[And yes, after juggling between at least 3 versions of Friday's episodes, I DID manage to get an uninterruped version of the show! I subscribed to SoapNet just in time for the most ridiculous, embarrassing circus of an election this country has ever seen. I think THIS is the Y2K bug everyone was so worried about!]
PREVIOUSLY ON AMC
Edmund: "I'm trying to do the right thing." Dimitri: "That sounds like a plan. Why don't you start by staying away from my wife."
Greenlee to Woody: "Leo likes living at Erica's because he feels like he's part of a real family. I can give him that."
Ryan to Gillian: "I got over you. Whole days go by where I don't even think of you."
David to a vial of Libidozone: "Let's see how you handle this, Tad."
A LOFT
A laughing Greenlee ushers a blindfolded Leo into an empty loft. She removes the blindfold and a disappointed Leo wants to know what she's done now -- did she move all the stuff out of Ryan's apartment or have him evicted? Why is it empty? She gleefully tells him it's NOT Ryan's apartment -- it has the exact same layout because it's the one ABOVE Ryan's. She's so excited about it she's practically peeing her panties as she informs him that it's available and it's for THEM to live in! He is incredulous that, of all the places available in PV, she expects him to live in the apartment just above Ryan's!
Leo continues to protest the loft's proximity to Ryan, but Greenlee insists Ryan never even entered her mind in this -- she's completely OVER him. Leo says yes she is. He stomps the floor for emphasis -- she's DIRECTLY over him! She enthuses about them having their own place and seeing each other every day. They'll have their OWN family -- her, Leo and Happy all living together -- isn't that what he wants?
Leo talks about how, as a child, he always wished he and his mother could settle down in some cute litte cottage in the south of France. THIS place, however, is MUCH nicer than some damp little thatch-roofed cottage. She exhales in happiness. Then he says he can't live with her right now. Her face falls and she asks why. He says, for one thing, he can't afford the rent -- any money he makes goes toward paying off her grandfather. She says she'll pay the rent, but he doesn't want that. Besides, Erica just gave him a new job and he needs to stay and help out with Bianca. She says he doesn't have a license to deal with her problems -- how can HE help? He looks askance at her and asks if her thoughts ever get filtered through a buffer. He's not saying it can't happen -- it just can't happen right NOW -- the timing is off. Greenlee pouts: "Because of Bianca?" He agrees -- Bianca is going to need a lot of support for her big talk with Erica and he wants to be there for the fallout. The other reason is that this is HUGE -- how about a little NOTICE? She says they've talked about this (moving in together) before. He agrees, but at the time he thought he had a million dollars! She says she has it covered -- she's already paid the security deposit and first month's rent. Leo: "Without even talking to me about it first!" She says she can handle it and he says he doesn't WANT her to handle it. She wants to know why he's fighting her so much on this! He sweetly says it's because he loves her. [AWWWWW!!!] She gazes at him with her big doe eyes [as I wonder if she has a hyperactive thyroid].
Later, Greenlee and Leo are sitting on a conveniently placed wooden crate in the middle of the loft [what was being stored there, sun- dried tomatoes?] She shyly asks if he really does [love her]. Leo: "You can't TELL?" She says that the last time he said that he was delirious with fever [on the "deserted" island], so it was not exactly a magic moment. He says he says it ALL THE TIME, only not with words. She says she loves him too. Leo: "But?" Greenlee: "That was just so normal. I mean, you said you love me and I said it back, just like two regular people in love." [AWWWWWW!!] He says that they ARE. She asks why he won't move in with her, then. They have EVERYTHING they need right there -- why should they wait? He squints at her with frustration and asks if her parents EVER said no to her, even ONCE, as a child? It's a simple concept, right up there with sharing and not hitting. She gets frustrated herself and tells him to quit stalling! Greenlee: "And don't give me that excuse about wanting to host Bianca's next great coming out party!" He throws up his hands and says he doesn't want to be KEPT! He doesn't want her paying the first and last month's rent and everything in-between. He wants to pay his OWN way for once. Greenlee: "Please! Since when did you have a problem taking handouts from women? You lived off your mother, you're living off erica. Why not me? [in a little voice] At least I care about you." He reiterates his desire not to live off her or her grandfather's money. She tells him to just admit it! The reason is not because of Ryan or Bianca or her grandfather. It's because he just doesn't want to live with her! He looks at her and asks if she was even LISTENING! He just told her he LOVES her! Greenlee gets angry: "You love me, but you don't want to move in with me! Well, guess what? I don't need your love as a consolation prize!" She stomps out and slams the door and he stares at the door.
PINE VALLEY INN
As Adam looks on with approval, Ryan is giving orders to the staff about setting up podiums with the IncredibleDreams.com logo behind it. [I'm wondering what the logo could be -- perhaps it's a picture of Ryan holding giant sacks of money or maybe a more subtle image, such as a donkey's butt] Liza walks in and Adam leaps to her side to accost her with morning pleasantries. She notes his good mood and wonders if he has his divorce from Arlene yet. He says he hasn't seen Arlene yet. Liza says then they have nothing to talk about. [What is this sudden attack of marital morals from Liza? It's not like Adam is stringing her along about divorcing Arlene and it's not like his marriage was ever anything but a fraud or that he and Liza aren't planning to be together ANYWAY] She suspects his motives for being at the PVI and thinks he might be spying on her. He tells her about the fundraiser for pregnant teens and Ryan's request to have Adam be his mentor. He expresses interest in coming back to Chandler Enterprises. She informs him that the board doesn't want him back -- neither does Tad -- and neither does SHE.
In the formal dining room, Leslie Coulson is sipping a glass of water as Tad rushes in for his meeting with her [I notice that there is also a glass of wine on the table that would probably make a horse tipsy]. He thinks they are there to talk about David Hayward, but Leslie informs him that it's more about Tad and Dixie's marriage. He says that's not open for discussion, but she counters that it WILL be if he continues to press the sexual harrassment lawsuit. She asks if it's worth it to have his marriage and past indiscretions brought up in court for everyone to gossip over. He asks what a tarnished soul is going for these days and advises her that, if she's going to crawl in bed with the devil, she should buy some flame-retardant sheets. She wonders if he's jealous. They continue back and forth in a semi-civil manner and David walks into the room from the kitchen entrance, stopping and backing up a little when he sees Tad and Leslie together. As Tad says he's going to enjoy tearing David's reputation (and DAVID) to shreds, David takes out the vial and holds it up for anyone in the room to see if they happened to look. He spins it around like a tiny baton and gives a f**k-you-and-the-horse-you-rode-in-on look to Tad.
