, at last noticing that some people have owies, says: "Poor man! I should help him!" Ryan tries to hold her back, but she rushes over to Luc and asks what she can do [that blouse is not going to stay blindingly white for long]. He has her hold a bandage over a wound. Luc says there is only ONE doctor left [gee, I wonder who that could be?] and leaves to look for him. The wounded man, desperate in the knowledge that his life now hangs by a thread in the hands of an utter bimbo, convulses and passes out. Gillian yells to Ryan that the man is in shock and to bring a blanket. He finds a conveniently clean, folded blanket on an empty cot and brings it to her. Everyone is breathing hard as he says she's right, there's no turning back now and they are in this together! He puts his hand over hers [not to help with the compression, just to touch her -- I'm surprised he's not nuzzling her neck].
CHANDLER LIVING ROOM
Arlene calmly wonders over Adam's hostility -- she TOLD him she'd help with his plan to destroy Col-Mar and that's what she's doing. Adam snarls that he DOESN'T like her MEDDLING! Arlene says that Frank is willing to do whatever it takes to cause trouble to that tower site. Adam (pouring himself a drink): "All thanks to your sweet charm, huh?" He grins and she grins back, saying he's right, and why is he smiling like that? Adam: "Well, you DO keep people out of my hair. And you SURE know how to DANGLE a BRIBE!" [The way he said this was GREAT! It brings to mind a picture of Arlene on a swing dangling something -- uh -- enticing -- next to someone's face] She says she knows how important it is to him to expose Tad and Liza as frauds, and then they can sit back and watch them slink off into the sunset together. Adam: "What do you mean, TOGETHER?" She says he's jealous. Liza with Tad, Tad with Liza -- however it's sliced, HE'S miserable.
MARIAN'S COTTAGE
Liza asks what Marian is DOING and Marian says she's following her heart, which has never failed her as far as Stuart is concerned [it failed you during that FIRST seance]. Liza wants to know where Marian even got the IDEA that Stuart is not dead. Marian and Scott both squirm and Scott finally says: "There's this psychic--" Liza explodes: "Oh, Mother, NOOOO!" Marian quickly extols Frederick's amazing abilities -- he's contacted Jenny and Cindy -- well, Cindy contacted HIM, but -- Liza: "Ok, you have this guy looking for Stuart." Marian says that's just the point, they've tried twice and Stuart's NOT THERE! She turns to Scott for assistance and Scott, embarrassed, just repeats what both of them have already said. When questioned by Liza, he says he doesn't know WHAT to believe. He throws up his hands and walks away. Marian volunteers that Cindy says they are looking in the wrong place. Liza, ever the understanding, loving and supportive daughter, says: " Mother, this is insane. All right, I hate to label you, but you're a fruitcake! There are entire industries of scam artists designed to sucker grieving widows like you." Marian is firm that that is NOT the case THIS time. Scott seems to be wavering and asks why, if Frederick was trying to con them, would he say Stuart is NOT on the other side? Liza jumps on "the other side" terminology and hammers home the details -- she SAW the cabin burnt to the ground -- they found the wedding ring -- they found the BODY! Marian: "They found **A** body!" [At LAST someone says it out loud!] Scott: "What if it wasn't HIS body?" Liza says they found Stuart's blood on Stuart's jacket. "Stuart is DEAD, Mama." Marian firmly says that she knows Liza believes what she's saying, but she doesn't know what she's talking about.
VALLEY INN DINING ROOM
Leo asks what Woody's doing out in his condition, anyway. Greenlee says that's a good point -- she can use it. She clops over to Woody puts a restraining hand on his chest and asks what he's doing there -- shouldn't he be at home with his feet up. He says she scared the Bejesus out of him! A beautiful woman walks up and tells Woody the table he requested is almost ready. Greenlee turns to Woody and tells him he should be ashamed of himself! He's baffled at first, then realizes what she's talking about and says it's not what she thinks -- Miss Hastings and he are there on business. He introduces them and Greenlee says: "I'm his granddaughter -- my pleasure is mine." [a blooper that actually fits better than the intended dialogue] Greenlee drags him off for a private word [Miss Hastings moves right along with them -- LOL] She scolds him for not being in bed and he reiterates the need for a business meeting. There's a big merger coming up! Greenlee threatens to tell Grandmother. Woody (worriedly): "Tell her WHAT?" Greenlee says: "You come this close to checking out, and then the next thing she knows, you're out wheeling and dealing with a balance sheet in one hand and a scotch in the other!" Miss Hastings chimes in that Greenlee knows him well. Greenlee says his wife knows him, too, and she's not going to be happy he's drinking against doctor's orders. [Am I the only one embarrassed for Woody that his granddaughter is treating him like a baby in front of a business associate?] Greenlee says Grandmother is at the Glamorama right now, isn't she? He knew she would be gone for a few hours and he slipped out of the house. Miss Hastings says Greenlee's got him on THAT one. He agrees his heart WAS racing a bit and Greenlee orders him to go home to bed, NOW. Miss Hastings says business can wait and she leaves to get the car. Greenlee hugs him fiercely and says she'd lose it if anything happened to him. He's perplexed and reassures her nothing is going to happen to him. She shoos him out and returns to Leo. They wonder if Woody got out in time. Since Wade just showed up, they'll just have to wait and see. Greenlee says if Wade DID see her grandfather, he's going to want an introduction, and that's NOT going to happen. She plasters a big smile on her face and calls to Wade, who is schmoozing with a woman by the door.
Everyone's voice is dripping icicles as Greenlee introduces Leo and assumes they've met. Wade says they've traveled in the same circles. He was expecting a) a meeting with her grandfather, and b) in lieu of that, they would at least be ALONE. Leo is crossing his arms like he's trying to hold 50lb sacks of potatoes under each one (or is trying to ward off massive belly cramps), and his nose is so far up in the air that the oxygen masks should drop any second. He crosses his legs tighter than Becca could ever hope to try and leans way back in what he thinks is a casually threatening manner. He sniffs to Wade that he's known for his discretion. Wade says that is one thing he HADN'T heard about him. Greenlee says that Leo is a freelance consultant and knows all her business. Wade: "Lucky him. Now, about your grandfather ..." Greenlee and Leo insist that Woody is very sick and completely bedridden, but that doesn't mean the money won't be paid back -- it will just take a little more time. Wade seems like such a patient man. Wade: "It's an act."