Back in the lobby, Liza tells Adam that the board will need to see some hard evidence that Adam would put the company's interests above his own -- why doesn't he be a consultant? Adam exclaims that she's GOT to be joking! She says no. Ryan wanders over and chats up Liza, handing her a very bulky invitation to the ID.com fundraiser next week. [I notice that the ID.com "logo" appears to consist of rainbow-colored, unevenly sized and spaced letters of the Fisher-Price/Toys-R-Us variety -- hmmmm, colorful, but childish, uneven, unfocused and difficult to decipher -- sounds about right] She points out that it's JAKE's program for pregnant teens and Ryan agrees. She says she'll be there. Liza wants to know if the yacht has anything to do with their prior conversation about her romantic past or if Adam's sudden mentoring has anything to do with it, either. Ryan poo-poos it as pure coincidence. Liza doesn't buy it for a second and says she'll be there to give away a check -- and NOTHING else! She stalks away. Adam grouses about Ryan's grand plan to get he and Liza together and Ryan says that he's getting her there and will keep her champagne glass full, but the rest is up to Adam.
As a crowd of reporters come in, Ryan goes over to them and shepherds them to the podium 2 feet away. His voice is amplified over loudspeakers as he goes into his spiel, deafening the vast crowd of 6-7 reporters. Erica Kane sidles around them, temporarily distracting a photographer. She smiles at him and breezes into the dining room to join Bruce the Great at a table. She wants to see the proofs of Bianca and Leo, but says she'll be disappointed. She says it wasn't HIS best day. The pictures are apparently so horrible that she can't bear to look at them for more than about a 1/2 second. She declares that Bianca and Leo are beautiful, and there's no excuse for the photos! He agrees they are pretty, but they are stiff and uncomfortable in front of the camera, especially Bianca. She says it's his fault for yelling at them, resulting in boring, flat shots like those -- he should be ENCOURAGING them to make them sparkle. He says they don't inspire him. She says they shouldn't HAVE to -- he's a MASTER at that kind of thing -- he should try not barking and screaming at them until they are scared to death!
At the Coulsen/Martin table, Leslie tells Tad that he's got it all wrong -- she's on HIS side. As David peers around the corner, she flirts with Tad. Tad says he's wasting his time -- thanks her for the soda (there is now a giant glass of cola in front of Tad) and says he'll get the check. She caresses his hand and tries to wheedle him into staying. He says that's not going to work, and DON'T do it again! She pouts that he's SOOO devoted -- or is that just for show? David chuckles and encourages Leslie from afar to reel Tad in. Liza walks up to him and asks why he's lurking about. He feigns innocence.
After the commercial, David protests that he was HARDLY lurking about -- he was just looking for a table where he wouldn't be distracted. She suggests he tries BJ's [FAC BJs on: Oh yeah, baby, come on over and sit on MY lap! FAC BJs off], although it would harder to spy on Tad from there [FAC BJs on: NO problem, Dr. D -- PVI and I have reciprocal video surveilance agreement -- something will be harder, all right, but it won't be the spying ;-) FAC BJs off] He scoffs that it is a RIDICULOUS notion -- why would he want to do that? He stomps away and Liza whisks herself over to Tad and Leslie's table.
Liza pulls Tad away from the table and tells him to take a day off to reconnect with his wife. He's suspicious of her motives and wants to know if she's been talking to Dixie. She says no, but then relents and says maybe. Then she spills that she stopped Dixie from leaving the house in her coat and teddy and Dixie told her everything. Tad is not pleased, but then says he probably would have told Liza sooner or later ANYWAY. She tells him that Dixie matters to him more than anyone in the world -- do NOT let an idiot like David Hayward ruin it for him!
David looks over his shoulder at them as he hastily sneaks around the room and slips into a chair next to Leslie, lauding her on her progress. He says Liza is probably putting Tad in a bad mood -- Leslie should go check on him. She does and David takes the opportunity to surreptitiously (in a very broad, obviously sneaky manner) to pour the vial of Libidozone into the cola. [I notice that his hand is now unwrapped]
Out in the lobby, Ryan is telling the hordes that a donation of $5k for a table at the IPO launch will help these young mothers keep and fulfill their dreams. Liza and Adam stand together watching. Ryan tells the teeming masses of 6-7 people the first person to buy TEN tables gets exclusive use of a stateroom filled with roses and stocked with champagne. Adam raises his finger and says he'll take ten. The photographer, who apparently has an endless supply of film and an obsession with taking pictures of Ryan, momentarily turns around to snap photos of Adam. Ryan thanks Adam and applauds him, wishing that all his dreams will come true. Liza tells Adam it was smooth [and as obvious as a 2-inch zit on his nose], but it's not going to work [why doesn't Adam just buy the damned yacht and kidnap her the way he usually does?]
Ryan suddenly leans backward and yanks Jake (followed by Gillian) to the podium and introduces him as the founder of the organization (which was just conceived of the day before), asking him to field some questions. Jake looks uncomfortable as a reporter flubs a line and asks if he has any long-torm goals for the program.
Jake finishes telling the story of delivering Leila's baby in an abandoned cabin because she had no insurance and didn't think she could get prenatal care. The subject of Leila naming the baby after Jake comes up and he says he felt honored. Gillian thought it was a beautiful and fitting tribute [I thought Jake's name was Joseph]. Jake had calmed both Leila's and Gillian's fears. A reporter asks if there are any more little Jakes on the horizon for the happy couple. Gillian hems and haws, Jake looks down and gulps in frustration at the lack of cooperation from Mr. Winky, and Ryan interrupts asking for the next question about the EVENT. A reporter points out that the 3 of them are showing up quite often on the press circuit these days -- is it awkward for the 3 of them, considering Gillian used to be Mrs. Lavery? Adam makes a thoughtfully sour face as he observes. Ryan: [you mean because we've both used our tongues to drive her into a state of sexual ecstacy, the likes of which have heretofore never been experienced by a woman, all within the space of one lunar cycle?] "Uh -- no, not at all. Question about the EVENT, please." As Gillian's face crinkles up in an Excedrin moment, a reporter asks if Jake minds his wife's ex-husband helping him out, first rescuing him from Chechnya, then raising money for his organization. Ryan says he doesn't see how these questions are relevant and Jake says he appreciates everything Ryan's done and his generosity in donating his time and effort for a good cause. He asks them to make sure the readers know where to send contributions. The reporters grouse and disperse to a side-room for coffee. Jake walks up to Ryan and angrily says he needs a word with him RIGHT NOW! Ryan stands balls-forward and stares at him.