Vanessa walks up wearing a brilliant red suit and carrying what appears to be a red bucket. She's wearing a really weird-ass necklace that has a single strand branching off the front of it that consists of about 3" of red ropy stuff alternating with gold balls and it goes all the way down to her crotch. [I wouldn't want to be wearing THAT and get anywhere near anything that rotates -- well, I wouldn't want to be wearing THAT in ANY case]. As she simpers back and forth, the chains swings wildly, almost thwapping Greenlee in the face. She pretends she didn't know Leo was dining there that afternoon and asks to be introduced to their friend. Leo says they are having a business meeting and now is not a good time. She tells him to be nice and in a pouting, long-suffering manner, he introduces them. Wade is suave, of course. Leo again reminds her that they are in the middle of something. She charmingly says she's obviously embarrassing her son, so maybe they will meet another time. Leo makes a show of watching her walk away and shakes his head like he just can't believe she would do that. He turns to Wade and asks what the rush is and why he can't give Greenlee a little more time. Wade wants to know Leo's connection to Cortlandt Electronics. Leo says it has nothing to do with CE. Greenlee jumps in: "Not yet .... maybe it could." Wade says he likes the way Greenlee thinks. Leo says Palmer Cortlandt is not interested in the way Wade does business, and neither is his mother, so don't even THINK about it! Wade says he's way past just THINKING about it! Greenlee turns a hopeful face to Leo: "Leo?" He tells her to FORGET IT -- the Cortlandts are OFF LIMITS! Wade: "Pity."
CHANDLER LIVING ROOM
Adam says ARLENE is the one who is jealous of Tad and Liza. She tells him to admit it -- he still has feelings for Liza. Adam: " Of course I do: contempt, loathing, disgust. Why do you think I'm trying so hard to destroy everything that Tad and Liza are building?" She says she doesn't know WHY -- there's no simple answer with him! Adam, scowling mightily, says: "Well, there is THIS time!" Arlene puts her drink down, sidles her bony body over to him on the couch and puts her arm around him, saying she loves it when he gets angry -- all his muscles get tense! Ignoring her touch, Adam says: "With you, everything -- EVERYTHING is a prelude to sex!" Arlene: "Ooh, and I'm sure you hate the way that I know all the right places to touch you. Hmmmm?" Adam, starting to relent to his baser nature, but not wanting to: "Stop! Just stop!" She kisses his neck. Arlene: "Yeah, hate -- hate my lips on your neck. And the thought of my skin and my naked body under you ..." He explodes [no, not THAT way] and shoves her away: "Get off me, get off!" He holds up a hand and won't look at her, like he's warding off Medusa. Arlene gets pissed off: "You will never get over Liza. Never. You don't even want to!" He looks at her with a "Yeah, what's it to you?" look of contempt, mixed with knowing she's right and he doesn't want that to be the case. He curls his lip at her for a split-second and turns away.
CHURCH IN CHECHNYA
[BTW, based on the icons on the walls (which are conveniently blurry), I'd say it was a Russian Orthodox church -- if we see a cross with an extra, slanted little crossbar on the bottom of it, we'll know for sure.] Luc returns with a bandage and scissors [what, no international coffee?], saying the doctor, he eez coming and he thanks them for their help. Gillian asks if the man will survive and Luc says the doctor has saved MANY he thought were lost. Gillian's hands and the bottom of her blouse are now bloody. She tells Ryan she had no idea what she was getting herself into [gee, ya think?] She had no idea what Jake was doing there. She apologizes to Ryan for causing more trouble and he rubs her arms like he's trying to build up a really BIG static charge, saying he's just grateful that they are both okay. He is overwhelmed by being around all these people struggling to stay alive. Gillian: "Makes you realize how precious life is. I don't want us to waste any more time." [I'm wondering if that means they are going to start humping up against the wall in the midst of bombs falling and people dying] He pulls her into his arms and pets her hair as she wallows. Ryan: "We're not going to. Princess, we're going to find Jake. We're going to tell him the truth, and then we're going to get out." Gillian: "It's not the happy ending we've been dreaming about." Ryan: "We're going to make it happy. Ok? As long as I get you in the end." They kiss passionately [and I wonder if there are any condoms among the medical supplies] In the other room, Luc calls out that the doctor is there. The doctor says: "Let's tank him up, normal saline!" Gillian and Ryan break their kiss and she turns disbelievingly at the voice. Ryan: "Gillian?" She creeps around the corner, bracing herself with her bloody hand on the wall. She sees a helmeted GI working on the patient and talking doctor-speak. Luc runs off to do something and Gillian creeps toward the doctor. The doctor takes off his helmet and takes the patient's pulse, saying he's in good hands. As Jake looks at his watch, Gillian calls out: "Jake?" Jake turns his head toward her [JUST as a phone rings elsewhere in my house, making me wonder if Jake's watch is ringing]. It's a new actor, J. Eddie Peck. Looks cute, so far [Unfortunately, he WILL have Jakey dialogue eventually].
Jake runs to Gillian and hugs her tightly, picking her up and twirling her around. What in the world is she doing there? He kisses her as Ryan watches uncomfortably from around the bend. Jake turns to someone off-camera and happily explains that it's his wife [did any of the other people there see Gillian and Ryan kissing and professing their undying love for each other?]. Gillian is ecstatic and says she can't believe "WE" found him. Jake has to turn to the patient, but is stopped by the sight of Ryan. Jake, the cuckold, is happy to see Ryan, but tells him to hang on so he can tend to the patient. He asks what's going on and they blitheringly try to explain why they are there. Jake finally picks up on the "we" part and asks who else is there. They said Adrian got them there and Jake is surprised that Adrian is back. Gillian says they came to take him home. Jake finally gets his wits back and says at least he HAS a home -- there are 16 orphaned kids there that are not so lucky. Ryan says they brought supplies and Adrian's working on a chopper to evacuate ALL of them. Jake asks if they are the Cavalry. He is called over to another patient and says he doesn't know what possessed them to come all this way, but he's damned glad they are there (to help). Gillian and Ryan look at each other, partly ashamed, but mostly thinking "NOW what do we do?" Gillian appears to leaning toward the "what were we THINKING? We can't do this right NOW!" frame of mind.
MARIAN'S COTTAGE
Liza, more softly, but still firm, asks Marian if she really BELIEVES that Stuart is still alive. Marian stubbornly says she believes that they don't have all the right answers. Liza reminds her of how hard everyone has worked to accept this and Marian says NO ONE has worked harder than SHE has. Liza goes to make tea and says they'll all sit down and figure it out. Marian sniffles and asks Scott if she's crazy. He says he wouldn't use that word. She BELIEVES in something. Marian babbles about feeling close to Stuart and says she needs to find something from Stuart's childhood. Scott questions the obvious and says she's going to meet with Frederick again. She says Liza may very well be right, but she HAS to do this. Scott sums it up for her, saying she's got to know one way or the other and she emphatically confirms it. He asks what she needs him to do and she kisses him gratefully. She asks him to cover for her with Liza. He says if Liza asks where she went, he'll be vague. [ROTFL! He should be good at THAT!]
Liza returns with a tray of tea fixings and Scott explains that Marian had an errand she had to do. Before Liza and react to that, her cell phone rings. It's someone calling to tell her that the entire labor force just walked off the job at the Col-Mar Tower. [Doesn't Chandler Enterprises have anything else to do besides babysit this construction project?] She stomps out muttering about them being cursed with this building.
CHANDLER LIVING ROOM
Arlene, who NEVER knows when to shut up, throws up her arms and needles Adam: "Just say it! You think about her ALL the time!" Adam says he wants her to SHUT UP [I told you] about Liza! He jumps up from the couch and walks away. Arlene softens and says: "Look, Adam, you're tired. Why don't you go to the bar, close up early, and come home and get into bed? Adam: "So we're back to the subject of bed again?" She gently reminds him that beds are also for resting -- he's been going full-throttle and it's time for him to take it easy. He says he's never been very good at that. She tells him that the work stoppage will render the Col-Mar Tower DOA and Tad and Liza will finally be finished. [Hmmm, lost a few million dollars? Easy come, easy go. At worst, they'll have to lay off some totally innocent, hard-working people so they can continue to play games with Adam.] She tells him to go close the bar and come home and they'll drink a toast to a job well-done. Adam: "All right. But I'm not in the mood to fight off another seduction when I get back." Arlene: "I'll be a Girl Scout" [ROTFL! I can only imagine the kind of badges SHE'D earn and the kind of knots she can tie!]
VALLEY INN DINING ROOM
Wade tells Greenlee that if Leo won't be flexible with the Cortlandt connection, then he and Greenlee have a schedule to keep. Vanessa looks on from another table. Greenlee asks for another 7-10 days. Wade orders her to give him what she OWES him. He says he'll be in touch and grimly walks away. Vanessa ducks behind her hand as he walks by. Leo turns to Greenlee: "We have ignition." Vanessa picks up her red bucket and walks out, her chain smacking into her swaying hips and points in-between [is this some new kind of sex toy?] As she quickly walks past Wade, who is waiting for her, he calls out and she stops to talk to him. They re-introduce each other and he comments on Leo's rudeness. Vanessa says you can only do so much before they leave the nest. He asks her for a drink. She reluctantly agrees to spare a couple of minutes and they sit in the lobby near the brochures listing the sights of PV. He guesses she prefers Madeira. She says he guessed right -- is that due to good breeding or careful study? Wade: "Well, let's just you're in good hands with me, Vanessa." She simpers and reaches into her bucket to answer the cell phone. [I think it really IS a bucket. It sure clanked like one when she opened it. The inside lid of it either reflected her hands very well, or it is mirrored.]
Naturally, it's Leo calling. Leo: "Hello, Vanessa. This is your teleprompter calling. My name is Palmer. Say hello, darling." Vanessa: "Palmer, darling! Yes! I do need you to call me more than three times a day! Where are you?" Leo: "Very good. You've missed me, I'm sure." Vanessa: "Yes. Nothing's the same without you around." They continue in this vein, with her dropping clues about buying jets for 40-50 million, but that includes the crew. She reminds Palmer/Leo that she has check-writing privileges. Leo tells her not to let Wade ask too many questions and hangs up on her. She tells the empty air that she loves him too and ends her side of the call. She confides to Wade that her husband has her doing a million and one things for him, but she loves it. She postpones the drink and he suggests they reschedule because he has a business proposition for her. She says she looks forward to it.
Vanessa rushes over to Leo's table [how obvious is THAT?] Leo tells her she hasn't lost her touch and she says she wanted to get back into his good graces and, BTW, how did she do. Leo snaps that he'll let her know if Wade bites. Vanessa grits her teeth at his ungratefulness and tells him to let her know when it's time for a second round. She turns to Greenlee and informs her that, despite their problems, she DEARLY LOVES her son and she trusts that Greenlee knows what she's doing. Greenlee looks slightly stricken and Leo tells Vanessa they have it under control. Vanessa says she hopes so and leaves, carrying her bucket and trying not to let her chain hit it.
Greenlee tells Leo he is DEFINITELY paying a price for dealing with Vanessa. He that's ALWAYS the case when dealing with Vanessa, but it's okay if it keeps Greenlee out of trouble. She thanks him and he says: "What can I say? You're scary when you're desperate." Greenlee: "What do you mean, "scary"?" Leo: "Let me -- let me rephrase. You turn into an ax-swinging psychopath when you're desperate." She laughs deliciously and asks if he ever talked to Becca about blowing her off that night. He tells her Becca didn't buy his explanation and dumped him. Greenlee is stunned and says Becca is tripping. She demands Becca's phone number to talk some sense into her. Leo tells her not to bother. Besides, shouldn't Greenlee be kicking up her heels? She says that doesn't mean she gets a thrill watching him and Becca go up in flames. He points out that she didn't like him and Becca together any more than he liked her wasting her time on Ryan. They drink to being lonely and miserable ... and happy.
CHURCH IN CHECHNYA
Gillian helps Jake with a patient while Ryan moodily holds up a saline drip and watches them work together. She tells Jake how much everyone has missed him at home and how everyone (Ruth and Joe and Tad and Dixie) all worried so much about him. He grunts. Now that she's there, she realizes it was far worse than she ever imagined. Jake fills us in on his situation: "When I was on my way to help at a children's hospital north of here, it was bombed. There were 16 survivors, all kids. And I treated them as far as I could, and we've got them here, and now we're trying to get them to a hospital." Gillian says they thought he was closer to the Argun River and that's probably where Adrian is. Jake says they WERE there, but heard the Red Cross was going to be here (near the church) so they left, but the RC had already left by the time they got there. He yells for assistance, saying the guy is ready to be moved. Ryan says Adrian will probably figure out where they are and will head that way. Jake asks if Adrian is making arrangement for a chopper for "all my kids" [he has a flock of baby goats?] He says he's going to go prep his children. He thanks Ryan and Gillian and says he doesn't know why they came all this way, but he's glad they did. He leaves the room and bombs continue to explode nearby. Gillian tells Ryan there's no way she can tell him now. He agrees and says they should just concentrate on getting everyone out of there. Jake comes back into the room carrying a babuska-wearing girl of about 12 and introduces her to them as Paulina. A bomb explodes nearby and everyone ducks. The girl is very frightened and Jake tries to soothe her by reminding her of the song they sing whenever they are scared. They start singing Itsy-Bitsy Spider. Gillian watches them, her heart breaking at the sight of Jake comforting the child and seeing how desperately the girl is clinging to him and trusts him.
CHANDLER LIVING ROOM
Arlene, now dressed in a light pink negligee with a sheer black lace robe, is lighting candles and icing champagne in the living room, saying: "You can erase Liza from your mind if you could. You just need a little help is all." She hears a car drive up and walks expectantly to the door holding 2 glasses of champagne. She's disappointed to see Vanessa walk in saying that the door was open. Vanessa grabs one of the glasses and says it's been a LONG day. Before she can sip it, Arlene grabs it back and yells at her to get out. Vanessa simply rolls her eyes and says "Oh my!", then strolls past Arlene into the living room. Vanessa: "Oh, my. Well, all this for your long-suffering, silver-haired barkeep?" She tells Arlene she wants her money and if Arlene wants her to keep quiet when Adam shows up, she suggests that Arlene pay up IMMEDIATELY. Arlene glares at her.