At Erica and Bruce's table, Bruce tells her that he's seen models that HATE each other throw off more heat than Leo and Bianca. So her daughter and her friend are not the next "it" couple -- hire someone else! Erica insists that Leo and Bianca ARE Enchantment's young couple -- if Bruce can't take ONE decent photo of them, then she has no choice but to hire someone else to take the photos. Bruce states that the photos don't work and HE's not the reason. He snaps his portfolio shut, gets up and stalks away. Erica looks uncomfortable.
Tad walks back to his table and asks Leslie and David what's going on. Leslie says David just joined her to discuss some business. David stands up and apologizes to Tad for moving his glass because it was in his way. Tad tells him it [David's charm] isn't going to work -- they're still going to file a sexual harassment lawsuit against him. David says he's sorry to hear that and walks away. Tad glares at his retreating figure and sits down. Leslie asks about his conversation with Liza and Tad says he hasn't changed his mind. She says she's sorry to hear that and suggests that they drink to "no hard feelings" [heh, heh]. David watches them and hears the voice of the Phil the Urologist saying: "The researchers in the Swedish lab have named it Libidozone after the libido. We're essentially unleashing the id with unpredictable results. Remember, this is uninhibited behavior demanding IMMEDIATE gratification." David chuckles as Tad and Leslie clink glases: "That's right, Tad. Bottoms up!" David is startled out of his anticipatory glee by the sight of Dixie walking into the room [for some reason, everyone is entering the room via the side door instead of the usual entrance]. Dixie is equally startled (despite KNOWING that he LIVES there and ALWAYS eats there) to see him as he jumps up and yells at her to wait, grabbing her arm and yanking her to a stop, causing her breasts to bounce so hard she nearly gets a black eye [there's grounds for a lawsuit right THERE].
Dixie yanks away from him, asking what his problem is and telling him to let go of her. He says he's sorry, he just wants to let her know that he's not going to interfere in her life anymore. Dixie: "What do you think you are doing RIGHT NOW?" This happens about 4 feet from Tad's table and, before he takes a sip of his tainted cola, Tad jumps up and shoves David telling him to let her go -- he's only going to say this ONCE -- what the hell is his problem? David yells that he was only apologizing to her! Tad: "By grabbing her? All right, that's it! This time we got witnesses! Dixie doesn't want them to make a scene, she just came there to talk to Tad. Tad agrees and they flee the room. David puts his head in his hands and plops into Tad's vacated chair. Leslie chides him that he's NOT helping his case! David tells her to just not let down on Tad [I'd say he flubbed the line and should have said let UP on Tad, but the transcript ALSO says down]. Leslie says she'll do what she can. She gets up and leaves. David picks up the cola and stands, but before he can leave, Erica rushes over to him and sits down, says he HAS to talk to him -- she's at her wit's end! He looks frustrated and undecided as he stares at the all-important glass-o-lust and huffs out a sigh.
In the lobby [because the car or home just isn't private enough], Tad and Dixie are sitting down and Tad says if this is about dropping the lawsuit, he just can't deal with it right now, ESPECIALLY after what happened. Naturally, Dixie insists on talking about it. What if she CAN'T go through with it? He doesn't understand -- why COULDN'T she go through with it. She says because she is partly responsible for what happened. She's accepted that and he has to do the same. She thinks the answer is just for them to be back together again. Tad: "There are some people that have problems dealing with responsibility for what happens in their lives. I'm not one of them. Sometimes hellish things happen to people and they have a right to be mad about it!" She says she doesn't blame him, even if the person he's mad at is HER. Tad jumps up, looks around the crowded lobby and says: "I can't do this now!" Dixie (also jumping up): "We have to talk about this --" Tad grits his teeth: "Not now!" Dixie: "Go somewhere --" Tad: "Not now! Please! I've got to go to work. I'll see you at home." Dixie: "Ok." Tad stalks away and she looks down at the floor before clomping into the dining room.
Ryan, Gillian and Jake walk into the lobby again [when did they leave?] and Jake tells Ryan that if he likes the limelight, that's fine, but he came there to eat lunch, NOT to be put on the spot and ambushed by reporters! Ryan, his hair looking like he toweled it off with eggwhites and left it that way, says he thought the publicity would be great for the organization. Jake says that Ryan organized it at Jake's expense to make HIMSELF look good. The fundraiser was RYAN'S idea -- Jake never asked Ryan for a DIME, so the next time Ryan is looking for public adoration, find another cause and leave him out of it! Jakes beeper/cell phone rings and he has to go back to the E.R. [doesn't he ALWAYS have to do that whenver they go to the PVI? Maybe they should consider eating at BJs] He and Gillian awkwardly kiss goodbye. Ryan apologizes to her, saying he didn't know they would be there. She apologizes for Jake's attitude, saying he's been under a lot of stress lately. She's sure Jake didn't mean it. Ryan is sure that he DID mean it. She is overly solicitous to Ryan as she blathers about the good cause. They stare. Greenlee walks up behind Gillian and grins like a Cheshire cat, saying: "Hmmmm. What have we here? A tender moment between Pine Valley's heroic adulterers? How do you do it? I can't get one man, and you've got two dangling [well, ONE of them is dangling]. And people call ME a predator!" She gives a Marcia Brady twirl and exits to the dining room. Gillian stares and Ryan glowers. Gillian turns to face Ryan.
PINE VALLEY HOSPITAL
Edmund asks what's next, a restraining order to keep him away from Alex? Is he going to have Edmund arrested if he comes within 50 feet of Alex? Dimitri holds up his hands and magnanimously says he doesn't want it to come to that. Edmund says he can keep doing his job and being a father and living in the same town, but he CAN'T just forget his feelings for Alex. Dimitri says he knows that, but Edmund says that's why he has to leave Pine Valley. Alex walks in and says: "No, you KON'T!" Alex says he kon't teach his children to run away. He says he doesn't want to teach them that their father is MISERABLE. She says that she and Dimitri will stay in the hunting lodge, but he says that's not far enough -- he HAS to put more distance between them. She says he kon't uproot his children like that and take them away from their family ... and MARIA'S family. He says there are planes and phones -- they'll keep in touch. She says it will be a HUGE emotional setback for him if he left [but he'll be just peachy-keen if he stays?] He says he has to leave anyway -- he sold Wildwind to Dimitri. She assures him that Dimitri would never kick him out, but Edmund insists he can't stay there. She suggests across town, then, but he kon't leave. Edmund rushes out and Alex starts to follow, but Dimitri stops her.
She says Edmund is so impulsive and they have to stop him! Dimitri says he has to work things out on his own. She disagrees and says he already feels abandoned -- he has to handle his emotions there, with THEM. Dimitri: "With YOU!" She says yes, she can help him. Dimitri says that she IS the problem -- if she keeps comforting him, Edmund well either become dependent or obsessed and either way it's torment and it's DANGEROUS! She says no. He pretty much ORDERS her to let go of Edmund, but she says she's not going to give up on him.
Dimitri asks if she's already let Edmund go or is there something she's trying to tell him (Dimitri)? She's shocked and runs into his arms, proclaiming her love for him. Alex: "I love you! I love you. I thank God every day you came back to me. But your brother is in trouble. He is so conflicted. He loves you, but I am the reason that he's in pain. I gave him love, and I took it away!" Dimitri: " Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!" She says Edmund told her things in confidence that she's not at liberty to divulge -- he just has to trust her and believe that she CAN help Edmund. He says she's been sneaking around behind his back and keeping things from him and EDMUND is the one who is making her do it. Alex is perplexed. He says he saw the two of them with each other earlier -- he's not mad, he's CONCERNED! He wants her to back off before it gets more complicated. She reiterates Edmund's state of trouble and pain and says she made a promise to him to help and she intends to KEEP that promise. He says she's making a HUGE mistake. Her face contorting with painful memories, she says that Edmund helped her through the worst period of her life and she's going to return that favor. She knows Dimitri doesn't understand, but hopes that someday he will. She walks away and Dimitri makes a face wherein his lower lip covers the upper one to form a grim, yet comical line. He sighs.
THE WILDWIND MAUSOLEUM
The scene opens with a full shot of Maria's death-plaque, which reads: "MARIA SANTOS GREY -- NOVEMBER 27, 1967 -- AUGUST 12, 1997". The camera pans around the room and a tormented Edmund walks in, dejectedly walks over to the plaque and caresses it. He leans his head against what has got to be a FREEZING cold mixture of metal and stone. Edmund: "I tried so hard, Maria. I thought that if I could survive losing you, I could survive anything. But I was fooling myself, pretending like I could just carry on like a normal person. I actually thought that I could be in love again, I made a real mess of things." He gives the plaque a chuck and a slap, then shuffles over to the coffin in the middle of the room, squatting down next to it. "And now the only way that I can fix it is to -- to take the kids and leave here." His voice breaks and he starts to cry as he says: "And I'm sorry because I know that you wanted the kids to grow up here and fill the house with memories. [my guess is that they'll forever-more have nightmares of living in a dreary, gothic castle, replete with a mausoleum, child-eating mineshafts and wells, the ghosts of angry old men and an uncle who keeps dying, then popping up again like a Jack-in-the-Box -- and let's not forget those tense and eventful family dinners (well, okay, we ALL have THOSE); they'll be in therapy for years to come] Maybe someday I could -- I could come back, but I have to go now. I miss you so much. Maria, I would do anything to be with you again!" Suddenly Edmund hears Alf, his voice substantially distorted and garbled [aggravating my already pounding headache], asking him if that's what he wants -- to join his dead wife in the grave? He tells him the usual 'stay and fight for what's your's you worthless, weak, wussy, candy-assed little crybaby PUNK!' [or words to that effect].
Edmund jumps up in a panic, skirting around the coffin as Alf says "Once a stable boy, ALWAYS a stable boy! (Yadda, yadda, yadda)" [I consider FFing and putting a cold cloth on my pounding forehead] Edmund covers his ears and runs over to Maria's plaque like, well, a wussy, candy-assed little crybaby. He yells at Alf to go away. Dimitri walks up to the mausoleum and stops, watching Edmund through the door as he yells at Alf some more to shut up and get out of his head. As Alf yells that even a mangy dog defends his turf, Edmund looks like his head is going to explode as he gives in to all-out wailing and pitifully begs Alf to get out of his head. Dimitri tilts his head back slightly and, with that grim line of a mouth, looks thoughtful as he stares.
PINE VALLEY INN
Back at the busiest table in the restaurant, David continues to hold the glass of cola like it contains nitroglycerin as Erica goes on and on and on and on about the Enchantment campaign. David keeps nodding and tries not to spill the cola. He looks around impatiently as Erica takes some pills out of her purse and keeps nattering on about the photo shoot and Leo and Bianca's lack of chemistry. He sympathizes and says it's a great opportunity for the two of them. She wants to show him the photos because she thinks Bruce is right about them. She also looks impatiently around, anxious to get a glass of water. David tells her to calm down. She agrees that she's really, REALLY stressed out and she has a splitting headache [that makes 2 of us]. She leans toward him and asks if her pupils are dilated -- she hopes she doesn't have a migraine. He sets the glass down and takes her hand, telling her her pupils look fine. They look a little turned on (but just a little) and he asks to drive her home. She says in a minute. It's no wonder she has a splitting headache -- Bruce actually implied that her daughter has NO sex appeal -- can you imagine? Not that she wants Bianca to dress like a sex kitten or anything that like. David looks worried and bored as he keeps peering behind his chair. She yells more urgently for a waiter, complains about the lack of service, then grabs his soda and pops her pills [I thought she NEVER took any pain relievers, not even aspirin -- wasn't she talking about being in "the program" just yesterday?] David watches in stunned disbelief as she continues to gulp the glass-o-uninhibited-id. She finally takes a breath and fervently says she hopes they take effect right away. She drinks even more and he stares at her, trying to decide what to do next. [My guess is that he'll drive her home and try to accommodate her ;-)]
On the next AMC:
Leo to Laura: "You think you know me?" Laura: "I think you can't stand I caught you with your pants down."
Arlene to Stuart (at the gallery): "I need your help. I have no place else to go!"
Erica in a voice-over as the camera shows 4 shots of her: 1) Shimmying at a piano, 2) being dipped by Jack as David watches, 3) ripping off David's shirt as she pulls him backward, 4) snuggling up to Jack (maybe on his lap): "I feel drunk on passion for love!"
Dimitri, walking into the mausoleum: "Edmund, what's going on?"