CHURCH IN CHECHNYA
Gillian turns to Ryan and painfully tells him that Jake used to sing that to Colby. Ryan just nods. Jake holds out his hand to Gillian and she comes over to sit with him and Paulina. Jake holds both of them in a loving, protective embrace as Ryan stares at them with a look of futility.
VALLEY INN DINING ROOM
Leo and Greenlee toast each other: Leo: "May Ryan roast in DotCom hell for what he did to you." Greenlee: "And may Becca be a virgin the rest of her life! Leo: "Ooh, that's actually pretty harsh." Greenlee: "That big-haired old maid deserves what she gets!" Leo: "They both do." They drink up and he pours more champagne. Leo: "For you, my friend, who is now strong enough to overcome love. Congratulations." Greenlee: "May you learn from my mistakes." Leo: "And you from mine." Greenlee: "That's why we have each other." They smile at each other.
PINE VALLEY PARK / WILLOW LAKE / HOOVER DAM
Scott walks into the courtyard area just as Junior kicks a ball to him and yells at him to catch it with 2 hands. Scott asks him why he's trying to drop-kick innocent bystanders. They bond by playing some and talking about summer being over and school about to start. Junior says it's weird, like something's changed over the summer and nothing's ever going to be the same. Scott feels the same way. Scott asks after Adam, but Junior says he's on another PLANET. Scott says Tad's probably pretty busy, too. Junior hesitates, then asks if Scott misses doing stuff with his dad. Scott says he does -- he'd always looked forward to the summer when they would be able to spend lots of time together. They would fish, mostly -- pitch a tent and stay up all night laughing -- sleep in until noon. Junior says his dad was always way too serious about that stuff. Scott says Stuart used to try and tell him to chill out, but Adam couldn't do it. Junior sits on the bench and agrees, saying that at least Adam would LISTEN to Uncle Stuart. Junior: "It's not the same as you, but I feel like my dad just isn't here anymore." Scott sits on the ball and says Junior's right, but he's got to learn to deal with stuff he can't control. They both say they are trying and they walk off together, with Scott taking Junior under his wing. They walk out through the gate and the camera pans to a fishing pole leaning up against a nearby fence.
CHANDLER LIVING ROOM
Arlene asks why blackmail threats always sound so crude. Vanessa: "Ha-ha! Well, because they are, dear. Now, just pay me what you owe me and Adam never need find out that you lied to him about his brother being alive." Arlene reluctantly gives up, grabs her purse and hands Vanessa a paltry few hundred dollars. Vanessa laughs scornfully and says she and her son are working on a very high-profile case and she has to look the part! Vanessa: "Arlene, we had a deal. Now, don't cross me. It appears to me that all of this hinges on Adam's staying in the dark about Stuart, so in order to shut me up, you have to either pay me or -- kill me! Arlene: "Or shove an apple in it." They both smile, baring fangs. Vanessa: "I think it would be far easier for you just to pay me -- KITTEN." Arlene: "All right! All right!" Arlene reaches in her purse, but the doorbell rings and she stashes Vanessa out of sight around the corner. She opens the door to see Stuart standing there, wearing Adam's fishing vest. She mistakes him for Adam and looks questioningly at the fishing outfit. Stuart gushes: "Hi!!! You remember me! I'm Stuart!" As the realization dawns on her, Arlene's heart sinks, along with her face. Vanessa gasps at this new twist. Stuart grins and lolls his head like a little puppy.
On the next AMC:
Stuart looks around the Chandler mansion in awe and says he feels like he's home -- this must be where he BELONGS! Arlene stares at him with a this-can't-be-happening face as Vanessa's ears perk up.
At Erica's house, as Bianca grins at Leo, he tells Erica that he's just been informed that they have to cancel Bianca's party.
In Chechnya, Jake watches in slow-motion as a ski-mask clad assassin points a gun -- Gillian helps someone on the ground and Jake tosses aside a backpack.
Ryan (with Gillian lying inert on the ground) draws and fires his weapon (having had no training whatsoever)
Irreverently submitted,
Robin "bombs away" Coutellier
Previously on AMC
In the Valley Inn lobby, Greenlee asks Leo if Vanessa is on board and he says it's full-steam ahead. She thanks him and says she owes him her life.
On the plane to Chechnya, Ryan tells Gillian she is NOT coming to Chechnya with them -- as soon as they can land they are going to find the nearest Red Cross station and turn her over to them.
Marian tells Scott she felt a shiver pass through her and it felt like Stuart was right there in the room with them.
At Pine Valley Park/Willow Lake/Grand Canyon/Lake Huron Stuart and the man who gave him a ride walk into a courtyard area and the man says: "Here we are!"
CHECHNYA
The camera opens op on an Icon on a wall. It appears to be an under-seige church. There are men trying to protect people on cots as bombs are heard exploding. Suddenly Gillian and Ryan burst into the door [which they don't bother to close behind them]. Two men spring up as Ryan and Gillian keep their distance and yell that they are Americans and are looking for a doctor. Ryan motions and yells that the gun at his belt is only for protection. [The other 2 men don't appear to have guns, anyway] Does anybody speak English? One of the men starts to speak French. Fortunately, Gillian speaks French [think she mangles French as much as she does English?] Gillian asks if he speaks French [didn't he just say something to you in French?] He says aye, but he speaks English. [Then why did he answer them in French?] Introductions are made (the man is named Luc [and he's wearing a wedding ring -- I wonder if HE writes to his wife]) and Ryan asks if the guy is with the Red Crost. He says no, he is an Independent and he stayed behind with some others to help. Ryan says he's trying to get Gillian over the border -- can anyone help? Luc says he cannot leave the wounded to help ONE healthy person! Someone moans and Luc excuses himself to help.
Gillian drags Ryan off to the side and yells at him to STOP IT! She's there and he should get used to it! She's not going back -- she's there because she WANTS to be there. He yells that it's not what HE wants! He tells her not to dare fight him on this. "Or what?" she says.
VALLEY INN LOBBY
Greenlee (wearing a dark lavender short sweater over a matching dress -- both the sweater and the dress are trimmed with a red horizontal stripe) again thanks Leo and asks for confirmation that Vanessa is on board. He says Vanessa has been looking for an "in" with him and this fills the bill. Don't thank him, though, until this is all over with. She tells him not to forget that this is all RYAN'S fault and he says they'll torture him for it later. They walk into the dining room and have a seat as Greenlee anxiously asks if Vanessa is set to make her entrance on cue. To recap for us, Greenlee says Wade (Campbell) is definitely out to use her grandfather's business as a cover and is already dreaming up new scams. Leo says that's good -- then if Wade buys this con, he'll get off Greenlee's back and they can resume their lives already in progress. He's suddenly startled and asks Greenlee what the hell her GRANDFATHER is doing there! They both stand up, horrified. Greenlee had told Wade that her grandfather was too sick to get out of bed -- if Wade sees him, they are TOAST!
CHANDLER LIVING ROOM
Arlene (wearing a rather drab blackish-gray patterned wrap-around top and matching flared pants of some chiffon-like fabric), is holding a drink and talking to Frank on the phone. She tells him he knows how "appreciative" she is -- he just thinks of the next step of the process and she'll think of the right way to thank him. She listens, then asks if he actually has people that would DO THAT? She LOVES the idea (whatever it is), but stipulates no work riots -- just something that would bring down Col-Mar. Adam walks into the room behind her as she whispers "Hmmm. Well, if that's what turns you on ... it'll be our secret." She hangs up, notices Adam and gushes a "Hi Sweetie!" He asks what the HELL she thinks she is doing? She gives him a sardonic "Who, me?" look.
MARIAN'S COTTAGE
Marian is pacing around the cottage that has somehow grown to near-stadium size over the last couple of years. Scott tells her to stop it. She does realize, doesn't she, that this is a long shot and a total leap of faith? She says: "What if Stuart is NOT on the other side?" Scott can't even CONSIDER that. They discuss whether or not the fishing lure was a sign from beyond. Maybe it was a sign from STUART! After all, WHY couldn't Frederick find Stuart on the other side? Scott: "Maybe he's a lousy psychic!" [You'd think a psychic would know how to get rid of lice] Marian says she's checked and everyone says he's the best there is. She thinks maybe Stuart is NOT DEAD! They both turn at a sound to see Liza at the front door looking appalled and saying "STOP IT, Mother -- PUHLEASE!!!"
CHURCH IN CHECHNYA
Ryan and Gillian continue to argue about her leaving. He asks if she wants to die there and she says she's not planning on either one of them dying. As a bomb hits close to the church, Ryan swings her around up against a wall [the bomb didn't injure them, but that slam into the wall had to hurt]. They continue to inanely argue about her presence [by now most of us are screaming "GET OVER IT!"] and how they can find Jake and tell him the truth and they can be free. They completely ignore the wounded people all around them [these are the two most selfish people on the PLANET]. Adrian, BTW, is nowhere in sight, nor is he mentioned. Two GI's with Red Cross armbands burst into the room bearing a wounded GI on a stretcher. Luc rushes over to them and speaks French to the patient. Gillian, at last noticing that some people have owies, says: "Poor man! I should help him!" Ryan tries to hold her back, but she rushes over to Luc and asks what she can do [that blouse is not going to stay blindingly white for long]. He has her hold a bandage over a wound. Luc says there is only ONE doctor left [gee, I wonder who that could be?] and leaves to look for him. The wounded man, desperate in the knowledge that his life now hangs by a thread in the hands of an utter bimbo, convulses and passes out. Gillian yells to Ryan that the man is in shock and to bring a blanket. He finds a conveniently clean, folded blanket on an empty cot and brings it to her. Everyone is breathing hard as he says she's right, there's no turning back now and they are in this together! He puts his hand over hers [not to help with the compression, just to touch her -- I'm surprised he's not nuzzling her neck].
CHANDLER LIVING ROOM
Arlene calmly wonders over Adam's hostility -- she TOLD him she'd help with his plan to destroy Col-Mar and that's what she's doing. Adam snarls that he DOESN'T like her MEDDLING! Arlene says that Frank is willing to do whatever it takes to cause trouble to that tower site. Adam (pouring himself a drink): "All thanks to your sweet charm, huh?" He grins and she grins back, saying he's right, and why is he smiling like that? Adam: "Well, you DO keep people out of my hair. And you SURE know how to DANGLE a BRIBE!" [The way he said this was GREAT! It brings to mind a picture of Arlene on a swing dangling something -- uh -- enticing -- next to someone's face] She says she knows how important it is to him to expose Tad and Liza as frauds, and then they can sit back and watch them slink off into the sunset together. Adam: "What do you mean, TOGETHER?" She says he's jealous. Liza with Tad, Tad with Liza -- however it's sliced, HE'S miserable.
MARIAN'S COTTAGE
Liza asks what Marian is DOING and Marian says she's following her heart, which has never failed her as far as Stuart is concerned [it failed you during that FIRST seance]. Liza wants to know where Marian even got the IDEA that Stuart is not dead. Marian and Scott both squirm and Scott finally says: "There's this psychic--" Liza explodes: "Oh, Mother, NOOOO!" Marian quickly extols Frederick's amazing abilities -- he's contacted Jenny and Cindy -- well, Cindy contacted HIM, but -- Liza: "Ok, you have this guy looking for Stuart." Marian says that's just the point, they've tried twice and Stuart's NOT THERE! She turns to Scott for assistance and Scott, embarrassed, just repeats what both of them have already said. When questioned by Liza, he says he doesn't know WHAT to believe. He throws up his hands and walks away. Marian volunteers that Cindy says they are looking in the wrong place. Liza, ever the understanding, loving and supportive daughter, says: " Mother, this is insane. All right, I hate to label you, but you're a fruitcake! There are entire industries of scam artists designed to sucker grieving widows like you." Marian is firm that that is NOT the case THIS time. Scott seems to be wavering and asks why, if Frederick was trying to con them, would he say Stuart is NOT on the other side? Liza jumps on "the other side" terminology and hammers home the details -- she SAW the cabin burnt to the ground -- they found the wedding ring -- they found the BODY! Marian: "They found **A** body!" [At LAST someone says it out loud!] Scott: "What if it wasn't HIS body?" Liza says they found Stuart's blood on Stuart's jacket. "Stuart is DEAD, Mama." Marian firmly says that she knows Liza believes what she's saying, but she doesn't know what she's talking about.