Irreverently submitted,
Robin "Oh David, let's play doctor so you can treat MY headache" Coutellier
PREVIOUSLY ON AMC
Edmund: "I'm trying to do the right thing." Dimitri: "That sounds like a plan. Why don't you start by staying away from my wife."
Greenlee to Woody: "Leo likes living at Erica's because he feels like he's part of a real family. I can give him that."
Ryan to Gillian: "I got over you. Whole days go by where I don't even think of you."
David to a vial of Libidozone: "Let's see how you handle this, Tad."
A LOFT
A laughing Greenlee ushers a blindfolded Leo into an empty loft. She removes the blindfold and a disappointed Leo wants to know what she's done now -- did she move all the stuff out of Ryan's apartment or have him evicted? Why is it empty? She gleefully tells him it's NOT Ryan's apartment -- it has the exact same layout because it's the one ABOVE Ryan's. She's so excited about it she's practically peeing her panties as she informs him that it's available and it's for THEM to live in! He is incredulous that, of all the places available in PV, she expects him to live in the apartment just above Ryan's!
Leo continues to protest the loft's proximity to Ryan, but Greenlee insists Ryan never even entered her mind in this -- she's completely OVER him. Leo says yes she is. He stomps the floor for emphasis -- she's DIRECTLY over him! She enthuses about them having their own place and seeing each other every day. They'll have their OWN family -- her, Leo and Happy all living together -- isn't that what he wants?
Leo talks about how, as a child, he always wished he and his mother could settle down in some cute litte cottage in the south of France. THIS place, however, is MUCH nicer than some damp little thatch-roofed cottage. She exhales in happiness. Then he says he can't live with her right now. Her face falls and she asks why. He says, for one thing, he can't afford the rent -- any money he makes goes toward paying off her grandfather. She says she'll pay the rent, but he doesn't want that. Besides, Erica just gave him a new job and he needs to stay and help out with Bianca. She says he doesn't have a license to deal with her problems -- how can HE help? He looks askance at her and asks if her thoughts ever get filtered through a buffer. He's not saying it can't happen -- it just can't happen right NOW -- the timing is off. Greenlee pouts: "Because of Bianca?" He agrees -- Bianca is going to need a lot of support for her big talk with Erica and he wants to be there for the fallout. The other reason is that this is HUGE -- how about a little NOTICE? She says they've talked about this (moving in together) before. He agrees, but at the time he thought he had a million dollars! She says she has it covered -- she's already paid the security deposit and first month's rent. Leo: "Without even talking to me about it first!" She says she can handle it and he says he doesn't WANT her to handle it. She wants to know why he's fighting her so much on this! He sweetly says it's because he loves her. [AWWWWW!!!] She gazes at him with her big doe eyes [as I wonder if she has a hyperactive thyroid].
Later, Greenlee and Leo are sitting on a conveniently placed wooden crate in the middle of the loft [what was being stored there, sun- dried tomatoes?] She shyly asks if he really does [love her]. Leo: "You can't TELL?" She says that the last time he said that he was delirious with fever [on the "deserted" island], so it was not exactly a magic moment. He says he says it ALL THE TIME, only not with words. She says she loves him too. Leo: "But?" Greenlee: "That was just so normal. I mean, you said you love me and I said it back, just like two regular people in love." [AWWWWWW!!] He says that they ARE. She asks why he won't move in with her, then. They have EVERYTHING they need right there -- why should they wait? He squints at her with frustration and asks if her parents EVER said no to her, even ONCE, as a child? It's a simple concept, right up there with sharing and not hitting. She gets frustrated herself and tells him to quit stalling! Greenlee: "And don't give me that excuse about wanting to host Bianca's next great coming out party!" He throws up his hands and says he doesn't want to be KEPT! He doesn't want her paying the first and last month's rent and everything in-between. He wants to pay his OWN way for once. Greenlee: "Please! Since when did you have a problem taking handouts from women? You lived off your mother, you're living off erica. Why not me? [in a little voice] At least I care about you." He reiterates his desire not to live off her or her grandfather's money. She tells him to just admit it! The reason is not because of Ryan or Bianca or her grandfather. It's because he just doesn't want to live with her! He looks at her and asks if she was even LISTENING! He just told her he LOVES her! Greenlee gets angry: "You love me, but you don't want to move in with me! Well, guess what? I don't need your love as a consolation prize!" She stomps out and slams the door and he stares at the door.
PINE VALLEY INN
As Adam looks on with approval, Ryan is giving orders to the staff about setting up podiums with the IncredibleDreams.com logo behind it. [I'm wondering what the logo could be -- perhaps it's a picture of Ryan holding giant sacks of money or maybe a more subtle image, such as a donkey's butt] Liza walks in and Adam leaps to her side to accost her with morning pleasantries. She notes his good mood and wonders if he has his divorce from Arlene yet. He says he hasn't seen Arlene yet. Liza says then they have nothing to talk about. [What is this sudden attack of marital morals from Liza? It's not like Adam is stringing her along about divorcing Arlene and it's not like his marriage was ever anything but a fraud or that he and Liza aren't planning to be together ANYWAY] She suspects his motives for being at the PVI and thinks he might be spying on her. He tells her about the fundraiser for pregnant teens and Ryan's request to have Adam be his mentor. He expresses interest in coming back to Chandler Enterprises. She informs him that the board doesn't want him back -- neither does Tad -- and neither does SHE.
In the formal dining room, Leslie Coulson is sipping a glass of water as Tad rushes in for his meeting with her [I notice that there is also a glass of wine on the table that would probably make a horse tipsy]. He thinks they are there to talk about David Hayward, but Leslie informs him that it's more about Tad and Dixie's marriage. He says that's not open for discussion, but she counters that it WILL be if he continues to press the sexual harrassment lawsuit. She asks if it's worth it to have his marriage and past indiscretions brought up in court for everyone to gossip over. He asks what a tarnished soul is going for these days and advises her that, if she's going to crawl in bed with the devil, she should buy some flame-retardant sheets. She wonders if he's jealous. They continue back and forth in a semi-civil manner and David walks into the room from the kitchen entrance, stopping and backing up a little when he sees Tad and Leslie together. As Tad says he's going to enjoy tearing David's reputation (and DAVID) to shreds, David takes out the vial and holds it up for anyone in the room to see if they happened to look. He spins it around like a tiny baton and gives a f**k-you-and-the-horse-you-rode-in-on look to Tad.
Back in the lobby, Liza tells Adam that the board will need to see some hard evidence that Adam would put the company's interests above his own -- why doesn't he be a consultant? Adam exclaims that she's GOT to be joking! She says no. Ryan wanders over and chats up Liza, handing her a very bulky invitation to the ID.com fundraiser next week. [I notice that the ID.com "logo" appears to consist of rainbow-colored, unevenly sized and spaced letters of the Fisher-Price/Toys-R-Us variety -- hmmmm, colorful, but childish, uneven, unfocused and difficult to decipher -- sounds about right] She points out that it's JAKE's program for pregnant teens and Ryan agrees. She says she'll be there. Liza wants to know if the yacht has anything to do with their prior conversation about her romantic past or if Adam's sudden mentoring has anything to do with it, either. Ryan poo-poos it as pure coincidence. Liza doesn't buy it for a second and says she'll be there to give away a check -- and NOTHING else! She stalks away. Adam grouses about Ryan's grand plan to get he and Liza together and Ryan says that he's getting her there and will keep her champagne glass full, but the rest is up to Adam.
As a crowd of reporters come in, Ryan goes over to them and shepherds them to the podium 2 feet away. His voice is amplified over loudspeakers as he goes into his spiel, deafening the vast crowd of 6-7 reporters. Erica Kane sidles around them, temporarily distracting a photographer. She smiles at him and breezes into the dining room to join Bruce the Great at a table. She wants to see the proofs of Bianca and Leo, but says she'll be disappointed. She says it wasn't HIS best day. The pictures are apparently so horrible that she can't bear to look at them for more than about a 1/2 second. She declares that Bianca and Leo are beautiful, and there's no excuse for the photos! He agrees they are pretty, but they are stiff and uncomfortable in front of the camera, especially Bianca. She says it's his fault for yelling at them, resulting in boring, flat shots like those -- he should be ENCOURAGING them to make them sparkle. He says they don't inspire him. She says they shouldn't HAVE to -- he's a MASTER at that kind of thing -- he should try not barking and screaming at them until they are scared to death!
At the Coulsen/Martin table, Leslie tells Tad that he's got it all wrong -- she's on HIS side. As David peers around the corner, she flirts with Tad. Tad says he's wasting his time -- thanks her for the soda (there is now a giant glass of cola in front of Tad) and says he'll get the check. She caresses his hand and tries to wheedle him into staying. He says that's not going to work, and DON'T do it again! She pouts that he's SOOO devoted -- or is that just for show? David chuckles and encourages Leslie from afar to reel Tad in. Liza walks up to him and asks why he's lurking about. He feigns innocence.
After the commercial, David protests that he was HARDLY lurking about -- he was just looking for a table where he wouldn't be distracted. She suggests he tries BJ's [FAC BJs on: Oh yeah, baby, come on over and sit on MY lap! FAC BJs off], although it would harder to spy on Tad from there [FAC BJs on: NO problem, Dr. D -- PVI and I have reciprocal video surveilance agreement -- something will be harder, all right, but it won't be the spying ;-) FAC BJs off] He scoffs that it is a RIDICULOUS notion -- why would he want to do that? He stomps away and Liza whisks herself over to Tad and Leslie's table.
Liza pulls Tad away from the table and tells him to take a day off to reconnect with his wife. He's suspicious of her motives and wants to know if she's been talking to Dixie. She says no, but then relents and says maybe. Then she spills that she stopped Dixie from leaving the house in her coat and teddy and Dixie told her everything. Tad is not pleased, but then says he probably would have told Liza sooner or later ANYWAY. She tells him that Dixie matters to him more than anyone in the world -- do NOT let an idiot like David Hayward ruin it for him!
David looks over his shoulder at them as he hastily sneaks around the room and slips into a chair next to Leslie, lauding her on her progress. He says Liza is probably putting Tad in a bad mood -- Leslie should go check on him. She does and David takes the opportunity to surreptitiously (in a very broad, obviously sneaky manner) to pour the vial of Libidozone into the cola. [I notice that his hand is now unwrapped]
Out in the lobby, Ryan is telling the hordes that a donation of $5k for a table at the IPO launch will help these young mothers keep and fulfill their dreams. Liza and Adam stand together watching. Ryan tells the teeming masses of 6-7 people the first person to buy TEN tables gets exclusive use of a stateroom filled with roses and stocked with champagne. Adam raises his finger and says he'll take ten. The photographer, who apparently has an endless supply of film and an obsession with taking pictures of Ryan, momentarily turns around to snap photos of Adam. Ryan thanks Adam and applauds him, wishing that all his dreams will come true. Liza tells Adam it was smooth [and as obvious as a 2-inch zit on his nose], but it's not going to work [why doesn't Adam just buy the damned yacht and kidnap her the way he usually does?]
Ryan suddenly leans backward and yanks Jake (followed by Gillian) to the podium and introduces him as the founder of the organization (which was just conceived of the day before), asking him to field some questions. Jake looks uncomfortable as a reporter flubs a line and asks if he has any long-torm goals for the program.
Jake finishes telling the story of delivering Leila's baby in an abandoned cabin because she had no insurance and didn't think she could get prenatal care. The subject of Leila naming the baby after Jake comes up and he says he felt honored. Gillian thought it was a beautiful and fitting tribute [I thought Jake's name was Joseph]. Jake had calmed both Leila's and Gillian's fears. A reporter asks if there are any more little Jakes on the horizon for the happy couple. Gillian hems and haws, Jake looks down and gulps in frustration at the lack of cooperation from Mr. Winky, and Ryan interrupts asking for the next question about the EVENT. A reporter points out that the 3 of them are showing up quite often on the press circuit these days -- is it awkward for the 3 of them, considering Gillian used to be Mrs. Lavery? Adam makes a thoughtfully sour face as he observes. Ryan: [you mean because we've both used our tongues to drive her into a state of sexual ecstacy, the likes of which have heretofore never been experienced by a woman, all within the space of one lunar cycle?] "Uh -- no, not at all. Question about the EVENT, please." As Gillian's face crinkles up in an Excedrin moment, a reporter asks if Jake minds his wife's ex-husband helping him out, first rescuing him from Chechnya, then raising money for his organization. Ryan says he doesn't see how these questions are relevant and Jake says he appreciates everything Ryan's done and his generosity in donating his time and effort for a good cause. He asks them to make sure the readers know where to send contributions. The reporters grouse and disperse to a side-room for coffee. Jake walks up to Ryan and angrily says he needs a word with him RIGHT NOW! Ryan stands balls-forward and stares at him.