VALLEY INN DINING ROOM
Leo asks what Woody's doing out in his condition, anyway. Greenlee says that's a good point -- she can use it. She clops over to Woody puts a restraining hand on his chest and asks what he's doing there -- shouldn't he be at home with his feet up. He says she scared the Bejesus out of him! A beautiful woman walks up and tells Woody the table he requested is almost ready. Greenlee turns to Woody and tells him he should be ashamed of himself! He's baffled at first, then realizes what she's talking about and says it's not what she thinks -- Miss Hastings and he are there on business. He introduces them and Greenlee says: "I'm his granddaughter -- my pleasure is mine." [a blooper that actually fits better than the intended dialogue] Greenlee drags him off for a private word [Miss Hastings moves right along with them -- LOL] She scolds him for not being in bed and he reiterates the need for a business meeting. There's a big merger coming up! Greenlee threatens to tell Grandmother. Woody (worriedly): "Tell her WHAT?" Greenlee says: "You come this close to checking out, and then the next thing she knows, you're out wheeling and dealing with a balance sheet in one hand and a scotch in the other!" Miss Hastings chimes in that Greenlee knows him well. Greenlee says his wife knows him, too, and she's not going to be happy he's drinking against doctor's orders. [Am I the only one embarrassed for Woody that his granddaughter is treating him like a baby in front of a business associate?] Greenlee says Grandmother is at the Glamorama right now, isn't she? He knew she would be gone for a few hours and he slipped out of the house. Miss Hastings says Greenlee's got him on THAT one. He agrees his heart WAS racing a bit and Greenlee orders him to go home to bed, NOW. Miss Hastings says business can wait and she leaves to get the car. Greenlee hugs him fiercely and says she'd lose it if anything happened to him. He's perplexed and reassures her nothing is going to happen to him. She shoos him out and returns to Leo. They wonder if Woody got out in time. Since Wade just showed up, they'll just have to wait and see. Greenlee says if Wade DID see her grandfather, he's going to want an introduction, and that's NOT going to happen. She plasters a big smile on her face and calls to Wade, who is schmoozing with a woman by the door.
Everyone's voice is dripping icicles as Greenlee introduces Leo and assumes they've met. Wade says they've traveled in the same circles. He was expecting a) a meeting with her grandfather, and b) in lieu of that, they would at least be ALONE. Leo is crossing his arms like he's trying to hold 50lb sacks of potatoes under each one (or is trying to ward off massive belly cramps), and his nose is so far up in the air that the oxygen masks should drop any second. He crosses his legs tighter than Becca could ever hope to try and leans way back in what he thinks is a casually threatening manner. He sniffs to Wade that he's known for his discretion. Wade says that is one thing he HADN'T heard about him. Greenlee says that Leo is a freelance consultant and knows all her business. Wade: "Lucky him. Now, about your grandfather ..." Greenlee and Leo insist that Woody is very sick and completely bedridden, but that doesn't mean the money won't be paid back -- it will just take a little more time. Wade seems like such a patient man. Wade: "It's an act."
Vanessa walks up wearing a brilliant red suit and carrying what appears to be a red bucket. She's wearing a really weird-ass necklace that has a single strand branching off the front of it that consists of about 3" of red ropy stuff alternating with gold balls and it goes all the way down to her crotch. [I wouldn't want to be wearing THAT and get anywhere near anything that rotates -- well, I wouldn't want to be wearing THAT in ANY case]. As she simpers back and forth, the chains swings wildly, almost thwapping Greenlee in the face. She pretends she didn't know Leo was dining there that afternoon and asks to be introduced to their friend. Leo says they are having a business meeting and now is not a good time. She tells him to be nice and in a pouting, long-suffering manner, he introduces them. Wade is suave, of course. Leo again reminds her that they are in the middle of something. She charmingly says she's obviously embarrassing her son, so maybe they will meet another time. Leo makes a show of watching her walk away and shakes his head like he just can't believe she would do that. He turns to Wade and asks what the rush is and why he can't give Greenlee a little more time. Wade wants to know Leo's connection to Cortlandt Electronics. Leo says it has nothing to do with CE. Greenlee jumps in: "Not yet .... maybe it could." Wade says he likes the way Greenlee thinks. Leo says Palmer Cortlandt is not interested in the way Wade does business, and neither is his mother, so don't even THINK about it! Wade says he's way past just THINKING about it! Greenlee turns a hopeful face to Leo: "Leo?" He tells her to FORGET IT -- the Cortlandts are OFF LIMITS! Wade: "Pity."
CHANDLER LIVING ROOM
Adam says ARLENE is the one who is jealous of Tad and Liza. She tells him to admit it -- he still has feelings for Liza. Adam: " Of course I do: contempt, loathing, disgust. Why do you think I'm trying so hard to destroy everything that Tad and Liza are building?" She says she doesn't know WHY -- there's no simple answer with him! Adam, scowling mightily, says: "Well, there is THIS time!" Arlene puts her drink down, sidles her bony body over to him on the couch and puts her arm around him, saying she loves it when he gets angry -- all his muscles get tense! Ignoring her touch, Adam says: "With you, everything -- EVERYTHING is a prelude to sex!" Arlene: "Ooh, and I'm sure you hate the way that I know all the right places to touch you. Hmmmm?" Adam, starting to relent to his baser nature, but not wanting to: "Stop! Just stop!" She kisses his neck. Arlene: "Yeah, hate -- hate my lips on your neck. And the thought of my skin and my naked body under you ..." He explodes [no, not THAT way] and shoves her away: "Get off me, get off!" He holds up a hand and won't look at her, like he's warding off Medusa. Arlene gets pissed off: "You will never get over Liza. Never. You don't even want to!" He looks at her with a "Yeah, what's it to you?" look of contempt, mixed with knowing she's right and he doesn't want that to be the case. He curls his lip at her for a split-second and turns away.
CHURCH IN CHECHNYA
[BTW, based on the icons on the walls (which are conveniently blurry), I'd say it was a Russian Orthodox church -- if we see a cross with an extra, slanted little crossbar on the bottom of it, we'll know for sure.] Luc returns with a bandage and scissors [what, no international coffee?], saying the doctor, he eez coming and he thanks them for their help. Gillian asks if the man will survive and Luc says the doctor has saved MANY he thought were lost. Gillian's hands and the bottom of her blouse are now bloody. She tells Ryan she had no idea what she was getting herself into [gee, ya think?] She had no idea what Jake was doing there. She apologizes to Ryan for causing more trouble and he rubs her arms like he's trying to build up a really BIG static charge, saying he's just grateful that they are both okay. He is overwhelmed by being around all these people struggling to stay alive. Gillian: "Makes you realize how precious life is. I don't want us to waste any more time." [I'm wondering if that means they are going to start humping up against the wall in the midst of bombs falling and people dying] He pulls her into his arms and pets her hair as she wallows. Ryan: "We're not going to. Princess, we're going to find Jake. We're going to tell him the truth, and then we're going to get out." Gillian: "It's not the happy ending we've been dreaming about." Ryan: "We're going to make it happy. Ok? As long as I get you in the end." They kiss passionately [and I wonder if there are any condoms among the medical supplies] In the other room, Luc calls out that the doctor is there. The doctor says: "Let's tank him up, normal saline!" Gillian and Ryan break their kiss and she turns disbelievingly at the voice. Ryan: "Gillian?" She creeps around the corner, bracing herself with her bloody hand on the wall. She sees a helmeted GI working on the patient and talking doctor-speak. Luc runs off to do something and Gillian creeps toward the doctor. The doctor takes off his helmet and takes the patient's pulse, saying he's in good hands. As Jake looks at his watch, Gillian calls out: "Jake?" Jake turns his head toward her [JUST as a phone rings elsewhere in my house, making me wonder if Jake's watch is ringing]. It's a new actor, J. Eddie Peck. Looks cute, so far [Unfortunately, he WILL have Jakey dialogue eventually].