At Erica and Bruce's table, Bruce tells her that he's seen models that HATE each other throw off more heat than Leo and Bianca. So her daughter and her friend are not the next "it" couple -- hire someone else! Erica insists that Leo and Bianca ARE Enchantment's young couple -- if Bruce can't take ONE decent photo of them, then she has no choice but to hire someone else to take the photos. Bruce states that the photos don't work and HE's not the reason. He snaps his portfolio shut, gets up and stalks away. Erica looks uncomfortable.
Tad walks back to his table and asks Leslie and David what's going on. Leslie says David just joined her to discuss some business. David stands up and apologizes to Tad for moving his glass because it was in his way. Tad tells him it [David's charm] isn't going to work -- they're still going to file a sexual harassment lawsuit against him. David says he's sorry to hear that and walks away. Tad glares at his retreating figure and sits down. Leslie asks about his conversation with Liza and Tad says he hasn't changed his mind. She says she's sorry to hear that and suggests that they drink to "no hard feelings" [heh, heh]. David watches them and hears the voice of the Phil the Urologist saying: "The researchers in the Swedish lab have named it Libidozone after the libido. We're essentially unleashing the id with unpredictable results. Remember, this is uninhibited behavior demanding IMMEDIATE gratification." David chuckles as Tad and Leslie clink glases: "That's right, Tad. Bottoms up!" David is startled out of his anticipatory glee by the sight of Dixie walking into the room [for some reason, everyone is entering the room via the side door instead of the usual entrance]. Dixie is equally startled (despite KNOWING that he LIVES there and ALWAYS eats there) to see him as he jumps up and yells at her to wait, grabbing her arm and yanking her to a stop, causing her breasts to bounce so hard she nearly gets a black eye [there's grounds for a lawsuit right THERE].
Dixie yanks away from him, asking what his problem is and telling him to let go of her. He says he's sorry, he just wants to let her know that he's not going to interfere in her life anymore. Dixie: "What do you think you are doing RIGHT NOW?" This happens about 4 feet from Tad's table and, before he takes a sip of his tainted cola, Tad jumps up and shoves David telling him to let her go -- he's only going to say this ONCE -- what the hell is his problem? David yells that he was only apologizing to her! Tad: "By grabbing her? All right, that's it! This time we got witnesses! Dixie doesn't want them to make a scene, she just came there to talk to Tad. Tad agrees and they flee the room. David puts his head in his hands and plops into Tad's vacated chair. Leslie chides him that he's NOT helping his case! David tells her to just not let down on Tad [I'd say he flubbed the line and should have said let UP on Tad, but the transcript ALSO says down]. Leslie says she'll do what she can. She gets up and leaves. David picks up the cola and stands, but before he can leave, Erica rushes over to him and sits down, says he HAS to talk to him -- she's at her wit's end! He looks frustrated and undecided as he stares at the all-important glass-o-lust and huffs out a sigh.
In the lobby [because the car or home just isn't private enough], Tad and Dixie are sitting down and Tad says if this is about dropping the lawsuit, he just can't deal with it right now, ESPECIALLY after what happened. Naturally, Dixie insists on talking about it. What if she CAN'T go through with it? He doesn't understand -- why COULDN'T she go through with it. She says because she is partly responsible for what happened. She's accepted that and he has to do the same. She thinks the answer is just for them to be back together again. Tad: "There are some people that have problems dealing with responsibility for what happens in their lives. I'm not one of them. Sometimes hellish things happen to people and they have a right to be mad about it!" She says she doesn't blame him, even if the person he's mad at is HER. Tad jumps up, looks around the crowded lobby and says: "I can't do this now!" Dixie (also jumping up): "We have to talk about this --" Tad grits his teeth: "Not now!" Dixie: "Go somewhere --" Tad: "Not now! Please! I've got to go to work. I'll see you at home." Dixie: "Ok." Tad stalks away and she looks down at the floor before clomping into the dining room.
Ryan, Gillian and Jake walk into the lobby again [when did they leave?] and Jake tells Ryan that if he likes the limelight, that's fine, but he came there to eat lunch, NOT to be put on the spot and ambushed by reporters! Ryan, his hair looking like he toweled it off with eggwhites and left it that way, says he thought the publicity would be great for the organization. Jake says that Ryan organized it at Jake's expense to make HIMSELF look good. The fundraiser was RYAN'S idea -- Jake never asked Ryan for a DIME, so the next time Ryan is looking for public adoration, find another cause and leave him out of it! Jakes beeper/cell phone rings and he has to go back to the E.R. [doesn't he ALWAYS have to do that whenver they go to the PVI? Maybe they should consider eating at BJs] He and Gillian awkwardly kiss goodbye. Ryan apologizes to her, saying he didn't know they would be there. She apologizes for Jake's attitude, saying he's been under a lot of stress lately. She's sure Jake didn't mean it. Ryan is sure that he DID mean it. She is overly solicitous to Ryan as she blathers about the good cause. They stare. Greenlee walks up behind Gillian and grins like a Cheshire cat, saying: "Hmmmm. What have we here? A tender moment between Pine Valley's heroic adulterers? How do you do it? I can't get one man, and you've got two dangling [well, ONE of them is dangling]. And people call ME a predator!" She gives a Marcia Brady twirl and exits to the dining room. Gillian stares and Ryan glowers. Gillian turns to face Ryan.
PINE VALLEY HOSPITAL
Edmund asks what's next, a restraining order to keep him away from Alex? Is he going to have Edmund arrested if he comes within 50 feet of Alex? Dimitri holds up his hands and magnanimously says he doesn't want it to come to that. Edmund says he can keep doing his job and being a father and living in the same town, but he CAN'T just forget his feelings for Alex. Dimitri says he knows that, but Edmund says that's why he has to leave Pine Valley. Alex walks in and says: "No, you KON'T!" Alex says he kon't teach his children to run away. He says he doesn't want to teach them that their father is MISERABLE. She says that she and Dimitri will stay in the hunting lodge, but he says that's not far enough -- he HAS to put more distance between them. She says he kon't uproot his children like that and take them away from their family ... and MARIA'S family. He says there are planes and phones -- they'll keep in touch. She says it will be a HUGE emotional setback for him if he left [but he'll be just peachy-keen if he stays?] He says he has to leave anyway -- he sold Wildwind to Dimitri. She assures him that Dimitri would never kick him out, but Edmund insists he can't stay there. She suggests across town, then, but he kon't leave. Edmund rushes out and Alex starts to follow, but Dimitri stops her.