Jake runs to Gillian and hugs her tightly, picking her up and twirling her around. What in the world is she doing there? He kisses her as Ryan watches uncomfortably from around the bend. Jake turns to someone off-camera and happily explains that it's his wife [did any of the other people there see Gillian and Ryan kissing and professing their undying love for each other?]. Gillian is ecstatic and says she can't believe "WE" found him. Jake has to turn to the patient, but is stopped by the sight of Ryan. Jake, the cuckold, is happy to see Ryan, but tells him to hang on so he can tend to the patient. He asks what's going on and they blitheringly try to explain why they are there. Jake finally picks up on the "we" part and asks who else is there. They said Adrian got them there and Jake is surprised that Adrian is back. Gillian says they came to take him home. Jake finally gets his wits back and says at least he HAS a home -- there are 16 orphaned kids there that are not so lucky. Ryan says they brought supplies and Adrian's working on a chopper to evacuate ALL of them. Jake asks if they are the Cavalry. He is called over to another patient and says he doesn't know what possessed them to come all this way, but he's damned glad they are there (to help). Gillian and Ryan look at each other, partly ashamed, but mostly thinking "NOW what do we do?" Gillian appears to leaning toward the "what were we THINKING? We can't do this right NOW!" frame of mind.
MARIAN'S COTTAGE
Liza, more softly, but still firm, asks Marian if she really BELIEVES that Stuart is still alive. Marian stubbornly says she believes that they don't have all the right answers. Liza reminds her of how hard everyone has worked to accept this and Marian says NO ONE has worked harder than SHE has. Liza goes to make tea and says they'll all sit down and figure it out. Marian sniffles and asks Scott if she's crazy. He says he wouldn't use that word. She BELIEVES in something. Marian babbles about feeling close to Stuart and says she needs to find something from Stuart's childhood. Scott questions the obvious and says she's going to meet with Frederick again. She says Liza may very well be right, but she HAS to do this. Scott sums it up for her, saying she's got to know one way or the other and she emphatically confirms it. He asks what she needs him to do and she kisses him gratefully. She asks him to cover for her with Liza. He says if Liza asks where she went, he'll be vague. [ROTFL! He should be good at THAT!]
Liza returns with a tray of tea fixings and Scott explains that Marian had an errand she had to do. Before Liza and react to that, her cell phone rings. It's someone calling to tell her that the entire labor force just walked off the job at the Col-Mar Tower. [Doesn't Chandler Enterprises have anything else to do besides babysit this construction project?] She stomps out muttering about them being cursed with this building.
CHANDLER LIVING ROOM
Arlene, who NEVER knows when to shut up, throws up her arms and needles Adam: "Just say it! You think about her ALL the time!" Adam says he wants her to SHUT UP [I told you] about Liza! He jumps up from the couch and walks away. Arlene softens and says: "Look, Adam, you're tired. Why don't you go to the bar, close up early, and come home and get into bed? Adam: "So we're back to the subject of bed again?" She gently reminds him that beds are also for resting -- he's been going full-throttle and it's time for him to take it easy. He says he's never been very good at that. She tells him that the work stoppage will render the Col-Mar Tower DOA and Tad and Liza will finally be finished. [Hmmm, lost a few million dollars? Easy come, easy go. At worst, they'll have to lay off some totally innocent, hard-working people so they can continue to play games with Adam.] She tells him to go close the bar and come home and they'll drink a toast to a job well-done. Adam: "All right. But I'm not in the mood to fight off another seduction when I get back." Arlene: "I'll be a Girl Scout" [ROTFL! I can only imagine the kind of badges SHE'D earn and the kind of knots she can tie!]
VALLEY INN DINING ROOM
Wade tells Greenlee that if Leo won't be flexible with the Cortlandt connection, then he and Greenlee have a schedule to keep. Vanessa looks on from another table. Greenlee asks for another 7-10 days. Wade orders her to give him what she OWES him. He says he'll be in touch and grimly walks away. Vanessa ducks behind her hand as he walks by. Leo turns to Greenlee: "We have ignition." Vanessa picks up her red bucket and walks out, her chain smacking into her swaying hips and points in-between [is this some new kind of sex toy?] As she quickly walks past Wade, who is waiting for her, he calls out and she stops to talk to him. They re-introduce each other and he comments on Leo's rudeness. Vanessa says you can only do so much before they leave the nest. He asks her for a drink. She reluctantly agrees to spare a couple of minutes and they sit in the lobby near the brochures listing the sights of PV. He guesses she prefers Madeira. She says he guessed right -- is that due to good breeding or careful study? Wade: "Well, let's just you're in good hands with me, Vanessa." She simpers and reaches into her bucket to answer the cell phone. [I think it really IS a bucket. It sure clanked like one when she opened it. The inside lid of it either reflected her hands very well, or it is mirrored.]
Naturally, it's Leo calling. Leo: "Hello, Vanessa. This is your teleprompter calling. My name is Palmer. Say hello, darling." Vanessa: "Palmer, darling! Yes! I do need you to call me more than three times a day! Where are you?" Leo: "Very good. You've missed me, I'm sure." Vanessa: "Yes. Nothing's the same without you around." They continue in this vein, with her dropping clues about buying jets for 40-50 million, but that includes the crew. She reminds Palmer/Leo that she has check-writing privileges. Leo tells her not to let Wade ask too many questions and hangs up on her. She tells the empty air that she loves him too and ends her side of the call. She confides to Wade that her husband has her doing a million and one things for him, but she loves it. She postpones the drink and he suggests they reschedule because he has a business proposition for her. She says she looks forward to it.
Vanessa rushes over to Leo's table [how obvious is THAT?] Leo tells her she hasn't lost her touch and she says she wanted to get back into his good graces and, BTW, how did she do. Leo snaps that he'll let her know if Wade bites. Vanessa grits her teeth at his ungratefulness and tells him to let her know when it's time for a second round. She turns to Greenlee and informs her that, despite their problems, she DEARLY LOVES her son and she trusts that Greenlee knows what she's doing. Greenlee looks slightly stricken and Leo tells Vanessa they have it under control. Vanessa says she hopes so and leaves, carrying her bucket and trying not to let her chain hit it.
Greenlee tells Leo he is DEFINITELY paying a price for dealing with Vanessa. He that's ALWAYS the case when dealing with Vanessa, but it's okay if it keeps Greenlee out of trouble. She thanks him and he says: "What can I say? You're scary when you're desperate." Greenlee: "What do you mean, "scary"?" Leo: "Let me -- let me rephrase. You turn into an ax-swinging psychopath when you're desperate." She laughs deliciously and asks if he ever talked to Becca about blowing her off that night. He tells her Becca didn't buy his explanation and dumped him. Greenlee is stunned and says Becca is tripping. She demands Becca's phone number to talk some sense into her. Leo tells her not to bother. Besides, shouldn't Greenlee be kicking up her heels? She says that doesn't mean she gets a thrill watching him and Becca go up in flames. He points out that she didn't like him and Becca together any more than he liked her wasting her time on Ryan. They drink to being lonely and miserable ... and happy.
CHURCH IN CHECHNYA
Gillian helps Jake with a patient while Ryan moodily holds up a saline drip and watches them work together. She tells Jake how much everyone has missed him at home and how everyone (Ruth and Joe and Tad and Dixie) all worried so much about him. He grunts. Now that she's there, she realizes it was far worse than she ever imagined. Jake fills us in on his situation: "When I was on my way to help at a children's hospital north of here, it was bombed. There were 16 survivors, all kids. And I treated them as far as I could, and we've got them here, and now we're trying to get them to a hospital." Gillian says they thought he was closer to the Argun River and that's probably where Adrian is. Jake says they WERE there, but heard the Red Cross was going to be here (near the church) so they left, but the RC had already left by the time they got there. He yells for assistance, saying the guy is ready to be moved. Ryan says Adrian will probably figure out where they are and will head that way. Jake asks if Adrian is making arrangement for a chopper for "all my kids" [he has a flock of baby goats?] He says he's going to go prep his children. He thanks Ryan and Gillian and says he doesn't know why they came all this way, but he's glad they did. He leaves the room and bombs continue to explode nearby. Gillian tells Ryan there's no way she can tell him now. He agrees and says they should just concentrate on getting everyone out of there. Jake comes back into the room carrying a babuska-wearing girl of about 12 and introduces her to them as Paulina. A bomb explodes nearby and everyone ducks. The girl is very frightened and Jake tries to soothe her by reminding her of the song they sing whenever they are scared. They start singing Itsy-Bitsy Spider. Gillian watches them, her heart breaking at the sight of Jake comforting the child and seeing how desperately the girl is clinging to him and trusts him.
CHANDLER LIVING ROOM
Arlene, now dressed in a light pink negligee with a sheer black lace robe, is lighting candles and icing champagne in the living room, saying: "You can erase Liza from your mind if you could. You just need a little help is all." She hears a car drive up and walks expectantly to the door holding 2 glasses of champagne. She's disappointed to see Vanessa walk in saying that the door was open. Vanessa grabs one of the glasses and says it's been a LONG day. Before she can sip it, Arlene grabs it back and yells at her to get out. Vanessa simply rolls her eyes and says "Oh my!", then strolls past Arlene into the living room. Vanessa: "Oh, my. Well, all this for your long-suffering, silver-haired barkeep?" She tells Arlene she wants her money and if Arlene wants her to keep quiet when Adam shows up, she suggests that Arlene pay up IMMEDIATELY. Arlene glares at her.
CHURCH IN CHECHNYA
Gillian turns to Ryan and painfully tells him that Jake used to sing that to Colby. Ryan just nods. Jake holds out his hand to Gillian and she comes over to sit with him and Paulina. Jake holds both of them in a loving, protective embrace as Ryan stares at them with a look of futility.
VALLEY INN DINING ROOM
Leo and Greenlee toast each other: Leo: "May Ryan roast in DotCom hell for what he did to you." Greenlee: "And may Becca be a virgin the rest of her life! Leo: "Ooh, that's actually pretty harsh." Greenlee: "That big-haired old maid deserves what she gets!" Leo: "They both do." They drink up and he pours more champagne. Leo: "For you, my friend, who is now strong enough to overcome love. Congratulations." Greenlee: "May you learn from my mistakes." Leo: "And you from mine." Greenlee: "That's why we have each other." They smile at each other.
PINE VALLEY PARK / WILLOW LAKE / HOOVER DAM
Scott walks into the courtyard area just as Junior kicks a ball to him and yells at him to catch it with 2 hands. Scott asks him why he's trying to drop-kick innocent bystanders. They bond by playing some and talking about summer being over and school about to start. Junior says it's weird, like something's changed over the summer and nothing's ever going to be the same. Scott feels the same way. Scott asks after Adam, but Junior says he's on another PLANET. Scott says Tad's probably pretty busy, too. Junior hesitates, then asks if Scott misses doing stuff with his dad. Scott says he does -- he'd always looked forward to the summer when they would be able to spend lots of time together. They would fish, mostly -- pitch a tent and stay up all night laughing -- sleep in until noon. Junior says his dad was always way too serious about that stuff. Scott says Stuart used to try and tell him to chill out, but Adam couldn't do it. Junior sits on the bench and agrees, saying that at least Adam would LISTEN to Uncle Stuart. Junior: "It's not the same as you, but I feel like my dad just isn't here anymore." Scott sits on the ball and says Junior's right, but he's got to learn to deal with stuff he can't control. They both say they are trying and they walk off together, with Scott taking Junior under his wing. They walk out through the gate and the camera pans to a fishing pole leaning up against a nearby fence.
CHANDLER LIVING ROOM
Arlene asks why blackmail threats always sound so crude. Vanessa: "Ha-ha! Well, because they are, dear. Now, just pay me what you owe me and Adam never need find out that you lied to him about his brother being alive." Arlene reluctantly gives up, grabs her purse and hands Vanessa a paltry few hundred dollars. Vanessa laughs scornfully and says she and her son are working on a very high-profile case and she has to look the part! Vanessa: "Arlene, we had a deal. Now, don't cross me. It appears to me that all of this hinges on Adam's staying in the dark about Stuart, so in order to shut me up, you have to either pay me or -- kill me! Arlene: "Or shove an apple in it." They both smile, baring fangs. Vanessa: "I think it would be far easier for you just to pay me -- KITTEN." Arlene: "All right! All right!" Arlene reaches in her purse, but the doorbell rings and she stashes Vanessa out of sight around the corner. She opens the door to see Stuart standing there, wearing Adam's fishing vest. She mistakes him for Adam and looks questioningly at the fishing outfit. Stuart gushes: "Hi!!! You remember me! I'm Stuart!" As the realization dawns on her, Arlene's heart sinks, along with her face. Vanessa gasps at this new twist. Stuart grins and lolls his head like a little puppy.
On the next AMC:
Stuart looks around the Chandler mansion in awe and says he feels like he's home -- this must be where he BELONGS! Arlene stares at him with a this-can't-be-happening face as Vanessa's ears perk up.
At Erica's house, as Bianca grins at Leo, he tells Erica that he's just been informed that they have to cancel Bianca's party.
In Chechnya, Jake watches in slow-motion as a ski-mask clad assassin points a gun -- Gillian helps someone on the ground and Jake tosses aside a backpack.
Ryan (with Gillian lying inert on the ground) draws and fires his weapon (having had no training whatsoever)
Irreverently submitted,
Robin "bombs away" Coutellier
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