She says Edmund is so impulsive and they have to stop him! Dimitri says he has to work things out on his own. She disagrees and says he already feels abandoned -- he has to handle his emotions there, with THEM. Dimitri: "With YOU!" She says yes, she can help him. Dimitri says that she IS the problem -- if she keeps comforting him, Edmund well either become dependent or obsessed and either way it's torment and it's DANGEROUS! She says no. He pretty much ORDERS her to let go of Edmund, but she says she's not going to give up on him.
Dimitri asks if she's already let Edmund go or is there something she's trying to tell him (Dimitri)? She's shocked and runs into his arms, proclaiming her love for him. Alex: "I love you! I love you. I thank God every day you came back to me. But your brother is in trouble. He is so conflicted. He loves you, but I am the reason that he's in pain. I gave him love, and I took it away!" Dimitri: " Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!" She says Edmund told her things in confidence that she's not at liberty to divulge -- he just has to trust her and believe that she CAN help Edmund. He says she's been sneaking around behind his back and keeping things from him and EDMUND is the one who is making her do it. Alex is perplexed. He says he saw the two of them with each other earlier -- he's not mad, he's CONCERNED! He wants her to back off before it gets more complicated. She reiterates Edmund's state of trouble and pain and says she made a promise to him to help and she intends to KEEP that promise. He says she's making a HUGE mistake. Her face contorting with painful memories, she says that Edmund helped her through the worst period of her life and she's going to return that favor. She knows Dimitri doesn't understand, but hopes that someday he will. She walks away and Dimitri makes a face wherein his lower lip covers the upper one to form a grim, yet comical line. He sighs.
THE WILDWIND MAUSOLEUM
The scene opens with a full shot of Maria's death-plaque, which reads: "MARIA SANTOS GREY -- NOVEMBER 27, 1967 -- AUGUST 12, 1997". The camera pans around the room and a tormented Edmund walks in, dejectedly walks over to the plaque and caresses it. He leans his head against what has got to be a FREEZING cold mixture of metal and stone. Edmund: "I tried so hard, Maria. I thought that if I could survive losing you, I could survive anything. But I was fooling myself, pretending like I could just carry on like a normal person. I actually thought that I could be in love again, I made a real mess of things." He gives the plaque a chuck and a slap, then shuffles over to the coffin in the middle of the room, squatting down next to it. "And now the only way that I can fix it is to -- to take the kids and leave here." His voice breaks and he starts to cry as he says: "And I'm sorry because I know that you wanted the kids to grow up here and fill the house with memories. [my guess is that they'll forever-more have nightmares of living in a dreary, gothic castle, replete with a mausoleum, child-eating mineshafts and wells, the ghosts of angry old men and an uncle who keeps dying, then popping up again like a Jack-in-the-Box -- and let's not forget those tense and eventful family dinners (well, okay, we ALL have THOSE); they'll be in therapy for years to come] Maybe someday I could -- I could come back, but I have to go now. I miss you so much. Maria, I would do anything to be with you again!" Suddenly Edmund hears Alf, his voice substantially distorted and garbled [aggravating my already pounding headache], asking him if that's what he wants -- to join his dead wife in the grave? He tells him the usual 'stay and fight for what's your's you worthless, weak, wussy, candy-assed little crybaby PUNK!' [or words to that effect].
Edmund jumps up in a panic, skirting around the coffin as Alf says "Once a stable boy, ALWAYS a stable boy! (Yadda, yadda, yadda)" [I consider FFing and putting a cold cloth on my pounding forehead] Edmund covers his ears and runs over to Maria's plaque like, well, a wussy, candy-assed little crybaby. He yells at Alf to go away. Dimitri walks up to the mausoleum and stops, watching Edmund through the door as he yells at Alf some more to shut up and get out of his head. As Alf yells that even a mangy dog defends his turf, Edmund looks like his head is going to explode as he gives in to all-out wailing and pitifully begs Alf to get out of his head. Dimitri tilts his head back slightly and, with that grim line of a mouth, looks thoughtful as he stares.
PINE VALLEY INN
Back at the busiest table in the restaurant, David continues to hold the glass of cola like it contains nitroglycerin as Erica goes on and on and on and on about the Enchantment campaign. David keeps nodding and tries not to spill the cola. He looks around impatiently as Erica takes some pills out of her purse and keeps nattering on about the photo shoot and Leo and Bianca's lack of chemistry. He sympathizes and says it's a great opportunity for the two of them. She wants to show him the photos because she thinks Bruce is right about them. She also looks impatiently around, anxious to get a glass of water. David tells her to calm down. She agrees that she's really, REALLY stressed out and she has a splitting headache [that makes 2 of us]. She leans toward him and asks if her pupils are dilated -- she hopes she doesn't have a migraine. He sets the glass down and takes her hand, telling her her pupils look fine. They look a little turned on (but just a little) and he asks to drive her home. She says in a minute. It's no wonder she has a splitting headache -- Bruce actually implied that her daughter has NO sex appeal -- can you imagine? Not that she wants Bianca to dress like a sex kitten or anything that like. David looks worried and bored as he keeps peering behind his chair. She yells more urgently for a waiter, complains about the lack of service, then grabs his soda and pops her pills [I thought she NEVER took any pain relievers, not even aspirin -- wasn't she talking about being in "the program" just yesterday?] David watches in stunned disbelief as she continues to gulp the glass-o-uninhibited-id. She finally takes a breath and fervently says she hopes they take effect right away. She drinks even more and he stares at her, trying to decide what to do next. [My guess is that he'll drive her home and try to accommodate her ;-)]
On the next AMC:
Leo to Laura: "You think you know me?" Laura: "I think you can't stand I caught you with your pants down."
Arlene to Stuart (at the gallery): "I need your help. I have no place else to go!"
Erica in a voice-over as the camera shows 4 shots of her: 1) Shimmying at a piano, 2) being dipped by Jack as David watches, 3) ripping off David's shirt as she pulls him backward, 4) snuggling up to Jack (maybe on his lap): "I feel drunk on passion for love!"
Dimitri, walking into the mausoleum: "Edmund, what's going on?"
Irreverently submitted,
Robin "Oh David, let's play doctor so you can treat MY headache" Coutellier
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